When I heard Abby Lee Miller had been let out of the slammer, I figured Lifetime had its cameras on her because the IRS knew it wasn’t like she was going to pay them back by going to work as a bitchywaitress at the neighborhood Denny’s. For the sake of children dancers and their mothers everywhere, I also figured she would just get her own show that didn’t put her in any kind of educator role, since, ah, well, she’s certainly a unique kind of role model. I guess I’m the fool! Abby Lee confirmed she’s heading back to Dance Moms. Somehow, I feel like her debut at her old studio is going to look just like when Jon Snow scared the shit out of Cersei by having that White Walker goblin zombie pop out of a box at the end of last season of Game Of Thrones.
bby Lee went on Instagram to say, “OMG! Can you believe I’m going to film Season 8 of Dance Moms!” Well, yes, Abby Lee, I can believe you’re coming back because it brings ratings which also brings what everyone likes: MO-NAY!
Speaking of Game Of Thrones, I’m not exactly sure where this leaves Cheryl Burke, who took over for Abby Lee. Cheryl said everyone was “traumatized” when she first arrived to be the new instructor on Dance Moms. If Abby Lee is back, I hope they duke it out for the Wagon Wheel Watoosi Iron Throne. Now THAT’S something I could both watch and keep up with.
In all seriousness, Abby Lee has had a pretty shitty year. She got out of jail in March after doing time for bankruptcy fraud, and then she had emergency back surgery in April after getting diagnosed with Non-hodgkins lymphoma. She’s having to re-learn how to walk, and it seems like she will be starting her return in a wheel chair:
Maybe Abby Lee will be nicer this time around! Yeah, you’re right. Someone is getting run over by that wheel chair within the first ten minutes of the season premiere.