Brittany Gatica Littleton is a vegan influencer with over 30,000 followers. She also co-owns Sugar Taco, a vegan restaurant in Los Angeles, and owns Little Love Rescue, an animal rehab. Brittany is pissing people off, as influencers do, and not because she faked a dramatic accident to shill water or threatened the Hamptons with coronavirus. Brittany has been accused of refusing to return a homeless man’s dog because of the pooch’s health problems. But Brittany claims that she didn’t “steal” the dog and is just trying to help out a down-and-out pooch in need.
If I had gone with the headline: “Andy Cohen throws an angry bitch out of his house” you might think I was talking about one of the frozen-faced trophy mannequins in his dingy Housewives harem. Instead, I’m talking about Wacha, the adorable beagle-foxhound Andy has owned for the past 7 years. That’s right, despite falling in love with the pooch after seeing his photo on a pet adoption website back in 2013, Andy has sent Wacha to live in a better place––I mean, 7 years in captivity with Andy Cohen? I’m surprised the dog lasted 7 minutes!
Who didn’t see this coming? Former Teen Mom, Jenelle Evans, has now filed a restraining order against her estranged husband, David Eason. Jenelle wants to keep her distance and I’m sure it has to do with him being a dog-murdering, emotional wackjob with a shitton of weapons and ammunition (and poison darts) who gets visited by the government for threats against politicians. Just a hunch. Jenelle is also broke because of him.
So Jenelle went and filed a restraining order against David and surprise, they gave it to her. And David is claiming that someone stole one of his dogs. Oh no! Are they coming back for the other?!
Teen Mom really cut and run at the right time because here’s a long interview with People, Jenelle Evans and David Eason–which I can only call an effort to “come out” about him killing Nugget. Which they both had previously denied…. to the police, reportedly. So the happy ending in all of this may be David and Jenelle getting handcuffed for lying to the police! But until then….
You think Lassie is talented? Pft. Lassie is cancelled! Because Susan Sarandon‘s dog is the new dog to hit the stroll with a cultural bang! Oh you can save puppies from fires? Susan’s dog smells racism. Top. That. Bitch.
We had to learn “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” back in middle school typing class, but Australia is about to teach its typers-to-be “The lazy dog is just frontin’ cuz his owner is trying to cut playtime short!” 9 News down in Aussie-land caught a dog playing dead for a minute because its owner was trying to leave the park, and Fido wasn’t quite done. Lying there like a corpse can get you anything you desire! (“Don’t I know!” –Melania Trump)
The owner tries to extend its paw to get it to move, but that pooch is showing about as much life as an Olsen twin at Fashion Week. It isn’t until when the owner derobes the canine (aka takes off its collar) that it rises from the dead and prances out like an emancipated Duggar offspring to the cheers and cries of other parkgoers. That pup better realize how lucky he is to have such a nice parent! Back in my day, Mama C.J. would play the “1…2…2 ½ …” game when I would demand five more minutes in the ball pit at McDonalds. If she ever got to 2 ¾ , I knew there was going to be a McHell to pay!