ScarJo and French popcorn dude may be at the beginning of an ugly custody fight. Robin Thicke and Paula Patton are in the middle of an ugly custody fight. And Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have taken their ugly custody fight behind closed doors. So since 2017 is the year of ugly custody fights, the Kartrashians are trying to get a piece of that “trend.” People says that Blac Chyna is planning to fight Rob Kartrashian for full custody of their 3-month-old daughter Dream Renee. They both obviously really care about the welfare of their child, and by that I mean they care about the welfare of their bank accounts and fame. It seems like no one really cares about the Kartrashians anymore, so Pimp Mama Kris has gotta do something to get back on top of the fame whore ladder. It’s either a messy custody battle, or sacrifice one of their own so that Lucifer can extend their relevancy. “Why is everyone looking at me?” – Scott
The 1975 is an English band whose albums I’ve downloaded, because my 14-year-old first cousin once removed told me that all of her friends love them and I still give in to peer pressure even when the person pressuring me is not my peer. (Although, technically I have the maturity of a 14-year-old. No offense to 14-year-olds.) But anyway, The 1975 (seen above looking like Manchester’s least popular Prince tribute band) were at the Brit Awards in London last night and in between performing and accepting the award for Best British Group, two of its members got “caught” smoking what looks like the good shit under the table. “Watch out, we got a badass over here,” said Keith Richards before fondly remembering the first time he smoked weed in a small space. It was his mother’s womb and it feels like it was yesterday.
Surprisingly, this situation doesn’t involve Kim Kardashian responding to yesterday’s news that Beyonce is pregnant with twins by speed-dialing TMZ and letting them know a “source” thinks she might be pregnant with triplets. This situation with Kim actually happened two days ago.
Drake was only 14 when J.Lo came out, so this would be where I should forgive him for not understanding the message Jennifer Lopez was trying to convey in the song Love Don’t Cost a Thing. But since this thing between Drake and Jennifer Lopez probably isn’t love, then $100,000 on a necklace might actually be in line with the cost breakdown outlined in their relationship agreement.
E! News says that Drake walked into a Tiffany store last week and spent $100,000 on a platinum and diamond Tiffany Victoria necklace (probably this one). I guess this news is supposed to help prove that Drake is head-over-wheels in love with JLo. Regardless of the legitimacy of their relationship, I wouldn’t say he threw his money away on that necklace. He’ll have to check with his accountant, but I think he might be able to write that necklace off as a business expense if he lists it as a thank-you gift to a co-worker.
E! doesn’t say how Drake gave the necklace to Jennifer Lopez, which is weird, because you’d think at least one of their publicists would have made up a cute story to go along with it. Like maybe Drake walked JLo into a room with his hands over her eyes, and when he removed them, she was face to face with her new $100,000 necklace. And when Drake put the necklace on her, he cooed “Don’t be fooled by these rocks that you got. I still, I still love you a lot.” Or something like that.
Feel free to send all your hospital bills to me, as I’d hate knowing I’m the reason you busted your back when you fell off your chair in disbelief at the thought of Jennifer Lopez faking a relationship for press.
Jennifer Lopez and Drake reportedly got together sometime in December after working on a music project together, and they’ve been dropping a lot of very obvious hints that they’re supposedly a thing now. They eventually drove into too much territory by being named Prom King and Queen. Well, their love might not be as real and true as it appears. Page Six has been speaking to some people about Drake and JLo, and according to insiders, they might be faking it for publicity.
Well, you know what they say: ask and ye shall receive. Drake and Jennifer Lopez finally did something. It’s beyond corny and will make you question how desperate is too desperate, but it’s something! UsWeekly says that Drake and Jennifer Lopez attended a winter wonderland-themed “prom” in Los Angeles last night. A prom that I’m sure wasn’t thrown together hastily at the last minute with discount decorations from Dollar Tree and located in an empty banquet hall located beside the office of one of their publicists. Nope, that’s definitely not what this is.