Category: Henry Cavill

Gal Gadot Probably Didn’t Make 46 Times Less Than Henry Cavill For “Wonder Woman” 

June 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Making the rounds today is a story that makes it sound like Wonder Woman’s greatest foe, besides metal poisoning of the nipples from wearing that corset top, is the gender wage gap! Elle posted a story yesterday claiming that Gal Gadot got paid $300,000 for her first Wonder Woman movie while Henry Cavill got $14 million for his first Superman movie, Man of Steel. Gal wasn’t really known before getting Wonder Woman and the same goes for Henry and Superman, so that bit of information made people schedule a code 10 emergency appointment at Lens Crafters since they thought their eyes were fucked up. The gender wage gap is real, but it turns out that this story is not.

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Open Post: Hosted By Henry Cavill In Christopher Reeve’s Superman Suit

April 9, 2017 / Posted by:

This one looks way better. You can work all the airbrushed UnderArmour you want, but nothing beats a good pair of comic book pantyhose.

DC Extended Universe director, Zach Snyder, (he did Man of Steel, Superman v. Batman: Dawn Of Failure, and the upcoming Justice League) posted this pic of our current Superman, Henry Cavill, in the classic Superman’s old outfit. That’s the one the dearly departed Christopher Reeve wore when HE was (the one true) Superman.

Zach revealed (via iO9) that Henry wore that costume during his first screen test. He should wear this one in the movies going forward. Not only as a tribute to Christopher, but because it might bring back Ursa from Superman II. Sarah Douglas played my favorite super-villainess of all time in that movie. She was so wonderfully evil in that movie that she kicks astronauts into deep space and fries snakes, and made it a point to beat misogynist hillbillies at arm-wrestling. Her finest moment, though, is when she picked up a manhole cover to fling at Superman but first called out “SSsssuupppeeerrmmmaaaaaaaaaaaannn!” (at the :50 mark). It’s the most exquisite line-reading in cinematic history. Zach Snyder should resurrect Ursa for one of those dour-ass movies. She’d bring the campy evil.

Pic: Zach Snyder

Henry Cavill Will Play Tom Cruise’s Right-Hand Man In The Next “Mission: Impossible” Movie

March 17, 2017 / Posted by:

Too many handjob jokes, too little time.

Star of gay rumors Jeremy Renner has done two Mission: Impossible movies with Tom Cruise, and now it’s fellow star of gay rumors Henry Canvill’s turn to hear Tommy snap at him, “Bitch, you better slouch and bend those knees, because these heels can’t grow on their own.” Production on Mission: Impossible 6 was reportedly on hold, because Tommy wanted more points in his back-end (don’t we all, Tommy?) or something. Well, it looks like Tommy’s back-end is going to get those points he wanted, because production is back on and director Christopher McQuarrie is adding to the cast.

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The 2017 Razzie Nominations Are Out

January 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Tomorrow we find out if all the hard work and hand jobs Ryan Reynolds has been giving have paid off when the Oscar nominations are announced. But today we find out whose lazy hand job of a performance was rewarded with a 2017 Razzie nomination

There was a nominations sweep at this year’s Razzies. Zoolander 2 got 9 nominations, followed closely behind by Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice with 8. Sorry, 1997’s Batman and Robin, it looks like you’re still the Batman movie with the most Razzie nominations. But don’t worry, there’s a chance that Batman movie written and directed by Ben Affleck could happen.

Jared Leto’s award dreams came true in the most Twilight Zone-y of ways. He’s not going to get the Oscar nomination he was no doubt sure he was going to get, but he did get a Worst Supporting Actor Razzie for Suicide Squad. And Julia Roberts’ performance as Lady Wearing a Bad Wig in Mother’s Day earned her a Worst Actress nomination. That wig didn’t get a Worst Supporting Actor nomination, because of course it didn’t; that wig worked its ass off and supported her like a load-bearing beam.

And Ben Affleck received his 10th Razzie nomination today. The big one-zero! He should go out and celebrate tonight for reaching a career milestone. Maybe his BFF Tom Brady will treat Ben to a steamed green bean and unseasoned fish dinner at his house.

The list of nominees is after the cut.

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