Treat yourself to an extra golf game this weekend, Donald Trump! You’re no longer the worst thing to happen to women. If you can believe fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg, we’ll all need to don our pink pussy hats and go march in front of Pfizer’s headquarters for Women’s March 2.0 because that blue pill of fun known as Viagra is ruining women one old geezer boner at a time! And don’t even get her started on if it’s an erection lasting longer than four hours! Continue reading
Meryl Streep better park her ass for this year’s Oscar race because Jennifer Lopez took off that scarecrow wig she wears as a cop on NBC and got back into her bread and butter role of rags-to-riches lady in a rom-com. If your afternoon has been missing a little bit of 2003, have no fear! The trailer for Second Act, a movie starring Jen and Leah Remini (oh, yeah, and Vanessa Hudgens), dropped earlier.
The producers of Days of Our Lives, Young and the Restless, and whatever other soap opera is still on the air should really hire Duchess Meghan’s melodramatic father Thomas Markle to write for them, because he’s bringing the twists, turns and theatrical drama. Thomas was supposed to walk Meghan down the aisle, but when it came out that he staged embarrassing pap pics, he had a heart attack and eventually pulled out of the wedding completely because he needed to have surgery.
One of Meghan’s unnamed friends is now telling The Daily Mail that Thomas’ heart attack and surgery was about as fake as Prince Hot Ginge’s denial that he’s really in love with an old skinny fat blogger from California. The friend claims Thomas faked a heart attack to get sympathy from the public and to also get out of going to the wedding. The creators of The Crown better send Thomas his favorite thing, a stack of cash, as a thank you for giving them some serious ESCANDALOSONESS for season 8.
RadarOnline is reporting that Robert Pattinson–who even when he’s 70-years-old will be referred to as: “That Guy From Twilight”–may be the latest famous rich man who got his name written down in Sienna’s list of pieces. Previously she’s been linked to such celebrity types as: Brad Pitt, Jude Law (infamously), Balthazar Getty and Daniel Craig. But honestly, how could you NOT fuck Daniel Craig? I’m witchu on that one Sienna!
The talk about Miley Cyrus’ wedding to Liam Hemsworth, has taken so many sharp turns, every new story should come with an Amazon link to a reasonably-priced neck brace. After three years apart, they hooked back up and got re-engaged, then denied they were engaged, then admitted they kind of were, then they weren’t getting married. The last rumor was that Miley and Liam got married in Australia after Christmas. A source that recently spoke to OK! Australia (via The Daily Mail) claims that not only are they not married, they’re calling things off all together.
Looks like Tom Cruise‘s “No Dating For Five Years” clause in his divorce from Katie Holmes is really over. Like REALLY over. I mean we got Katie’s rep to give a seven-word statement on the matter last month and now we have pictures of them together? Fuck me, my head is spinning from all this BREAKING NEWS in the world of FoxHol. Continue reading