Cheryl Burke Says That She’ll Fight Her Ex, Matthew Lawrence, In Court For Custody Of Their Dog

October 7, 2022 / Posted by:

Because the court docket in a state where excessive water usage violations and Erika Jayne Girardi exist isn’t full enough, Dancing With The Stars pro, Cheryl Burke just waltzed in to make it known that she’s ready to go to war with her recent ex-husband, Matthew Lawrence, when it comes to the custody of the couple’s particularly human-named French Bulldog, Ysabella.

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“Dancing With The Stars” Contestant Cody Rigsby And His Partner Cheryl Burke Have Tested Positive For COVID

October 1, 2021 / Posted by:

Ever since Hollywood returned to work, there’s been no end to the stories about how everyone is taking safety precautions very seriously and noses have been swabbed a minimum of 10 times a day and everyone is vaccinated and all that. So when Dancing With The Stars returned for their 30th season (and their first with a live audience since pre-COVID times), I would have just naturally assumed that the biggest health risk onset would be accidental lung poisoning from inhaling a mouthful of JoJo Siwa’s glue-soaked hair glitter. But nope, COVID is still very much a threat, which is something that Season 30 contestant Cody Rigsby found out the hard way. Cody tested positive for the virus shortly after his partner Cheryl Burke tested positive.

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Abby Lee Miller Will Return To Terrorize Children On “Dance Moms”

December 31, 2018 / Posted by:

When I heard Abby Lee Miller had been let out of the slammer, I figured Lifetime had its cameras on her because the IRS knew it wasn’t like she was going to pay them back by going to work as a bitchywaitress at the neighborhood Denny’s. For the sake of children dancers and their mothers everywhere, I also figured she would just get her own show that didn’t put her in any kind of educator role, since, ah, well, she’s certainly a unique kind of role model. I guess I’m the fool! Abby Lee confirmed she’s heading back to Dance Moms. Somehow, I feel like her debut at her old studio is going to look just like when Jon Snow scared the shit out of Cersei by having that White Walker goblin zombie pop out of a box at the end of last season of Game Of Thrones.

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Cheryl Burke Is The New Abby Lee Miller, For Now

March 29, 2017 / Posted by:

Two days ago, The Boogeyman’s idol, Abby Lee Miller, melodramatically farted up an Instagram post where she announced that she’s leaving Dance Moms forever, because she refuses to be manipulated and used by the producers anymore. I’m with Abby. Don’t the producers know that Abby Lee Miller is the only one allowed to do the manipulating and using on Dance Moms? Before Abby quit the show, Lifetime ordered more episodes, so producers brought in choreographer Laurieanne Gibson to fill in. Entertainment Tonight says that Laurieanne filmed for three weeks but left when Abby Lee Miller stormed back on set and demanded that her replacement be kicked off. Entertainment Tonight also says that my former arch rival (in my head), Cheryl “Mop Head” Burke, is taking over for Abby for the rest of the season. So yeah, the girls will go from shaking as Abby screams at them to falling asleep mid-pirouette from listening to boring Cheryl Burke.

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Two Protesters Crashed Ryan Lochte’s Performance On DWTS Last Night

September 13, 2016 / Posted by:

This may be the first time in maybe forever that Ryan Lochte’s dopey “Jeah, what’s happening?” face is the correct reaction to something. The 23rd season of Dancing with the Sure, Let’s Call Them Stars premiered last night. For the second time in as many months, Ryan Lochte found himself in another messy situation. Except this time, it really wasn’t his fault.

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It’s Loin-Girding Time, Because Rick Perry Is Going To Thrust His Crotch On “Dancing With The Stars”

August 30, 2016 / Posted by:

Unfortunately, your eyeballs will not get to take in the sight of Anthony Weiner doing the Samba to Ludacris’ “Sexting” while wearing sequined Jockey chonies, because it looks like the producers of Dancing with the Desperates were unable to work their casting magic and get him at the last minute. Instead, the politician slot has been filled by gay-hating, corn dog deep throating champion Rick Perry, who was the Governor of Texas for a long time and ran for president a couple of times. Chris Christie is weeping on Donald Trump’s Made in China shirt-covered chichis, because he’s the governor with moves like no other.

This morning, ABC burped up the names of famous (and famous-ish-esque) messes who will dance for a check and compete for that mirror ball trophy. As expected, Ryan Lochte’s Damage Control Tour is taking him to DWTS and joining him and Rick Perry will be Amber Rose, Marcia Brady and Vanilla Ice. As a lover of fuckery, I cannot wait for this train wreck to hit my TV screen.

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