Hot Slut Of The Day!
Al Roker has been the full-time weatherman on Today for approximately 45 centuries (specifically 20 years), he’s related to Lenny Kravitz (Lenny Kravitz’s mom Roxie Roker was Al’s first cousin), he regularly brings the foolery to morning TV and he’s forever known as the Shart Master of the White House, but he gets today’s HSOTD stamp of approval for going in on Ryan Lochte.
Birthday Sluts
Kim Cattrall (60)
RJ Mitte (24)
Tom Maden (27)
Hayden Panettiere (27)
Paris Bennett (28)
Kasey Musgraves (28)
Usain Bolt (30)
Brody Jenner (33)
Chantelle Houghton (33)
Tarek El Moussa from Flip or Flop (35)
Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss (35)
Kelis (37)
Joe Gorga (37)
Kimberly Stewart (37)
Alicia Witt (41)
Amy Fisher (42)
Carrie-Ann Moss (49)
Jeff Stryker (54)
Loretta Devine (67)
Patty McCormack (71)
Peter Weir (72)
Jackie DeShannon (75)
Kenny Rogers (78)
Pic: Pinterest
Open Post: Hosted By A Fugitive Who Tried To Escape Capture Disguised As An Old Dude
Meet Shaun Miller. He goes by the evocative nickname of “Shizz.” Shizz Miller is an accused heroin dealer who had been sought by local police and the DEA for months since a series of raids in Hyannis, MA back in April failed to capture his ass. When police and the feds finally located him and surrounded a South Yarmouth, MA house he was holed up in, he hit upon a novel way to elude them. Dress up like a creepy old man from Jackass!
The Cape Cod Times reports that Shizz came ambling out of the house sporting a molded mask that made him look like a wizened oldster (see above). It sounds like he almost got away with it.
When police realized it was a disguise, they pulled off the mask and took him into custody, the statement says.
“It was Hollywood quality,” Barnstable police Lt. Mark Mellyn said of the mask. “It was unbelievable.”
The cops found loaded handguns and 30,000 in cash in the house. Miller is definitely NOT the shizz, and has been charged with possession and intent to distribute.
In an odd twist (not that odd), my mom lives in Yarmouth (no, really). When she wants to evade police capture, she dresses up as Daria.
Mel Gibson Increased His Ex’s Child Support
Mel Gibson’s split with his ex Oksana Grigorieva continues to demonstrate how it was the prototype for Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s divorce proceedings – very, very messy.
Back in March, Oksana asked Mel to increase his child support payments from $20,000 a month to over a $100,000. Inflation! This was followed by the courts freezing her yearly divorce settlement payout because she took her ass on the Howard Stern show in 2013 and mentioned him a few times. This violated a non-disclosure agreement. Please remember that she turned down Mel’s initial offer of 15 MILLION to keep quiet about his ragey, racist, and allegedly physically abusive ways in the hopes of acquiring more of his cash. In the end, she ended up with $250,000. Every human who ever married for money still sheds a tear when they recall that incident.
Finally, though, Oksana is getting paid. Kind of. She needs to use it for rent because it was upon agreement that she move out of Mel’s 2.4 million dollar Sherman Oaks rental house .
The Rock Is Still Scratching At Vin Diesel
Nothing is cattier than two gym bunnies yanking on each other’s weaves. Or lack thereof. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson employed his weapon of choice, Instagram, to announce that Fast 8 has wrapped production and to thank his co-stars. He left one out.
“Mission: Impossible 6” Is Stalled Until Tom Cruise Gets More Money
Petite cultist Tom Cruise feels that the millions he is surely getting paid for the sixth Mission Impossible flick aren’t cutting it. And until Tommy Girl can afford to buy Mars as well every shoe in the Bugarri collection, Mission: Impossible stans (as well as Jeremy Renner and the chick with the legs and the sniper rifle) can just deal with it. According to the Hollywood Reporter, preproduction on the film has been halted until Cruise gets his!