Brangelina’s golden twins have not even step foot on mortal ground yet and they are already being honored. Mayor Christian Estrosi of Nice, France said that the twin chosen ones will always be considered honorary citizens of his city.

Saint Angelina is currently resting on her ivory throne in the Lenval Hospital in Nice waiting to bestow the world with our new messiahs. The mayor believes that the twins being born in his city is a great honor.

The mayor told reporters on Friday, “That is for the citizens of Nice a very great honor and a great satisfaction. We are very happy for this choice of Mrs. Angelina Jolie and Mr. Brad Pitt and I want to say to them that I wish a lot of joy to them and the babies, and great success for all of their lives. All their lives they will be Nicois and all their life they will be able to come to Nice and we will receive them with great honor.”

Even the mayor of Nice is a Brangaloonie! Personally, I think being named honorary citizens is not good enough for these two perfect humans. They should be given the National Order of the Legion of Honor. Fuck, just name them the Queens of the Universe already.

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Grass is green, kittens are cute, Shauna Sand is elegant, Tommy Girl’s ass-coochie looks like E.T. and DMX has been arrested AGAIN!!!!! Somebody get the good hos at Guinness World Records on the line, because I think this bitch has beat some sort of record.

Yesterday morning, DMX was arrested in Phoenix on outstanding warrants as soon as he stepped off the plane. Do you think the cops were waiting at baggage with one of those signs that says, “Mr. DMX.”

His lawyer said he knew he was going to be arrested, because he failed to appear in court on other charges. He is being held on a $1,075 bond for driving with a suspended license and a $10,000 bond for other illegal crap.

This bitch has been arrested several times in the past few months. He was arrested last Friday in Florida for trying to buy coke and weed.

Dreamboat Doherty better step up his game! DMX is seriously stealing his shine.

Above is just some of DMX’s many mug shots. The last one is the latest. DMX could give us some damn variety! Ty Ty Banks would not be pleased. He’s giving us the same weepy ass look in every shot. He needs to “smile with his eyes” and pucker up his lips a bit. He’s had enough practice! Bitch needs to take a class at Glamour Shots on how to give us some variety.

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Thanks Lana

What mammal does Sir Ben Kingsley looks like? A pepaw marmoset with a fancy British accent, perhaps? I can’t figure it out, but that look on his face makes me want to feed him frozen grapes.

Sir Benny has lashed out at Hollywood for hiring young actors for their looks and not talent. Say it ain’t so! He’s telling us that Hollywood is filled with talentless trash?! I’ve never heard such a thing.

He said, “Some young people are told they’re actors and they’re not. It’s unfair to exploit a young person who may look good on a magazine cover and tell them they can be in movies. You’re lifting their expectations so high and then pulling the rug from under their feet when the audience gives them a thumbs-down. We throw people away too easily but should never invite them in the first place.”

ScarJo, Keira Knightley, Megan Fox and every young ho on TV – He’s talking to you!

Sir Benny said many of these young hos turn to drugs ending in “tragic results.” When it comes to drugs, Sir Ben already has his own, “I have my own drug – it’s called acting. I get completely stoned on it.”

Just shut up and show us your pepaw marmoset penis! That line might have worked in his high school drama class, but it doesn’t work in the real world. He really needs a joint.

Sharon Stone better have carded that bitch before doing fuckey fuckey times with him. The last thing she needs is Chris Hansen bursting in on her while she’s pounding her cougar coochie into that child’s face.

Wait….maybe Cruella de Stone isn’t bumping no-no holes with this young bitch. Maybe, she’s planning to wear his ass! Animal fur isn’t good enough for her anymore, so now she’s going to wear baby ass skin. Poor dude doesn’t know it. He thinks he’s going to bone the Stone.

Pornstar and overall haggard skank, Pamela Anderson, had this to say about Jessica Simpson during a radio interview in Australia:

“I think she is a bitch and whore. “

Obviously, Pamela has never looked in the mirror and has never googled her whorey bitch ass! Pamela’s kind word for Jessica were in response to Jessica wearing a “Real Girls Eat Meat” t-shirt. Peta’s #1 jack-off partner went on to say, “Actually, I don’t know if she was talking about food or men.”

There’s really only one way to settle this new feud: CAGE FIGHT! Nude cage fight with lots and lots of raw meat! And when I say “raw meat,” I’m not talking about Jess and Pammy’s coochies.

Source: The Sun

Anne Hathaway’s Zach Braff look-alike ex-beard, Raffaello Follieri, was arrested for wire fraud and money laundering. Raffaello’s skeezy ass is accused of telling an investor he had been named CFO of the Vatican. The AP reports that because of his Vatican connection, he was able to buy properties at a discount owned by the Catholic Church in the US.

Zach, I mean Raffaello, is due in court this morning.

Annie Hathaway is totally laughing into a warm, pile of snatch! And I’ll fucking bet my prized dildo collection that his real name is something plain like Ralph Foley.

Ralph Foley has also earned a prime spot next to me on the short bus to hell for that little ungodly stunt. Dark-sided! Don’t laugh! You have a spot in the back of the bus next to Don Imus and that ole’ bitch is going to blow pepaw farts the entire way.