The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS For October 21st!
“You must be this wide to ride the attraction” – Richbitch
Upvote winner:
The ring around Uranus. – pamorama_j
Pic: Break.com
Hot Slut Of The Day!
Rebeca Arthur!
Rebeca Arthur’s IMDB page tells me that she hasn’t done any acting stuff since 2000, and that surprised me for a second, because I thought she had been regularly working since the 1980s. Rebeca Arthur, seen above giving you “humanized Eleanor from The Chipettes” in a glamour shot from the 80s, is one of those actresses from who I think I see everywhere. “Wait, is that Balki’s wife playing Party Guest #3 in this episode of Modern Family?” “Wait, is that Balki’s wife playing Linda Lovelace in this movie? Oh no, that’s just Amanda Seyfried.”
Rebeca popped up in movies (like Scrooged and Get Shorty) and TV shows (like television masterpiece The Charmings) through the 80s and 90s, but of course, she’s best known for playing Mary Anne, Balki’s hot bimbo flight attendant girlfriend (and later wife and mother of his baby) on Perfect Strangers for 6 seasons. Mary Anne and Balki’s love bloomed in the second season, and at the end of Perfect Strangers’ final season, she gave birth to a baby boy they named Robespierre-Boinki. Knowing that Balki and Mary Anne’s baby is not a real person, and therefore a human with the fucked-up name of Robespierre-Boinki Bartokomous doesn’t exist in real-life, has made this already-depressing Monday more depressing.
Rebeca Arthur’s name came up this weekend, because my friend and I were bored and fantasy casted our fantasy Lifetime movie about the Trump chicks on IM. My friend said that Balki’s wife should play Tiffany Trump. Rebeca Arthur is about 30 years older than Tiffany Trump, but I didn’t argue with him, because Balki’s wife could do it and she definitely needs a comeback!
Pic: Fanpop
Birthday Sluts
Drake (30)
PewDiePie (27)
Shenae Grimes (27)
Charlie White (29)
Tim Pocock (30)
Wayne Rooney (31)
Adrienne Bailon (33)
Katie McGrath (33)
VV Brown (33)
Tila Tequila (35)
Casey Wilson (36)
Zac Posen (36)
Monica (36)
Ben Gillies (37)
Amy Allen (40)
Korie Robertson (43)
Caprice Bourret (45)
Raul Esparza (46)
Mary Bono (55)
B.D. Wong (56)
Kevin Kline (69)
F. Murray Abraham (77)
Bill Wyman (80)
Pic: Instagram
Open Post: Hosted By Lady Gaga Wearing Whatever That Is
For a second there, I thought “rockabilly trailer tramp with some Nashville sequins and a little gender mystery thrown in” was the designated look that Lady Gaga and her team slaved over for months to accompany the press blitz for her new album dropping.
Khloe And Lamar’s Divorce Deal Has Been Finalized
A beautiful love story has reached its bittersweet ending. I’m talking about Khloe Kardashian and all of the press she could wring from her Lamar Odom’s alleged drug problems. Koven kween Kris Jenner, perhaps feeling generous after successfully burning down Dennis Hof’s house with her mind (according to Dennis), must have given the OK for daughter Khloe and Lamar to sign off on their divorce. Hell, the show might not come back (yeah right) so why not take the opportunity to trim the cast a bit? Less supporting characters, the more money for her witchmaster general wardrobe.
TMZ reports that they came to an agreement on their mutual property and signed legal documents on Friday. All they have to do now is wait for the judge to sign on it (which will probably happen in December) and they’re free! Lamar is free to hopefully realize that he doesn’t have to mess around with the drugs and alcohol anymore to numb himself from the pain of being a Kardashian plot device. Khloe is free to find the next poor bastard to snare in the family’s tentacles (and snack upon the livestock of her choosing).
Khloe first filed for divorce in 2013 but took her time, because a “reality” show needs scripts and a troubled marriage can almost always provide those season finale ratings. She dropped the divorce last year when Lamar went belly-up from drugs in a whorehouse in Nevada. She later re-filed, which brings us here.
Hopefully Kris Humphries (remember him?) is around after this to help big brother Lamar and get him to join a “Tall Guy Survivors Of The Kardashian Koven” group.
Pic: Splash
“Nils Sjoberg” Performed The Song She Wrote For Calvin Harris
Taylor Swift performed at the Formula 1 United States Grand Prix in Austin, Texas last night. Because it wouldn’t be serpentine without a little shade, Vulture reports that she performed “This Is What You Came For” for the first time. That’s the song she wrote for her ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris and Rihanna under a pseudonym “Nils Sjoberg” and then outed herself as her actually having written it after they broke up. Because she must speak her truth and create as much dramz as possible!