R. Kelly Was Denied Release From Prison Over Coronavirus

With coronavirus being a particular threat to the health of prison inmates due to the close quarters and sanitary issues, R. Kelly has been worried about catching it himself (“Don’t worry, I ain’t touching your ass” – coronavirus). Sure, he’s tried social distancing but that’s hard to do in a cell block. R. Kelly played the coronavirus card once to try to get out of jail and he was denied. Then he tried again, arguing that corona has actually reached the jail he’s in. That didn’t work either because a judge denied him again.

R. Kelly is facing charges in three different states for allegations of being a child sex monster. His legal team has pleaded with the judge to let him out of jail because of coronavirus, claiming that he’s not a threat to society despite all of the evidence proving fucking otherwise. R. Kelly’s lawyers screamed that he’s not a flight risk! He’s not a danger! He owes so much money to the IRS that he wouldn’t dream of skipping town! A judge slapped away all those reasons.

TMZ says that Judge Anne Donnelly acknowledged that it’s unfortunate that The Metropolitan Correctional Center in Chicago has been hit with corona, but that didn’t move her to let R. Kelly loose. Judge Donnelly said there was not enough evidence that proves he’s “uniquely at risk” to the virus. Judge Donnelly wrote in her decision that R. Kelly claiming he isn’t a flight risk because he showed up to court means nothing since he now faces worse charges including tampering with witnesses. Judge Donnelly is afraid that if she lets R. Kelly out, he’ll try to talk to potential witnesses, and law enforcement doesn’t need to deal with that during all this pandemic fuckery.

“They cannot ensure that a defendant with a history, incentive and opportunity to interfere with potential witnesses will not do so.”

It looks like American society is a little bit safer with only one child predator out on house arrest. And it also looks like it’s time for R. Kelly’s lawyers to stop trying to get him out of jail because of coronavirus and start coming up with an explanation for all those child sex tapes we’ve been hearing about. Or explaining how he married 15-year-old Aaliyah without bribing anyone. Or maybe thinking about how he’s gonna pay back that $2 million he owes the IRS. Is that bail-money guardian angel still feeling charitable, I wonder?

Pic: Instagram