Duchess Meghan Went Rogue With Her Nail Color

December 11, 2018 / Posted by:

Meghan Markle may only be a lowly Duchess, but she’s The Queen of fucking shit up. Meghan gave old Liz the vapors last night when she made an unannounced appearance at the British Fashion Awards at Royal Albert Hall wearing black nail polish, a studded leather jacket, vampire fangs, and a ripped Misfits t-shirt 3 sizes too big. That is probably what old Liz saw. The rest of us just saw the black nail polish and a black Givenchy gown.

People reports that Meghan “strayed away from the aesthetic standard of delicate, translucent nail shades previously set by the Queen and Kate Middleton” and opted instead to turn to the dark side and paint her nails black to coordinate with her dress, stopping just short of performing a live animal sacrifice right there on stage at the RAH.

Though it’s an unofficial rule, it is widely known that the Queen finds colorful nail polish distracting. Bright hues are not banned for the royals, but nude colors are a more practical choice for official engagements. Although Kate does on occasion glam up her toes with a bright red pedicure on her feet, she has yet to be seen in public with a daring bright manicure.

Here’s what Meghan looked like at the awards. She was there to honor Clare Waight Keller, the artistic director of Givenchy and designer of Meghan’s wedding gown, with the British Womenswear Designer of the Year award.

Who knew Meghan was such a ball hog! She’s gripping that bump like [insert appropriate sportsball player here] is about to dunk a foul in her end-zone. Now, I’m looking closely at that manicure and it actually looks to me like the polish is a very dark, deep maroon color, not black. Which if true, could really blow things wide open for The Royals. It’s neither bright, colorful or distracting. Meghs knows how to bend the rules without breaking them. That’s what makes her so insidious. Inch by inch, manicure by manicure, the standards will be eroded away until 40 years from now, The Royals will be lucky if the King or Queen will even bother getting out of their P.J.’s at breakfast.

I’m less concerned with Meghan’s nails than I am about this flagrant display of Satanic trickery.

Somebody please, for the love of The Crown, send an exorcist to Buckingham Palace!

Pic: Getty

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