Well guys, I’m devastated to report that everything we thought we knew about Kylie Jenner was a lie. While the information I’m about to impart to you may SHOCK YOU TO YOUR CORE, if we are to move forward together, it is important that we do so with clear-headed knowledge and the unvarnished truth. Here we go. Kylie Jenner is not, I repeat not, a billionaire. Don’t take my repetition to mean she’s not not a billionaire like Lana Del Rey is not not a feminist. Kylie is not not not a billionaire. According to Forbes, the very outlet responsible for fabricating this appalling fallacy, Kylie tricked them! I’ll give you a moment to recover before we move forward into uncharted territory.
The Duck Dynasty family (remember them?) is back in the news for reasons other than being homophobic. They’ve got a new member. But this isn’t a newborn baby. It’s a 45-year-old woman. It seems that Duck Commander, Phil Robertson, had a secret baby with a woman he cheated on his wife with and never knew about it. So it seems cheaters who don’t know about their children for 45 years are totally cool in Jesus’ eyes but the gays will absolutely go to Hell.
CNN Reporter Omar Jimenez And Crew Were Arrested Live On Air While Covering The George Floyd Protests
Early this morning in Minneapolis, CNN reporter Omar Jimenez, producer Bill Kirkos, and photojournalist Leonel Mendez were all put into handcuffs by police and shuffled away while covering the protests over the police killing of George Floyd. Omar and crew were doing their job of reporting the damn news when Minnesota State Police officers approached them. After police arrested one woman, they approached Omar and crew, and he let them know that they’re live on-air and will move wherever police want them to move. But police wanted to move them into a jail cell instead, and as anchors in CNN’s studio brain-burped out a river of WTFs, Omar was put into handcuffs while asking why he was being arrested. Police never gave him a reason. Omar was then taken away before police collected Bill and Leonel too.
All three were later released and police later claimed they had no idea they were members of the media. Ummm, errrr, I know that my vision is worse than a geriatric bat on bootleg poppers but even I can clearly see Omar holding a giant mic, standing in front of a camera, and wearing press credentials. Did police think they were playing reporter and crew for fun at 5 in the fucking morning? It’s way too early for that shit.
Ever since Harvey Weinstein was convicted of rape back in March, he’s been holed up in his prison cell in his home for the next 23 years, Wende Correctional in Upstate New York. The city of Los Angeles is trying to arrange a little out-of-state trip for Harvey to deal with additional sex crime charges, but the start date of that trip has been postponed due to COVID-19.
Whenever Harvey makes it to Los Angeles, he can rest assured that things will be an even bigger headache for him when he gets back to New York state. Because Deadline is reporting that Harvey has been hit with a lawsuit filed recently in New York by four women, all accusing Harvey of assault and rape. And one of those victims was underage when her alleged rape happened.
The only topic where Madonna has shown more self-awareness and grace than COVID-19 is race. After the death of George Floyd triggered intense protests in America, especially in Minneapolis where it happened, Madonna heard the plight of black Americans and had to speak up. Not only did she share the horrifying 10-minute long video showing the police officer with his knee on George’s back as he pleads for air, she called for gun control and justice for George Floyd.
She could have stopped there. But did she? Madonna decided to end her tribute to police brutality and racism by then posting a video of her 14-year-old son David Banda dancing because… dancing cures everything?
Gwyneth Alden from Loving!
When soap operas ruled daytime (aka the true golden era of television), I was strictly an ABC soap operas bitch, and specifically, a One Life to Live bitch. Loving ran from 1983 to 1995 and aired before All My Children, which aired before One Life to Live, so I didn’t watch much of it. But today is the birthday of forever friend to Dlisted, Lahoma (who actually created Hot Slut of the Day back in 2005), and he asked me to make Gwyneth Alden HSOTD. And yes, that’s Gwyneth Alden above (on an extremely elegant princess phone) looking like Rachel Bloom after getting a Glamour Shots makeover in the 1980s. In other words, glamour personified.