Night Crumbs
RiRi is getting the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award at the MTV VMAs on Sunday, and so she’s performing, of course. The show’s executive producer says that RiRi’s performance will be one of those “holy crap” moments in VMAs history. Since they’re all trying to out-edgy each other at the VMAs, I’m going to assume that RiRi is literally going to crap on a crucifix during her performance. – Lainey Gossip
Jessica Alba hit the stroll in a vintage Wilson’s Leather dress circa 1990 – Egotastic!
Courtney Stodden is like the living embodiment of every TLC show at this point – The Superficial
Every one of Pimp Mama Kris’ kin says the opposite of the truth, so when Kylie Jenner said that she didn’t get a tit job, she really meant that she got a tit job – Celebitchy
A Victoria’s Secret model went topless on a yacht, and Leonardo DiCatchAHo was nowhere to be seen. Weird, I know – Drunken Stepfather
Pedro Almodovar should’ve directed Brokeback Mountain – Towleroad
The dude behind Taylor Swift just killed someone, or is about to, or both – WWTDD
Clearly, one of the paps farted in front of Vanessa Hudgens – Popoholic
Teen Mom Jenelle tried to explain the timeline of the making of her latest baby – Starcasm
Richard Branson almost died – Just Jared
Today’s lot lizard chic moment is provided by Pixie Lott – Hollywood Tuna
Wheelchair Jimmy is really coochmatized – Popsugar
My teen self who listened to Loveline religiously in the 90s is weeping over what a mess Dr. Drew is now – Jezebel
I know that today is technically National Dog Day and World Elephant Day is a long time away, but who cares, just celebrate early with these GIFs – Pajiba
Weekend programming note: J. Harvey is out on Sunday (he has to go to church, obviously), so Allison and I will be covering for him.
Pic: Splash
Sarah Jessica Parker Wants Nothing To Do With EpiPen’s Crazy Price Hike
As you probably already know, Mylan Pharmaceuticals, the maker of the EpiPen, have raised the price of the life-saving allergy shot by over 400% in the U.S. and has made it impossible for many people to afford a drug that prevents a little thing called FUCKING DYING. The EpiPen cost around $57 in 2007 and today, it costs up to $600 for two, which contain $1 worth of medicine. Expect the ho stroll to get a lot more crowded, because people and parents who need that shot are going to have to sell their ass for EpiPen money.
Sarah Jessica Parker used to accept a check from Mylan to peddle EpiPen in the media, but after the news of the insane price hike exploded everywhere, she spit on her contract and announced that she’s done with them professionally.
Open Post: Hosted By A Granny Getting Her Groove On In A Waffle House Parking Lot
This video of a memaw slaying the beat and heating up a Waffle House parking lot in Georgia with her scorching hot moves was posted on Facebook by Abby Tucker all the way in the olden days of 2014, but it just started making the rounds on the internet this month. I wish I would’ve seen it sooner, because it would’ve been nice knowing that brawls and fights aren’t the only viral-worthy shit that happens at a Waffle House.
Jon Gosselin Is Sad That His Kids Don’t Want Anything To Do With Him
Kate Gosselin’s “irate Bath & BodyWorks customer” hair from the Jon & Kate Plus 8 days might be long gone, but the awkward awfulness between her and her ex-husband Jon Gosselin lives on. The latest real-life episode of Jon & Kate Still H8 Each Other happened earlier this week, and of course it’s a mess.
I Hope The Execs At MTV Like Shit Ratings, Because Taylor Swift Is Not Going To The VMAs!
“Oh God, don’t look now, but I think Alfalfa Sprout of Sunnybrook Farm is trying to look sexy for the paps again… My heart can’t take anymore secondhand embarrassment” is what that dude behind her is thinking to himself, obviously.
Taylor Swift reportedly didn’t submit herself for any MTV VMA nominations and so she didn’t get any. There’s really no reason for her to go to the VMAs this Sunday in NYC, but since she’s one to never miss out on an opportunity to trend on Twitter, I figured she’d show up with a boysenberry-scented lawsuit to throw at those diabolical villains Kanye West and Kim Kartrashian. But a source “exclusively” confirms to People that even though Taylor is in NYC right now, she’s sitting out the VMAs this year. Uh huh… I’m really sure she’s going to sit this one out.
Mark This Day: Brit Brit Spears Actually Sang Live (For A Second)
Britney Spears’ new album Glory (Hole) is out today, and to promote it, her team pushed her into a locked moving metal box and forced her to uncomfortably sit while listening to the English Jimmy Fallon yodel out her songs. Brit’s team obviously doesn’t think she’s been through enough.
If you really don’t know the words to Brit Brit’s songs, you’re not alone. It doesn’t seem like she really does either. During James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke bit on The Late Late Show, which aired last night, they went through some of her hits and his vocal cords produced actual musical notes while she just sort of mouthed along…. BUT, for a second or two, my ears did take in the sound of Brit Brit singing live! If vocal cords had brains, Brit Brit’s would think to themselves, “Heh? What’s going on?”