Rachel Dolezal takes it too far this time. – boredasfuckyo

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Giraffe-ic Park – tim

Pic: Break

Limon 7!

When I was a kid, nearly every single summer, my entire family, which is aaaaalmost bigger than the Duggar army, would go to the beach in Mexico for a couple of weeks. During that vacation, I’d open my eating hole whole wide with one of those mouth openers from the dentist and shove in as many Mexican snacks and candies as possible. One of the Mexican snacks of deliciosoness I’d eat like oxygen was Limon 7! My cousins used to buy several bags of that stuff (they also used to get it from the ice cream man in their neighborhoods), and it still exists today and will probably exist until the end of time and forever.

Limon 7, which sounds like the name of a Latina girl group inspired by Beyonce’s “Lemonade,” is basically just a lemon-flavored salt. It’s seasoning, pretty much. Us chirrun would sometimes put it on fruit and chips, but we’d mostly just eat it straight out of the packet. The growns would put it on a margarita or a Corona. I’m sure some of the hardcore Limonheads even snorted and/or freebased it in the bathroom.

I haven’t had Limon 7 in forever. I may find a way to drag my hermit crab body outside and go to a Mexican grocery store so that I can buy some and freebase it like the old days.

Happy Cinco De Mayo, everyone! Limon 7 4eva!

Pic: Amazon

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Lee Daniels, the co-creator of Empire, vowed to fight the defamation lawsuit that Sean Penn threw at him, but I guess he figured it’s cheaper just to settle up and spit out a fake apology than continue to pay endless lawyer bills. Because Lee Daniels has settled with Sean Penn and now they’re good.

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No, you’re not looking at a picture of your 12-year-old cousin Jayden after he stole a beer bottle out of the recycling bin and snuck up to his room with his mom’s old iPhone to take bad boy selfies. It’s Justin Bieber, and if you can imagine, this story involves him doing something far brattier with a beer and a cellphone. And it might end up forcing him to break open his piggy bank and hand over $100,000.

TMZ says that a man named Robert Earl Morgan has accused Justin Bieber of wrecking his phone at a club in Houston, TX last month. According to the lawsuit, Justin was clearly all excited to be staying up way past his bedtime, because he was acting like a hyperactive nuisance. After he put out a cigarette on his friend’s arm, he allegedly grabbed a beer bong and tried to chug it. Unfortunately, most of the beer ended up all over his face and shirt. Robert had his phone out and was recording the whole thing, which is nice, because who wouldn’t want a video of their first beer bong? Not Justin, apparently. Robert alleges that once Bieber realized he was being filmed, he grabbed Robert’s cellphone and smashed it.

Robert wants more than just a new phone from Justin. Robert wants money, and lots of it. According to Robert, his phone was worth more than a couple hundred dollars. He claims he never got his SIM card back, and it contained pictures from his grandma’s 100th birthday and 5000 pictures from traveling. He also says it contained a bunch of business contacts, losing which have fucked him over, work-wise. He’s suing for up to $100,000.

Justin’s people  haven’t said anything about this situation. However, when asked for comment, the tiger that was forced to hang out with Justin Bieber and his dad last weekend said: “He smashed the phone? So there’s no photographic proof that it happened? God, why didn’t I think of that. I’m still too embarrassed to show my face around the other tigers.”

Pic: Instagram

In case you forgot that in a few months a human child will have to suffer through the pain of looking at the Tragic Tattoo Hall of Shame on Adam Levine’s body, he reminded everyone that he’s going to be somebody’s daddy by posting this picture on Instagram of he and his wife Behati Prinsloo getting into some belly button kissing. Behati is currently pregnant with a human, and in that picture, Adam was pregnant with In-N-Out and douche bloat. Adam added this caption.

Week 20 and I’m finally popping! #impregnanttoo

The Summer’s Eve people regularly study Adam Levine’s DNA to find ways to make their douches douchier, but I would. And when I look at that picture of him with a belly, I tell myself that, yup, I still would and then I wonder if tattooed pregnant dude porn exists. And no, I am not going to Google “tattooed pregnant dude porn.” Not today.

Pic: Instagram