Robin Wright (49)
Jamie Sierota (22)
Shelby Young (23)
Matthew Healy (26)
Nicholas Megalis (26)
Ezra Koenig (31)
Taran Noah Smith (31)
Kirsten Storms (31)
Taylor Kitsch (34)
Katee Sackhoff (35)
Anouk (40)
Emma Caulfield (42)
JR Bourne (45)
Patricia Arquette (47)
Biz Markie (51)
Julian Lennon (52)
Dean Norris (52)
Donita Sparks (52)
Izzy Stradlin (53)
Richard Hatch (54)
John Schneider (55)
Kane Hodder (60)
Brenda Russell (66)
Vivienne Westwood (74)

Pic: NBC

Scott Eastwood made this face at the premiere of that Nicholas Sparks movie he’s in. So now you know what Scott Eastwood looks like when he’s taking a dump while coked up as hell. Something tells me that it’s also the same face that many people who go to see his movie will make when they realize that they spent actual money on that shit – Lainey Gossip 

Prince Hot Ginge is too old and too royal for selfie-taking, thankyouverymuch – Celebitchy

Shouldn’t Teen Mom Jenelle learn to read a book before she writes one? Baby steps… – Reality Tea 

Oh, it’s just Lindsay Lohan having fun at the CDC’s annual pool party – Drunken Stepfather

Kate Upton was mad that the dried cum stain on a shag rug known as Uncle Terry released the video that made her famous – IDLYITW

The question is: Are these really pictures of Lindsay Lohan in lingerie if the pictures don’t look like they were Photoshopped by a 2-year-old with arthritis?  – The Superficial 

Dogs who fail at being dogs but win at being comedians – Hollywood Tuna 

Two things: David Archuleta still exists and he’s still a full-time resident of The Closet™ – Towleroad

Sofia Vergara’s jeans are painted on, right? – Hollywood Tuna 

The artiste who created that terrifyingly gorgeous Lucille Ball statue is getting death threats, because you know, that’s what the Internet does – Pajiba

Oh Tom, Chris Hansen would like you to have a seat over there – OMG Blog

Where is the Maya Angelou stamp with the famous quote, “Bitch better have my money,” on it, because I’m pretty sure that came from her – Jezebel

Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield are the Ross and Rachel of our time because they’re on a break – Popsugar

Some call this a fun time subway car party, I call this a nightmare come to life  – The Berry 

Octavia Spencer would like to apologize to all those fans who thought she was a bitch at her book signing by having them over for some of her chocolate pie… – ICYDK

Mischa Barton is suing her mom for stealing her money – Just Jared

There will be 17 more episodes of Arrested Development and what I need to know is how many of those will Liza Minnelli be in? – HuffPo

Pic: Getty

When Hector Elizondo in a beanie is judging you from a picture, it’s time to unbutton your suit coat and have a seat.

Vanity Fair published an investigative expose into how Brian Williams went from the golden child of NBC News to the embarrassing skid mark they’re trying to scrub out with Oxy and soda water. Brian was suspended for 6 months without pay after he got called out several times for telling several lies. The lie that started it all was the one where he claimed that during the war in Iraq in 2003, the helicopter he was riding in was hit with fire. Brian told that story a million times and was later called out by a solider who was on the actual helicopter that was hit and doesn’t remember Brian riding with him. It turns out Brian was in a different helicopter. Brian later said that he “made a mistake in recalling the events from 12 years ago.” He also reportedly committed the sin of all unforgivable sins by lying about saving puppies from a burning fire. Why bring innocent puppies into your web of lies, Brian?!

One NBC executive told Vanity Fair that they never saw Brian as a liar-mouthed liar. They just knew him as a melodramatic showman who exaggerated the truth. You know, I guess it’s kind of like when my dad told me that he was an American spy during the Vietnam War, but what he really meant is that he passed the first level in Spy Hunter at an arcade. Sort of like that. Whenever Brian would tell some grandiose tale, they’d all just say to themselves, “Oh he’s just being Brian!” But one dude not charmed by Brian was his arch rival Tom Brokaw. Tom complained to the execs at NBC News about how Brian would stretch the truth, but they weren’t hearing him. Brian was their golden child and they didn’t want to change that.

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We get it, Jessica and her husband. You are the pandas of humans.

