Category: Disney
Here Are The Trailers For Disney’s Live-Action “The Little Mermaid,” “Hocus Pocus 2,” And “Disenchanted”
Mickey Mouse probably lived it up last night by popping bottles and making it rain Disney dollars on twerking mice at Disneyland’s Club 33. Because the trailers for several movies that are going to make his greedy ass even richer were released. D23 Expo, the event where Disney drops trailers and info for their upcoming projects, is happening this weekend in Anaheim, CA. And yesterday, Disney released the teaser trailer for its live-action The Little Mermaid, and full trailers for Hocus Pocus 2 and the Enchanted sequel called Disenchanted. There was also an appearance by one of Disenchanted‘s stars, Patrick Dempsey, who served snow daddy realness.
Here’s The Trailer For “Winnie The Pooh: Blood And Honey”
Like Pinnochio, the book Winnie The Pooh by A.A. Milne has recently entered the public domain meaning Disney’s vice grip on those properties has slipped enough that Guillermo del Toro has a competing Pinnochio movie coming to Netflix and some sicko with a honey fetish has Pooh and Piglet running around with axes making mincemeat out of women in the new horror film Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey. Personally, I’d prefer to see WTP turned into a porno based on that time he got his ass stuck in Rabbit’s gloryhole, but I suppose that probably already exists.
Open Post: Hosted By The Full Trailer For Disney’s Live-Action Remake Of “Pinocchio”
I still haven’t seen Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis but after covering it at length, I think I get the basics. Block headed boy is taken under the wing of an elderly stage manager type with suspicious motives and a broadly “European” accent played by Tom Hanks who pulls his strings to make him sing and dance which he’s not really good at until he meets a Black musician who animates his hips and the boy gets super famous and runs off to live a life of and debauchery and adventure before ultimately dying alone on the shitter. Have I got that right or did I just describe to you the entire plot of Robert Zemeckis’ Pinocchio? I’d argue both are correct.
Open Post: Hosted By The People Trapped On The It’s A Small World Ride
Torture is defined by Webster’s dictionary as “something that causes agony or pain” and “anguish of body or mind.” Depending on your tolerance level, hearing something over and over again COULD be considered a form of torture. But if that song is Disney’s It’s a Small World, then it is DEFINITELY considered torture! A group of tourists experienced their own version of hell at Disney’s Magic Kingdom when the It’s a Small World ride got stuck. They were trapped for a full hour, listening to the theme on loop and watching animatronic puppets jerkily dance in place.
Open Post: Hosted By The $5,000 “Star Wars” Cocktail On Disney’s Newest Cruise Ship
While most of us are spending our vacation money on gas and groceries if you have a few extra coins in your bank account I suggest you take a trip on Disney’s newest cruise ship, Wish. Recently Wish made its inaugural debut showcasing a variety of amenities. But the one that is really going to dig into your pockets is a $5,000 cocktail on the menu at the ship’s Star Wars-themed lounge.
Open Post: Hosted By The Teaser Trailer For “Hocus Pocus 2”
The first trailer of the long-awaited Hocus Pocus sequel is here! Hocus Pocus 2 (how long did it take ’em to come up with that one?) will drop on Disney+ on September 30, just in time for spooky season. The teaser trailer gives us a quick glimpse of the Sanderson Sisters, played by Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy, and a longer look at the next generation of troublesome kids who can’t stop themselves from fucking with magic spells that resurrect evil witches who were burned at the stake for a very good reason (child murder).