Category: Sean Penn
Dakota Johnson Chummed It Up With Gwyneth Paltrow At Her 30th Birthday Party
I just hate it when wealth, fame, and nepotism are wasted on the bland and boring. Dakota Johnson recently celebrated her 30th birthday with a big party in Malibu over the weekend. If my mom and dad were fucking icons, and I was dating a rock/popstar, even if it was Chris Martin, I’d sure as hell be having a legendary party and the highlight wouldn’t be a birthday cake in the shape of my dog with a couple of sparklers sticking out of it. The highlight would be a mound of coke in the shape of my dog, from which my actual dog jumps out holding sparklers. What Malibu baker is going to say no to Don Johnson’s daughter?! But that’s not how Dakota rolls. According to People, Dakota’s party involved a lot of hugging and chatting with her boyfriend’s ex-wife Gwyneth Paltrow. And somebody invited Sean Penn. Yuck!
Sean Penn Reads Mean Tweets On “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”
You know that Celebrities Reading Mean Tweets segment on Jimmy Kimmel‘s Jimmy Kimmel Live? We all love it, we all enjoy it; it’s cute and fun to watch people with way too much power, money, beauty and fame read awful things being said about themselves–which were likely previously approved by their publicists as not “too mean”. It’s called leveling-the-playing-field-not-at-all-but-sort-of. Well, Sean Penn didn’t want to just be one of several celebrities reading one or two mean comments in a montage. He wanted the full attention of the hatred. And Jimmy Kimmel obliged.
The Older Men And The Sea: Sean Penn And Leonardo DiCaprio Took A Couple’s Yacht Trip With Their Girlfriends
The good news is that Leonardo DiCaprio has loosened the age restrictions on the SS Pussy Hound. Guests over the age of 25 are now allowed to frolic and cavort on the yacht as it sails the Mediterranean. The bad news is that the more lenient age requirements are apparently only extended to gentlemen and/or the daughters of other famous actors. That’s how The Daily Mail has pictures of 59-year-old Sean Peen (typo and it stays) and his girlfriend Leila George, who is an old and weathered 27, joining Leo, 44, and his girlfriend, 22-year-old Camila Morrone, on a Corsican yachting holiday. But no need to worry that standards are slipping, Leila’s dad is Vincent D’onofrio (allowed on the boat under current restrictions) and her mom is Greta Scacchi (sadly, not allowed, even though she’s a known taboo breaker who married her first cousin), so she qualifies, doubly, under the nepotism clause.
Sean Penn Wrote An Essay In Defense Of Bradley Cooper Not Getting A Best Director Oscar Nom
#MeToo scholar Sean Penn has outed himself as a huge A Star Is Born (2018) stan. Judging by his op-ed protesting the embarrassed Bradley Cooper not being nominated for Best Director at the Oscars, he’s seen this movie 17 times so far and it’s made him believe in love again. In an op-ed piece for Deadline, Sean says that Cooper has a problem and that problem is that he made “the most successful contemporary love story of all time.” Damn. That’s some film love. That shit should be a quote on the poster with a profile picture of Sean done up as one of Lady Gaga’s Little Monsters.
More About That “Charlize Theron And Brad Pitt Are A Thing” Thing
Ain’t nobody got time to air side pieces during a normal divorce proceeding because that just screams, “Discretionary cash! Gimme half!”
There were tabloid murmurs that Brad Pitt and Charlize Theron were casually doing it after meeting on the set of a shoot for Breitling watches (see: above) six months ago. But some people took that with a grain of salt since Brad is friends with Charlize’s ex, Sean Penn. Brad seems lucid enough these days to know so much as a sneeze in front of Sean can set him off, so I’d imagine he’d steer clear of boinking the lady Sean used to be boinking. Alas, we’re now at an impasse: some people say they’re definitely NOT a thing while others say they definitely ARE – but don’t want to make a deal out of it until he and Angelina Jolie are no longer legally bound.
Sean Penn Thought It’d Be A Good Idea To Mansplain #MeToo
For some reason (the reason probably being it’s Sean Penn we’re talking about), Sean Penn decided to give his thoughts on #MeToo and tell Natalie Morales he didn’t think women were advancing in TV production because of it. As you might imagine, that was met with about 50 heaping servings of “Sure, Jan.”