As you well know, our world is a cruel one. So cruel that treasured jewels, like Prince, are taken from us while we are forced to endure things like the new and not-improved Rita Repulsa. And Rita Ora. However, we may be getting some more Prince material well into the future because they’ve opened up his vault!

Like any good genius, Prince apparently had a vault behind a giant spinning wheel at his Paisley Park compound in Chanhassen, Minnesota. He was the only one with the combination, so they had to drill that bitch open, reports People. Bremer Bank, who is currently the trustee of Prince’s estate, were the ones that, I imagine, ordered an Acme dynamite kit and blew the door wide open. As was confirmed earlier this week, Prince went on to the great purple lounge in the sky without leaving behind a will, so those hos needed to get in there to tabulate all of his assets.

The speculation, of course, is that there’s tons and tons of unreleased music inside the vault. They released a post death Michael Jackson album (and added Justin Timberlake on a song, how dare they?!) so I’m assuming they’ll try and do the same with Prince.

People spoke to a lawyer that has represented estates for people like Tupac and Left Eye from TLC, and he makes a good point that unreleased material is usually unreleased for a reason. The biggest reason being that it’s in no state to be released and needs a lot of work before being anywhere near what the artist would have put out. It’s really not the same without them around so posthumous releases are always iffy and smell of people whoring out their memory and legacy. Hopefully we don’t hear a new Prince song in a Moutain Dew commercial, please lord. Let’s pray whatever is in Prince’s vault is done enough that people don’t meddle with it and that we don’t have to be insulted by a crappy Prince hologram reluctantly performing with Lady Gaga at next year’s Grammys.

Pic: Wenn

It’s important that the public have people to turn to during times of change, like elections. Some choose to tune into CNN while others rely on Fox News’s zany, Gong Show style approach to “news” and “the truth“. No less important, perhaps more so, are individuals. Like past presidents or others in government. Or the national face of Florida, Aaron Carter. Here at Dlisted, we take Aaron Carter’s political views and opinions very seriously.

Michael K let you know back in March that the living scared straight ad was pretty much a lock for orange birth turd, Donald Trump. Aaron opened up to Esquire and said that despite not being a fan of many of Trump’s stances, like the border wall and banning gay marriage, he was down for him because of tax shit. Aaron filed for bankruptcy to get out of a hefty IRS back tax bill and seeing what Trump is talking about in relation to taxes and the fact Trump has been through a couple bankruptcies with his businesses made Aaron feel like he could relate to him. Well, Trump is probably crying and considering ending his campaign, and hopefully his life, because Aaron has changed his mind!

I have decided I will not be voting for Donald trump. I’ve seen a lot and to ME. it’s just something I can’t take part in. Too many reasons

— Aaron Carter (@aaroncarter) April 29, 2016

Aaron tweeted the above yesterday and thank God he did. We can all breathe easy knowing that there’s no way Trump can win now he’s lost this incredibly important voice within the presidential race. I want to know what exactly he’s referring to though by saying he’s “seen a lot”. Does this have anything to do with Kirstie Alley? Did she invite him over under the pretense of talking Trump but then at some point he realized it was just John Travolta in drag? That’s probably what happened. Regardless, let’s all take a moment to thank Aaron for swinging the pendulum away from Trump.

Pic: Wenn

Sybil!

Every time I see the name “Sybil,” I immediately think of the TV movie that scarred me as a child, where Sally Field has 16 personalities and gets brutally abused by her mom (let’s not even get into that enema and broom scene). But Sybil is also the name of a singer from New Jersey who put out a few albums in the 80s and 90s, and got her biggest hits thanks to Dionne Warwick. Sybil did a cover of “Walk On By,” which I didn’t know about until this morning. The cover of hers I know best is “Don’t Make Me Over.” It came out in 1989 and it played on the radio all the damn time. Burt Bacharach, who co-wrote the song, probably added a big addition to his house using all the money he made from Sybil’s cover.

