Madonna Threw Shade At Beyonce
Hello, fellow Dlisted-ers! I’m Jovi, reporting from Seattle, WA. Where I spend most of my time staring at the mailbox waiting for a magical letter confirming that I am the dumpster lust baby conceived by Jerri Blank and Laird at the Flatpoint High “Make Out Dance.” The other 20 minutes of my day, I enjoy sitting on the front porch, critiquing the Grunge Revivalists that pass by, wiping away tears of nostalgia and sighing about how easy it is to buy pre-ripped jeans and flannel shirts now. We really had to thrift hard for that shit back in the day. Anyway, enough curmudgeonry, let the antics begin!
Poor Madonna has probably been feeling a bit “True Blue” lately, as she hasn’t had any viable press or felt “Cherished” since the Met Gala six weeks ago, so she decided to throw a little “Ray of Light” on herself (luckily, that’s all I’ve got). Well, Madge got the attention she craved this morning, but not entirely the kind she had in mind.
Prison Bae Paid His Ex-Wife Six Figures To Get Full Custody Of Their Son
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Gold Digging is an art. And few have finessed the skill such as Prison Bae, Mr. Jeremy Meeks. Not only has he found his cash cow in Topshop heiress (above) Chloe Green (the green means money), but he has locked it ALL the way down and now he’s closed the fucking loop by thoroughly ending it with his ex-wife who isn’t worth billions. And by thorough, I mean: she got paid to hand over their son and flutter away.
Rachel Bloom Set The Record Straight About That Neil Patrick Harris Tweet
Neil Patrick Harris wasn’t at the Tony Awards last weekend, but he still managed to make his presence known by live tweeting the event. That’s actually too generous. He popped off with a handful of “observations”, one of which sounded an awful lot like an “I don’t know her” joke directed towards Rachel Bloom who was working the backstage beat for the show. Turns out it wasn’t a joke. Doogie must actually suffer from prosopagnosia, because Rachel gave an interview with GQ and read Doogie for filth. But in a nice way.
Lil’ Kim Has Filed For Bankruptcy, Owes $4 Million To Creditors
Well, now we know why she was being investigated for robbery. Applause goes to Kimberly Denise Jones for deftly showing up that tired Tori Spelling and her tired amount of unpaid taxes. Representing the East Coast in the war between celebrity tax dodgers, pioneering rap icon Lil’ Kim has applied for bankruptcy, according to The Blast. I think we all know what where her cash went. It went to finance her ongoing performance art piece – “The Many Catlike Countenances Of Lil’ Kim.” Continue reading
NBA Player Ben Simmons May Have Cheated On Tinashe With Kendall Jenner
Up until last winter, Kendall Jenner was dating NBA player Blake Griffin. Not long after Blake first got with Kendall, the mother of his two children sued him for palimony, and accused him of skipping out on their family for Kendall. It’s starting to sound like Kendall might be coming for big sister Khloe’s title as The One Who’s Good At Hooking Up With Cheaters.
“Solo” Performed Below Disney’s Expectations
Disney owns Marvel. Marvel = money. So it must have come as a bitter disappointment to them this weekend when the latest film in their OTHER franchise universe (Solo: A Star Wars Story) performed below expectations at the box office. The Hollywood Reporter says that Solo was predicted to take in between $130 and $150 million at the domestic box office this holiday weekend. So far, it’s only earned around $83.3 million for the three-day weekend (and $101 million for the four-day weekend) Blame the film’s pinch hitter director Ron Howard. He hasn’t made a good flick since Splash.