At the 2001 Oscars, Björk laid a swan egg on the red carpet. The baby swan in that egg is now grown up and looks like this. Feel old yet?
The TV network reboot of Brangelina’s shit show of a custody fight was brought to us by Vanessa Marcil (of General Hospital and Beverly Hills, 90210) a couple of days ago when she publicly dragged Brian Austin Green, the father of her 16-year-old son Kassius, for putting her through custody battle hell and for not spending any time with their son in 5 years. Vanessa painted BAG and his wife Megan Fox as diabolical demons who spent 8+ years trying to get full custody of Kassius (with Vanessa paying child support). When their plan failed for good 5 years ago, BAG cut off Kassius and they’ve only seen each other in passing. That’s what Vanessa claimed. Some of us played Oprah’s SoWhatIsTheTruth.GIF in our brains over Vanessa’s claims, because BAG and Kassius were photographed together in Mexico last year, and BAG has posted about Kassius on his Instagram. But Vanessa is now here to tell us that yes, BAG and Kassius were in Mexico at the same time, but it was some sponsored shit, and yes, BAG has been to a school play, but other than that, his relationship with his son is as dead as the feeling in Megan Fox’s current face.
My Hot Tip For Hot Dudes: Keep it shut! That’s it, it really is that simple. Fewer clothes, fewerer words. You would have thought that Michael B. Jordan would have learned this lesson by now after ruining a perfectly good fantasy about me, him, Lupita and Martin Freeman (don’t you dare judge me) tied up together in a Wakandan Knot by speaking out on separate rumors that he was gay and that he and Lupita Nyong’o were dating. Now he’s making things weird again by re-addressing the rumors that he only dates white women, when all I really care about is that he’s staying hydrated and not skipping glutes day.
In what I imagine is either a quest to get picked as the go-to stock picture for frames at the local Hallmark shop or another way to show they’re #justlikeus, Prince Charles& Co. released two family photos to coincide with his 70thbirthday today. Apparently, THE QUEEN did not get the invitation to the party!
For the past ten years, Gwyneth Paltrow has run a multi-million dollar business, and she’s clearly got a formula that works: find any existing product, get creative with the medical claims, then watch gullible rich ladies spend too much money on it. You’d think investors would be banging down her door to get in on the action. But according to Gywneth, she’s practically had to beg for Goop.com investments, and it’s all because she’s famous.
Suddenly, the guard moving the TV remote in the prison day room is the least of Bill Cosby’s worries. Deadline reports that an L.A. Superior Court judge has just granted a woman named Judy Huth a trial date of October 17, 2019 for her civil suit against Bill, accusing him of sexually assaulting her at the Playboy Mansion when she was 15. That means he’s being accused of child sexual assault, which is not going help his case for getting double Jell-Os on Wednesdays.