I didn’t see Ghostbusters when it opened this weekend, but a lot of people I follow on Twitter did. And if their post-movie tweets are to be believed, it was the best movie in the history of movies and everyone and their granny went to see it and move over Citizen Kane. Critics already told us that the new all-lady Ghosbusters wasn’t the turd a million sad adult men with nostalgia boners were hoping it would be. But as for how many people ended up seeing it, well…let’s just say a lot more people wanted to see cartoon dogs sniff each others asses.

Variety says that Ghostbusters came in second place at this weekend’s box office behind The Secret Life of Pets. According to Box Office Mojo’s numbers, Ghosbusters made $46 million. That’s a lot, but that’s only about 30-ish percent of its budget of $144 million. There’s still next weekend, when it opens overseas (but not in China, because = ghosts).

Meanwhile, The Secret Life of Pets – a movie made by the same demons responsible for unleashing those horrible Minions on humanity – made $50.6 million. This was TSLOP‘s second weekend at the box office, which makes its US total a little more than $203 million so far. Third place went to The Legend of Tarzan with $11.1 million.

Of course, that’s not to say Ghostbusters didn’t do well. Sony considers the latest Ghostbusters a success and confirmed on Sunday that this is the “restart” of a brand relaunch. It also currently holds the top spot for the biggest opening weekend of a live-action comedy, beating Pitch Perfect 2. And I’m sure there’s a porn parody of Ghostbusters called Bustin’ Ghosts that also did very well this weekend. That is, unless it was beat out by a furry porn parody of The Secret Life of Pets called The Secret Life of Peens. In which case, don’t worry about it – there’s always next weekend!

Pic: Columbia Pictures

Warning: Sometimes when you throw babies out with bathwater, they grow up and follow you around for the rest of your life. – Shadeball

Upvote winner:

Putin on the Ritz. – pamorama_j

Pic: Izismile

The Wall’s Lifetime Music Guarantee!

Before we got our music through Spotify, or iTunes or those Russian music websites (I see you, bitch!), we had to get our music at this thing called a “music store.” Yup, in my day, we had to get in our Fred Flintstone cars and fight off dinosaurs as we drove to the “music store,” and we did it while suffering from the bubonic plague! We bled for our music. The Wall was one of those music store chains and it was mainly on the East Coast. So to us chirrun of the West, I guess The Wall was like Music Plus.

Many music stores had a “lifetime guarantee,” but it became The Wall’s trademark. The Wall made the promise that if anything made your CD un-listenable, they’d replace it. If your CD got fucked up from you snorting lines off of it, The Wall would replace it! If your sister used your CD as a mirror while she plucked her brows and she accidentally scratched it up with her tweezers, The Wall would replace it! There were probably some people out there who thought that music stores would last until eternity and that nothing would replace CDs since they were the pinnacle of music technology, so they figured that their CDs were protected forever.

But like most music stores, The Wall sadly came crumbling down, and now it’s just a giant pile of dust and broken plastic CD security cases. The Wall never lied, though. Their lifetime guarantee was real, they just didn’t specify whose lifetime. The Wall may be dead, but their blue Lifetime Music Guarantee stickers will live forever.

RIP The Wall.

Long live Lifetime Music Guarantee stickers!

(For Kathleen) Pic: Spike Eskin

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Pic: Instagram

Here I was thinking that there was no way in this life or the next that my dream of getting tag-teamed by Prince Hot Ginge, Idris Elba and Alexander Skarsgard on a bed of Double Doubles would ever come true, but it might! Because Kim Kartrashian actually told the truth about something and that means absolutely anything is possible!

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Here’s PLENTY of pics of Scott Eastwood living the life on a Miami Beach yesterday. The young Eastwood (his dad is the guy who talked to the chair at the Republican National Convention back in 2012) ran that ass along the beach, took a cooling dip in the water, and chatted up the ladies.

Scott and his people worked HARD to make Scott happen. They worked “need an internal organ” hard. It seems to have paid off. Sure, he looks like your standard swimsuit model from a Target circular, but he’s in some pretty big movies. He’s in the next Furious Fast Cars flick, and Suicide Squad, and Ben Affleck’s next directorial effort which hopefully, for Ben’s sake, doesn’t involve painful 3-hour long scenes of murky superheroes in CGI capes rueing the day they chose to fight crime until Wonder Woman shows up for 10 minutes to steal this awful movie. Although, it wasn’t that hard to steal. I fell asleep somewhere around when Jeremy Irons was obviously hating himself for taking a role in this pile of shit and woke up around the time dumb-ass Amy Adams threw the Kryptonite spear in the water and then had to go back in after it five minutes later. What an emotional arc her character went on.

Check out more pics of Scott Eastwood’s body in Miami below.

Pics: Splash