David Schwimmer (50)
Randy Harrison (39)
Nelly (42)
Marisol Nichols (43)
Stevie J (45)
Gervase Peterson (47)
Sean Kanan (50)
Shah Rukh Khan (51)
Lauren Velez (52)
Jenny Robertson (53)
k.d. lang (55)
Peter Mullan (57)
Maxine Nightingale (64)
Kate Linder (69)
Michael Buffer (72)
Stefanie Powers (74)
Queen Sofía of Spain (78)
Marie Antoinette (1755-1793)

Pic: Splash

Beyoncé and Jay-Z were Barbié and Ken for Halloween. Being in that box must’ve been nostalgic for Beyoncé, because it probably reminded her of when she was shipped from the Illuminati’s android factory – Lainey Gossip 

A Christmas tree skirt and a basic black dress met at a bar one night, got drunk together and then bareback boned each other in the bathroom. 9 months later, the basic black dress gave birth to the shit that Goopy Paltrow wore the other night – Celebitchy

Johnny Depp’s daughter busted out come hither poses in Elle France – Drunken Stepfather

Jessica Lowndes was some kind of slutty sundae for Halloween – (site NSFW) The Nip Slip  

If Lindsay Lohan wanted to dress up as a deranged criminal mess for Halloween, she should’ve just went as herself – The Superficial

Joanna Krupa is showing you that Hollywood is a confusing place on October 31st, because a john never knows if a chick is working or just celebrating Slutoween – IDLYITW

Okay, but did Chet Haze dress up as one of the back-up skeletons? – Pajiba

Ben Cohen is so damn rude and selfish. How dare he Skype naked and not turn on all the lights so we can get a good look at his peen situation! – OMG Blog

…Says the rich bitch who has zillions of dollars in the bank and doesn’t have to worry about bill collectors coming for him – Towleroad

It feels like Mila Kunis has been pregnant for 90 months – Popoholic

Calm down, nerds, Eleven will be back on Stranger Things – Just Jared

Since Sarah Michelle Gellar is done with the Cruel Intentions reboot, for now, she can completely focus on getting a network to bring back Ringer! – SOW

Michael BoobLays’ wife thought he was gay at first – Boy Culture 

Pic: Instagram

Amelia Earhart’s plane crashed in 1937 and ever since then, humanity has spent a lot of time and money on trying to find out exactly how and when her soul flew up into the afterworld. As many of us were told by our history teachers while we thought about what we were going to have for lunch, it has long been believed that Amelia Earhart died when her plane crashed into the Pacific Ocean. But now a team of researchers (led by Detective Courtney Love, I’m sure) have reason to believe that Amelia survived the plane crash and died later on a deserted island. Great, now an executive from ABC is going to call J.J. Abrams and say that it’s been 6 years since Lost ended and that’s plenty of time to reboot it as Lost: Amelia Earhart’s Final Days.

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To my surprise, Lena Dunham didn’t do her hipster duty by dressing up for Halloween as Eleven from Stranger Things (the bodega closest to her house must have run out of Eggos). Instead, she went topical and unloaded this election-themed ensemble onto us. We’ve already seen Katy Perry as a Primus Hillary Clinton and Orlando Bloom as Donald Trump. Lena has been campaigning hard for Hillary Clinton, so it’s not a surprise she would trick-or-treat as something election-themed. I was surprised that Lena’s election-themed Halloween costume didn’t have a strong nudity element. But maybe that’s because she realized that Katy Perry already did Naked Voter and didn’t want to steal her thunder. So she went as a “grabbed pussy.” I can already hear the “Takes one to know one!” jokes.

Lena posted a picture on Instagram of herself dressed as a punny version of Donald Trump’s favorite fame perk. She added the caption: “Happy Halloween! With love from a Grabbed Pussy #imanasshole.” I can already picture Donald Trump’s angry 2am Twitter response to Lena’s costume. “I would never grab Lena Dunham’s pussy or her asshole. Not my first choice, ever. If I were to grab anyone from the cast of Girls, it would be the blonde with the accent. What’s her name, Janina something? Terrific ass. DM me for a Tic Tac hookup, honey.”

I didn’t need to see Lena Dunham getting felt up by disembodied hands, which are waaaaay too big to be Trump’s, while she poses in a discounted Daiso cat ensemble. On the bright side, at least she didn’t go as “Billy’s Bush.”

Pic: Instagram

Don’t worry about that dude behind Coco. Coco’s minions always carry around a fainting couch because everywhere she goes, men, women, children, animals and a few inanimate objects pass out from being exposed to that much elegance, perfection and grace. So as soon as that guy began the fainting process by closing his eyes, I’m sure one of her assistants rolled a couch behind him.

Coco, whose legendary camel toe decided to pull back a little last night, sashayed into Heidi Klum’s Halloween party in NYC with her glorious titty balls trying to use all their strength to HULK SMASH through those strings. Those strings must’ve been made with Teflon, kryptonite and a blessing from God because they are holding on. Chichis looking like two big-headed toddlers trying to headbutt their way out of a playpen.

Most would say that Coco wore a slutty referee costume from Yandy, but I say that Coco wore a slutty Footlocker employee costume from Yandy. Although, Ice -T went as a prison inmate, so there’s a chance that they could’ve coordinated their costumes and Coco actually dressed up as some kind of slutty prison house aerobics instructor. Whatever the case may be, Coco still filled that party up to the top with her beauty.

Here’s more of the tricks who showed up to Heidi Klum’s Halloween party, and yes, 99% of them wore a better costume than Heidi did. Bethenny Frankel, as a Dollar General Catwoman with rabies, is the 1%.

Pics: Splash

But of course they have! What would a professional relationship agreement be without a section outlining the conversation of marriage? “Section 4.2: In the event both parties don’t totally hate each other, a formal marriage proposal will be discussed. Dream wedding optional.”

E! News says that Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk have decided to take their year-and-a-half long relationship to the next level, which in the world of celebrities is putting it out there that they’re “discussing” marriage. A source says that they’re in an “extremely happy place” and have been discussing both the options of marriage and kids.

If you just got the feeling of déjà vu, it’s probably because we’ve already heard this story about a year ago. Except this time it comes with an addendum about a vacation. The source tells E! that Bradley and Irina are reportedly planning a tropical holiday. A vacation that could end with a ring on that finger, right source? But it could also end with pictures of Bradley eye-shanking Irina after she returns from the swim-up bar with a margarita (“OhMyGod did I or did I not ask for a Mai Tai“).

If Bradley and Irina’s “discussions” of marriage materialize into the real thing, this will be Irina’s first marriage and Bradley’s second. Bradley Cooper was married for four months to Jennifer Esposito. I’m sure Jennifer would be more than willing to give Irina some advice on being the next “Mrs. Master Manipulator.”

Pic: Splash