The Obamas hosted their last state dinner in the White House last night and their guest of honor was Italy’s Prime Minister Matteo Renzi and his wife Agnese Landini, so they went full Italian and delivered the best of Italy! Guests were served authentic Italian dishes from the Olive Garden, entertainment was provided by world-renowned Hungarian-Italian superstar Ciccolina and both President Obama and Michelle Obama wore ensembles from celebrated Italian designer Z. Cavaricci. I made all that up. Like the White House party planners have taste!
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to reflect upon the numerous jokes and humorous lines our departing President made last night at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. It was, of course, his last one and he and his team made sure that whoever follows, will have a tough act to follow, comedy wise – including the host for the night, Larry Wilmore, but more on that later. President Barack Obama not only addressed the upcoming election and everything surrounding it, he also got in some good ones about the celebrities that were there.
Yesterday the TSA sent me a letter saying that I was put on the Do Not Fly To Florida list, and that could only mean one thing: The Invictus Games begin next week in Orlando, FL and Prince Hot Ginge will be there!
The Invictus Games were started by PHG, and they’re a Paralympic-style sporting event involving a bunch of countries. Since it’s happening in the US this year, Michelle Obama has been helping to promote it, and this morning, she tweeted a video of message and her and President Obama pretty much puffing their chests up at PHG. (Michelle Obama also showed off her impeccable teleprompter-reading skills in that video.) PHG answered back with help from THE QUEEN! THE QUEEN spit out a verbal eye roll at the Obamas’ threat and that was PHG’s cue to drop the mic. I’m jealous of the Obamas, because I wish PHG would drop his mic on me, and yes, that’s a euphemism.
— Kensington Palace (@KensingtonRoyal) April 29, 2016
I bet that clip was highly edited. I bet that in the raw footage, THE QUEEN takes off her earrings, kicks off her shoes and goes after the phone while swinging her pocketbook as PHG and her Corgis try to hold her back. Don’t come for THE QUEEN unless she sends for you!
And here’s PHG making chonies go BOOM while working a tuxedo at the BT Sports Industry Awards in London last night.
This morning, Prince Hot Ginge made a thousand British mums cleanse the ears of their children with holy water by saying the word “arse” during an interview on BBC Radio 2, and believe it or not, that’s not the biggest British royal news today. The big British royal news is that before Duchess Kate and Prince William hosted President Obama and Michelle Obama in their Ballard Designs-looking ass sitting room at Kensington Palace, they hid a plaque that they thought would offend their American guests.
The Sun (via The Mirror) says that below the painting behind Duchess Kate and Michelle Obama in the picture above is a plaque with the title on it. The title of the painting is “The Negro Page.” Not one of Duchess Kate and Prince William’s minions gave it a thought until minutes before President Obama showed up.
President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama are in England now, because before they leave office, they wanted to use their connections to meet the future King of England who will probably use his powers to take back the United States in 60 years. Prince George lives a hectic life and he somehow managed to squeeze in a quick meet-and-greet with POTUS and FLOTUS in between his pre-bedtime shiatsu massage and his goodnight ritual (aka talking on the phone with his memaw THE QUEEN to discuss his plan to eventually takeover the colonies when the crown becomes his!).
You can tell that Prince George is shaking POTUS’ hand while saying, “I’m sorry, ‘ol chap, but I must retreat to my bed chambers to continue working on my plans to make your little country all mine. Cheerio!” I know, I should be scared of Prince George’s eventual worldwide domination, but I’m too busy awww-ing over that widdle monogwammed bathwobe!
After POTUS and FLOTUS paid their respects to the future King of England (and the United States), they met up with Prince Hot Ginge for dinner at Kensington Palace. I can’t wait to see the pictures of the Obamas looking all twisted up while stumbling out of Kensington Palace at 4am after doing Fireball body shots and dancing to EDM with PHG.
This is an election year. Have you heard? There’s going to be a new elected come November and up ’til then we’re going to continue to have people yell at us and rally us and have to endure watching an orange tub of lard talk about very expensive walls. And then, finally someone new will sit in that swivel chair in the house painted white and realise what a headache it is to run a country. We’re also lucky enough to have people, well, celebrities!, to give us their supremely important opinions, thoughts and ideas on the nominees and the dog eat dog world of politics! The rising star of the Bernie Sanders campaign is without a doubt Rosario Dawson.
They all organized and they thought that they had their guy, their one person. But within two months of him becoming President, people lost faith. And to his due credit – Twitter only just had its ten-year anniversary – I don’t think he really fully appreciated the organizing that was possible that could continue after getting the seat. To say that was all obstructionism is a complete fallacy because he had presented to the House. So he lost that afterwards because he didn’t continue with the momentum that got him there.
This didn’t sit well with a number of people at the rally. One lady said, “We don’t all think alike. I don’t believe that the obstructionism is a fallacy.” And another said, “I think that a lot of those people went in with high, unrealistic expectations and were the ones who thought [Obama] dropped the ball.” Of course Rosario took to twitter after the whole thing to defend what she said and you can see it here – be warned, it’s LONG. Although super dumbed down, the take away from all this is that she thinks Obama should have tweeted more. Modern world, modern president? Is that what you mean, Rosario? I think it’s more complicated than Twitter, but good for her being out there and trying to change the world or some shit. My political views can be summed up with this:
Pics: Splash, Paris Hilton