Expect Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith to get naked and 69 on a red carpet at a premiere, because their title as Hollywood’s biggest oversharing couple has been threatened! Jessica Simpson and her husband Eric Somethingoranother are giving them some serious competition in the “Famous Hos Who Constantly Want To Let Us Know That They Are Horny For Each Other And Want To Surgically Attach Their Parts Together So They Can Always Be Fucking Since They Are That Horny For Each Other” Club.

A couple of months ago, Jessica and Eric wet queefed up a Fifty Shades of Grey-inspired photo shoot on Instagram. The pictures were about as sexy as a turnip chip and about as awkward as holding in a fart while you’re getting your salad tossed. So in other words, they really captured the true essence of Fifty Shades. And now, they’re back! Jessica Instagrammed this picture of her and Eric kissing on each other while their kids are off camera screaming, “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM, MY EYEEEEEES!”

I can’t fully hate. Thanks to her billion dollar brand, Jessica Simpson has millions coming in without doing much. So she gets to spend most of her free time getting drunk until words are hard to make and posing with her piece in desperate Instagram pictures. She is living the life!

And once again, who is taking these pictures? These thirsty messes probably have an in-house photographer. I was going to say that their in-house photographer is probably Ashlee Simpson since she needs a job, but I forgot that she’s married to a Ross now.

I believe this is what’s known as playing America on expert level. The State Journal-Register (via NYDN) says that last week, a 24-year-old dude from Illinois named Joel Burger proposed to his 23-year-old girlfriend Ashley King. Almost immediately, people started referring to it as the Burger-King wedding, because – DUH – that’s their names. But then the actual Burger King caught wind that a Burger-King wedding was happening, and they offered to foot the bill for the future Mr. and Mrs. Burger-King. A spokesperson for BK says:

“When we heard about the happy Burger-King couple, we felt an overwhelming urge to celebrate their upcoming marriage. On so many levels, it felt like fate. They found each other and their story found us.”

In case you’ve forgotten, this isn’t the first time Burger King has wanted to be a part of someone’s wedding.

A wedding paid for by Burger King is good, but what would really make this story great is if Joel Burger and Ashley King decided to have their wedding in a Burger King. It would be perfect! They could walk down the “aisle” (aka a bunch of WET FLOOR signs covered in ketchup-soaked carpet) to a choir of teenagers singing “Have It Your Way“. The ceremony could be conducted by The Burger King himself – or if he’s too busy, his wife, The Dairy Queen. The bride could staple a veil to her paper Burger King crown, and instead of exchanging wedding rings, they could use onion rings. Everybody knows the best jewelery is the kind you can eat.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the San Fernando Valley, I’m sure two recently engaged porn stars are now trying to get their wedding sponsored by In-N-Out.

Pic: SJR

Seen above wearing a headband with her name on it so her parents can easily remember which one of their 200 children she is, Jill Duggar was officially christened as the newest Duggar-brand baby machine on Easter Monday when her first child was pulled out of her body. Jill is a student midwife so she wanted to have her first of 10,000 kids at home, but since her baby was around 2 weeks overdue (Dude did not want to come out. Do you blame him?) she had to have him in a hospital. I don’t whether or not that baby is already over it or he’s saying “naaaaah” after opening his little eyes for a second and seeing his grown mom’s monogrammed headband.

People says that Jill Duggar’s husband of a year Derick Dillard, who kind of looks like a Shrinky Dink Aaron Rodgers to me, was nice enough to take a break from trying to run over cats with his sled to be with his wife in the hospital. In case you couldn’t tell by his t-shirt, they’re really into Israel and they’re so into Israel that they named their son Israel. The entire Middle East just joined together for the first time in centuries to collectively throw a look of judgement at these messes. via People

Not one year after being the first of the Duggar girls to tie the knot, Jill and husband Derick Dillard welcomed baby Israel David on April 6.

Weighing in at 9 lbs., 10 oz., Jill and Derick’s first child arrived at 11:49 p.m. Monday night.

Condolences to those of you with I names. That Josh Duggar dude has already claimed the letter M for his future child army, so I feel your pain. The Duggars have already wrapped their hands around the letter J, they’ve almost claimed the letter M and now they’re coming for  I. They’re going to make the entire English alphabet their bitch. It won’t be long before Jill Duggar births out little Ireland, Indiana, Igor, Inga, Ichabod, Isis, Icant, Intolerancia, IcantcomeupwithanymoreInames and on and on and on….

Pic: People