Dancing With The Has-Beens: No Dollar Store Trophy For Mop Head

October 6, 2009 / Posted by:

CHERYL BURKE’S black magic voodoo spells have backfired yet again! People reports that her partner Tom Delay will announce on tonight’s episode of Dancing with Faces from the Milk Carton that he has to quit that shit due to foot injuries. Tom suffered stress fractures in both of his hooves after Mop Head accidentally sat on them during rehearsals. I made that last part up.

On last night’s episode, Tom said that the doctors and producers urged him to stop dancing, but he loves torturing Mop Head (and us) so he said he was going to go on with the “party.”

But the pain of seeing Mop Head’s face on a daily basis has become unbearable, so Tom has no choice but to bow out. More importantly, Mop Head HAS LOST! I will be dancing around in my living room with my Swiffer while she eats her sorrows away at the craft service table. That table doesn’t know what’s coming.

And here’s Tom and Mop Head’s final performance from last night. Your stomach should be happy too since it won’t get seizures anymore while having to watch Tom thrust it like a Bill Clinton.

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26 responses to “Dancing With The Has-Beens: No Dollar Store Trophy For Mop Head”

  1. Eddie says:

    Submitted by xxyxz on Tue, 10/06/2009 – 3:50pm.

    aww, I know what you need……..

  2. Baby Jane Hudson says:

    This embarrassment should have been gone two weeks ago and taken that no talent criminal Tom Delay with her.

    I HATE this show because of the CHEAP ASS producers. Couldn’t they use some of the revenue they pocket to donate to the winning celeb’s favorite charity?? How greedy to only give a shitty award.

  3. justaguest says:

    Good. Maybe he can now dance his ass right into the pokey.

  4. govt_cheese says:

    He’s the guy from the blind item 2 weeks ago that’s only doing it for the prescription drugs, isn’t he. Yeah, I thought so immediately.

    -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

    O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It’s bigger than the other.

  5. DeeDee says:

    You suck Delay!

    ΦΦΦΦΦΦΦΦΦΦΦ
    Horchata

  6. z-listed says:

    People laugh and think DeLay doing this show is so cute and shows what a regular guy he is.

    BULLSHIT! Has everyone forgotten what a bastard he was in the House of Reps? This crapola ex-bug exterminator was actually the Majority leader of the House for a while and the position of power went to his pointy little head and he aided and abetted the worst president EVER and his criminal acts!

    People, we are paying for those acts of hubris and idiocy today and will be for a long time.

    (off soapbox, now…sorry but he really makes me sick!)

    **************************************************

    I’m not really that smart, it’s just that everyone else is so damn stupid!

  7. Pearl_Necklace says:

    Mr. Delay, I know Bill Clinton’s thrusts, and yours are no Bill Clintons.

  8. Pearl_Necklace says:

    Submitted by z-listed on Tue, 10/06/2009 – 9:18pm.
    ——————————————-

    Right on. His thrusts are as galling as his criminal history.

  9. Bjork You says:

    Hurt foot, my butt. Bitch knows she stinks and is using that as an excuse. As someone else posted, she should dance her way into the pokey.

  10. Khensu Hetep says:

    What else has Sheryl Burke done?

    I think she’s quite pretty, btw.

    ♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

    Sugar is sweet,
    Lemons are sour,
    Get on your back,
    And give me an hour.

  11. Harley Quinn says:

    Why isn’t this fucker, Tom “bugman” Delay, in the Federal Penn instead of on this show? He was indicted a few years ago…talk about squeaky wheels of justice.

  12. gnarlyone says:

    I’m surprised no one hit “The Hammer” on the head …or stuck a shiv
    in his sansabelt

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/

  13. Centaurious says:

    Imelda Marcos and Wink Martindale are such an interesting couple…

  14. freshfacestripper says:

    aww..i liked it. he reminds me of my gay great uncle from nevada.

  15. RR Fields says:

    I don’t know, Cheryl Burke is looking very fucking hot this year. Shame she is getting booted off.

  16. Frybread says:

    All Delay needs is a pointy red hat and he’d look like a garden gnome in that pic.

  17. Miramami says:

    Mira, I love to see Cheryl squirm as she has to rub crotches with this old, broke down relic instead of the hot piece of yesterseason.

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