The always polite and considerate, Kanye West, pissed off the crowd at the Bonnaroo Musical Festival in Tennessee because his set started two hours late. Kanye and Wino (see below) were busy with a riveting game of Connect 4. The AP reports that Kanye was scheduled for 2:45am, but he didn’t go on until 4:25am.

The two hour delay was blamed on Kanye’s massive set. The crew had to put together some gigantic Star Trek spaceship shit or something and that’s what took so long.

The audience did not approve of the delay and some of them started throwing glow sticks at the stage and shouting “Kanye Sucks!” Glow sticks?! Ravers gone wild! Kanye seriously fucked with their Ecstasy roll and they did not appreciate that. Other whores decided this shit was too late for them, so they shuffled off to sleepy time.

When Kanye finally took the stage, he didn’t say shit about being late and didn’t apologize. Halfway through his set, most of the crowd ditched his ass to become one with their sleeping bags.

I don’t think Kanye even knows how to pronounce the words, “I”m sorry.” It doesn’t compute.

And I’m sorry, but 4:25am?! You know the crowd was filled with a bunch of crackheads who could care less if Kanye was on stage or Marie Osmond was on stage.

A pap was arrested in Mississippi for stalking Jamie Lynn Spears and Casey Aldridge. Edwin Merino, the pap, was arrested while taking pictures of the couple at a gas station. They were buying their dinner for the night. I’m joking. I think. Edwin told the Associated Press that he was at least 200 feet away from them.

Edwin said that he was about to go to Los Angeles because he wasn’t able to get that many pictures of their country asses. He said, “I haven’t worked on them myself. The first time I got a good look at him was in court.”

After he was arrested and booked, a police officer drove him to the ATM and he got the $1,143 needed for his bail. WTF?! You can get that much money out of country ATMs?! Shit, I try to take out more than $200 and the ATM throws me shade.

Now that Edwin is going back to Hollyweird to get more pictures of Brit Brit without panties, who the hell is going to catch JL eating meat on a stick on an ATV? We neeeeed these pictures! I”m sure one of her cousins will do it for a couple of food stamps.

It’s almost impossible to figure out what the hell Amy Wino is talking about half of the time. She was in court this morning to support Blaaaake during his pre-trial. She showed up on Wino time (hours late) and sat in the front row. During the hearing, Wino loudly said, “It’s like Disneyland.” Who speaks fluent crackie? I have no idea what she means. If it’s Disneyland then she’s the Matterhorn and her crack hive is the Haunted Mansion.

Blaaake tried to pass Wino a handwritten note, but the court usher wouldn’t allow it. Wino got up to leave and whispered, “Fuck you.”

Jury selection in Blaaake’s trial is set to begin next week. When the trial begins, they better broadcast this shit live OJ-style. I want to see how many times Wino tries to sneak a bump right there in court. She thinks she’s so slick.

Here’s Wino on her way home after court. She’s carrying a bottle of Malibu. She probably uses it as mouthwash. That shit is nasty!

An innocent mooning in the Netherlands ended with a 21-year-old Dutch dude being sent to the hospital. Police said that the dude and a friend were skipping down the street with their pants pulled down. I’m assuming they were wasted. One of the dudes pressed his ass against the window of a restaurant. The window broke leaving his ass cut up and bloody. The police man said there were “deep wounds to his derriere.” Derriere!

Bloody with deep wounds? That’s my ass after a busy Saturday night.

Source

Thanks Shy

This is a sad, sad story. Pour yourself a cup of Cream of Rice and grab a hankie. 85-year-old Ed McMahon’s Beverly Hills home is about to go into foreclosure. Pepaw in distress!

Ed is $644,000 behind on payments on $4.8 million in mortgage loans. A default notice was filed on February 28th reports the Associated Press.

Ed’s spokesbitch said he hasn’t been able to get work since breaking his neck 18 months ago. He said that they are currently in negotiations with the mortgage company, but it’s not clear whether or not Ed and his wifey get to stay in their home.

The home has been on the market for two years at $6.25 million. The 6-bedroom home is located in the gated community of The Summit. This is where Brit Brit’s greasy ass lives and Ed’s realtor said this has created problems. He said, “When we were trying to sell the house one time, there were about 100 paparazzi there.” Tell the Cheeto One to move her ass out of there! Matthew McConaughey lives in a fine trailer park in Malibu. Brit Brit would fit right in there.

Has Ed entered the American Family Publishers sweepstakes? He may have already won $10 million!

Seriously, how can we help Ed? Pepaw Bake-A-Thon? Pepaw sex tape? We must save Ed’s house!

Thanks Nancy

Yves Saint Laurent died today in Paris at the age of 71. His close friend, Pierre Berge, confirmed his passing and would only say he died this evening after a long illness. He did not give any other details.

Yves retired from haute couture in 2002.

Sad.

Source: AFP