Category: Animal Abuse
Alan Cumming’s Missing Chimp Co-Star Was Found Alive, And His Owner Admits To Faking His Death
Apes and monkeys ruled TV and film in the ’90s. See: Friends, George of the Jungle, Ed, Mighty Joe Young, Monkey Trouble, Dunston Checks In, and Buddy, a 1997 box-office bomb which starred Rene Russo as an eccentric, animal-loving socialite who raises a gorilla as her son. Alan Cumming co-starred as Rene’s butler/animal handler, and many of his scene partners were cute chimps.
25 years later, and one of Alan’s chimp co-stars is making headlines. His name is Tonka, and, up until recently, he was missing (and technically dead). Alan, concerned for Tonka’s well-being, teamed up with PETA and offered a $10,000 reward for anyone with information about the animal’s whereabouts. Luckily, Tonka has been found, and his owner, Tonia Haddix, admitted to Rolling Stone that she faked his death so she wouldn’t have to turn him into an animal sanctuary. Damn. There hasn’t been primate drama this messy since 2012’s Ikea monkey!
Jena Malone Helped Perform A Citizen’s Arrest On A Man Who Was Abusing A Dog
Jena Malone, star of my childhood (Stepmom, Donnie Darko, and Saved!) and the Hunger Games movies, found herself involved in some real-life drama on Monday. Jena was driving in Los Angeles when she saw a man abusing a small dog. She later tweeted that he was kicking the poor pup and “yanking him up in the air and absolutely choking” him. Jena yelled at the guy to stop, but he wouldn’t. So she jumped out of her car and began chasing his ass!
Open Post: Hosted By The Camel Botox Scandal Rocking Saudi Arabia
Beauty standards really do trickle down, huh? A little TOO far. 40 camels have been disqualified from a prestigious Saudi Arabian camel beauty pageant after Saudi authorities decided to crack down on camel abuse, aka artificial touch-ups on the contestants. Botox, facelifts, tucks–you name it! You thought that Miss America was cutthroat?
Armie Hammer May Have Provoked His Dog Into Biting Him Hard
Today, PETA is continuing to fight the fights that really matter by telling everyone to stop using “speciesist” insults like “pig,” “rat,” “snake,” and “chicken.” Well, you chicken shit snake rats at PETA, while you’re screaming about that, Armie Hammer is allegedly abusing his dog. We’ve all heard the brain-corroding allegations about how Armie physically and mentally abused several women, and one woman claimed that he bragged about killing an animal so he could eat the animal’s heart. And now a source tells The Daily Mail that Armie’s Welsh Terrier Archie is very chill and would only bite someone if fucked with and so Armie must have fucked with the dog to get Archie to bite him. Armie later showed the wound on Instagram, blaming Archie. One of Armie’s exes, Courtney Vucekovich said that on top of Armie being abusive, he was also broke and she had to pay for everything. Well, hopefully, Armie is broke because Archie has been slowly taking money from him to get away and also sue Armie for slander.
Cher Met And Serenaded The “World’s Loneliest Elephant” In Cambodia
Goddammit, my eye holes are leaking over this story. As we all know, Queen Cher is an octuple threat – singer, actress, natural beauty, LGBTQIA+ icon, patriot, thief, wordsmith, and crimefighter. But did you know that the 74-year-old legend is also an elephant activist? In the past she’s (unsuccessfully) fought for Billy the Elephant’s transfer from the L.A. Zoo. More recently she campaigned for Kavaan’s release from a neglectful zoo in Pakistan. And this time, success! Kavaan, also known as “the world’s loneliest elephant” has been moved to a Cambodian sanctuary.
That YouTuber Who Got Caught Hitting And Spitting On Her Dog Is Being Investigated By The LAPD
Lucifer’s minions are going to be busy for a while, because they’re going to need to expand the YouTuber wing of Hell’s Special Place to make room for another future resident who will join Logan Paul, that Fantastic Adventures demon mom, and the LaBrant parents. That future resident of Hell’s Special Place is Brooke Houts, a YouTuber with over 300,000 subscribers, whose digital whoopsie has turned into an investigation by the LAPD’s Animal Cruelty unit. Brooke got caught abusing her Doberman Sphinx. Brooke’s YouTube career might be over, but she shouldn’t worry, because if Michael Vick ever puts together a network, Brooke is a shoo-in to star in her own show The Dog Yeller™.