The video is also pure late-80s and early-90s. It’s got shadow dancing, the Running Man, Hammer pants, vests and chunky dangling earrings from Charlotte Russe. In the late-80s, if you weren’t dancing in dim lighting in front of a white backdrop or behind a white scrim thing, you weren’t dancing at all.

While going through the comments under Sybil’s masterpiece on YouTube, I read a truly touching one. This song was the soundtrack for some special childhood moments:

remember my moms whooped my ass in JC Penny’s in 1989 while this was playing lol

Wikipedia says that Sybil (born name: Sybil Lynch) still performs, but she mostly works as a teacher. If Professor Sybil teaches a course on how to master the art of shadow dancing, sign me up!

Cloris Leachman (90)
Luke Friend (20)
Travis Scott (24)
Dianna Agron (30)
Gal Gadot (31)
Lilly Ghalichi (33)
Kirsten Dunst (34)
Drew Seeley (34)
Kunal Nayyar (35)
Amanda Palmer (40)
Johnny Galecki (41)
Jeff Timmons (43)
Adrian Pasdar (51)
David Miscavige (56)
Stephen Harper (57)
Lars Von Trier (60)
Michael Wright (60)
Jane Campion (62)
Bobby Vee (73)
Burt Young (76)

Pic: Pinterest

Damn that sneaky bitch Conan O’Brien. Thanks to a little skit on his show, everyone who Googles “Zac Efron putting his leaky peen on a ginger’s face” is going to be really disappointed and will have to pull up their chonies and keep searching – The Superficial 

Emma Stone as Billie Jean King looks more like somebody’s mother circa 1970s going to her weekend job at Hot Dog On A Stick, but I’m still into it – Lainey Gossip

Tobey Maguire is the new Ben Affleck, so says Star Magazine – Celebitchy

What in 90s tragedy HELL is Bella Hadid wearing? – Drunken Stepfather

A warrant was issued for Kim Richards after she skipped out on a few AA meetings. But even though her rep showed up in court and pretty much confirmed that she’s been skipping out on AA meetings, the warrant was pulled. Oh, that L.A. justice system – Reality Tea 

So I guess Amanda Peet really wanted to play Lara Croft? – Pajiba

Not even Brit Brit Spears would fap to this – Towleroad

The Porn Iguana continues to prove that she’s one of the greatest performance artistes of this generation – Jezebel

“I feel like I’m an inspiration for a lot of young girls…” is a sentence that actually came out of Kylie Jenner’s obese rubber worm lips – IDLYITW

And here’s Taylor Swift wearing coochie cutters… – Popoholic

Who cares about Lemonade! Kelly Rowland has some Claritin to peddle – OMG Blog

A PUPPEH!!!! (Oh yeah, and Bella Thorne is in the picture too) – Hollywood Tuna

FYI: Jennifer Lawrence hasn’t touched a peen in a while – HuffPo

The answer is: all of them are sex toys! – The Berry  

Superhead fucked Jay-Z once – Just jared

“Damn, I said stick it in slow...” – Zac Efron in that picture – Popsugar

People are selling rain water from the day Prince died on eBay, because why not? – SOW

Go ahead and add that picture to Tom Brady’s ever-growing gallery of one hundred percent pure hair fabulousness:

Tom Brady, Gisele Bundchen and their kids strut out of some restaurant in NYC today after having lunch and you can’t tell from these pictures, but animal control chased after him, because they thought that thing on his head was a dead Lhasa Apso.

Yes, Gisele Bundchen was at one time the highest paid model in the world and was on the cover of a bunch of magazines or whatever, but the real fashion star of the family is Tom Brady. Tom has given us a douche mop (see: picture on the left), a douche tail (see: picture in the middle), a douche hawk (see: picture on the right), and today he looked like he scalped Justin Bieber circa 2010 and threw that trick’s hair on his head. There’s also a touch of early-90s Bruce Jenner in there. You know the Salon Selectives jingle was playing in his head as he strut in front of the paparazzi. Salon glow….

With those glasses on, Tom looks like he’s starring in a really low-budget community theater production of American Gigolo: The Musical and that really is the look.

Pics: Splash, FameFlynet