Why Hasn’t The Letter M Filed A Restraining Order Against The Duggars Yet?

It’s already too late for the letter J. The Duggars have overused and abused the letter J so much that now it’s stumbling against the walls of brick buildings in a back alleyway and taking sips from a dusty bottle of hobo wine in between crying about how it was so much happier before the Duggars got to it. The letter J belongs to the Duggars now. The letter J is the Duggar’s bottom bitch. And the letter M is next!

When the eldest Duggar, Josh, and his wife Anna had their first kid three years ago, they named her Mackynzie. That sent a chill through me, because it meant that they were coming after my home letter. When Anna got knocked up with their second kid, they said something like, “Oh, we don’t know if we’re going to stick with the letter M.” Those lying bitches. Anna had a son and they named him Michael. Well, 24-year-old Anna gave birth to their third child on Sunday and she and Josh tell People that soon the letter M will fully belong to them. Blehehehehehehehe!

Josh and Anna Duggar welcomed their third child, son Marcus Anthony, on Sunday, the couple tell PEOPLE exclusively.

Arriving at 11:32 a.m. and weighing in at 9 lbs., 3 oz., Marcus joins big sister Mackynzie, 3½, and brother Michael, 2 this month. The reality stars say their children are “thrilled to welcome a little brother.”

“We are so thankful that mom and baby are well! We are blessed to have our family close as we celebrate this gift from God,” the couple tell PEOPLE.

And this is the reason why the letter M and Anna’s uterus and vagina are softly crying today. They know what their future holds. Anna is turning her vagina into a baby slide and it’s only a matter of time before the Duggars own the letter M. In a few years, they’ll own the entire English alphabet. Since China is going to rule the world in about six seconds, we might as well just let the Duggars have the English alphabet and start using the Mandarin alphabet. According to this extremely accurate site, my Chinese name is , and that does have a nice ring to it.