Simon Pegg Says He Doesn’t Talk About Scientology With Tom Cruise

Since I’m a fan of Simon Pegg…’s movies (well, the ones directed by Edgar Wright), I’ve done my very best to ignore the fact that he’s friends with Tom Cruise. Unfortunately, it’s Mission: Impossible for Simon to shut the fuck up about his cult leader bestie. Last year, Simon did an interview where he said Tom never accepts responsibility for his mistakes. After the comments went viral, he backtracked and said we all shoulda known he was joking. Over the weekend, Yahoo! reported that, during an interview on BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs, Simon admitted he actively avoids talking to Tom about Scientology, cuz, if he did, “it would be me abusing my privileged access that I get to him.” So… and lemme really try to wrap my head around this one… Simon is saying that if he brings up Scientology to Tom Cruise, a man famous for abusing his power and privilege as its Messiah, that’s the real abuse?

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Simon Pegg Would Like To Clarify His Comments About How Tom Cruise Never Apologizes

Simon Pegg and Tom Cruise first got friendly with each other while making 2006’s Mission: Impossible III, and Simon has been in every M:I movie since, and I guess their friendship is strong enough for The Times of London to title their interview with Simon, Simon Pegg: my addiction, midlife crisis – and Tom Cruise bromance. Never Mind that David Miscavige is probably screeching his Thetans off in anger over that “bromance” line, the tidbit that got the most attention from Simon’s interview is the part where Simon said that Tommy never ever apologizes. This is not news to any Scientology minion who has probably had to say, “You’re right, all-knowing Tom, the sky isn’t blue, you are six foot two without heels, and Shelly Miscavige is 100% fine.” But that nugget made Simon Pegg trend on Twitter, and because, I guess, Simon really doesn’t want to feel the wrath of the intergalactic Henery Hawk, he has popped up to say that it’s just a running joke between them, you idiots!

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Simon Pegg Got Skinny Ripped For A Movie

Simon Pegg is looking radically… different? A picture of the usually perfectly average bodied actor was posted online ahead of the release of his new film Inheritance, which shows him looking positively… I’m not sure “ripped” is the right word, or whatever the word is for looking like he has forgone acting to live in a backwoods Pennsyltucky trailer park where he spends his days and nights scratching imaginary spiders off of his face and binge eating Skittles. Simon has either gotten the hot Neville Longbottom treatment or the hot mess Aaron Carter treatment. Either way, like the Shibu Inu 6 cameras (but not as cute) I dare you to try and turn away from this photo.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Moment When Tom Cruise Broke His Ankle

The shady boys in the Scientology Celebrity Centre bathhouse are going to be busy today, Photoshopping David Miscavige behind Tom Cruise in that screen shot.

Filming on the 984th Mission: Impossible movie, now called Mission: Impossible – Fallout went on hiatus for a while last year after Tommy Cruise fucked up his ankle during a stunt gone wrong. Video of Tommy making Leah Remini cackle by cracking his ankle made the rounds last year, but on The Graham Norton Show, he shared a slow-mo close-up clip of that mess. M:I – Fallout doesn’t come out until the summer, but Tommy, Rebecca Ferguson, Henry Cavill and Simon Pegg were on Graham Norton to sell that shit extra early.

The minion who told Tommy that he didn’t need to wear his lifts for this stunt is probably sitting in a cell at Gold Base. Because if Tommy wore his all-mighty lifts, the building would’ve broke, not his ankle. You can practically hear the Thetans screech when it breaks.

A bitch IS Tommy Cruise spending a mountain of money and zillions of hours to become a high-level Scientologist with superpowers, and yet he still breaks bones like us mortal peasants. The Scientology slaves who feed grapes to Tommy as he lounges on his throne better start dipping those grapes in some crushed Boniva.

Pic: YouTube 

Zachary Quinto And Simon Pegg Vs. George Takei

The upcoming Star Trek Beyond already has some strikes against it. The most tragic one was when Anton Yelchin, who played Chekov, was killed in a freak accident last month. Other minor snags included the first trailer looking like shit, and Sia not exactly switching it up for Rihanna. And now “America’s Most Beloved Homosexual” (Richard Simmons has never officially come out) George Takei is shitting on the producers’ decision to make his old character Sulu gay in the updated franchise. Well, fellow Star Trek gay Zachary Quinto and actor/screenwriter Simon Pegg would beg to differ.

George was quoted as saying that the decision to make Hikaru Sulu (played by John Cho in the new version) gay went against Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry’s original vision and was “really unfortunate” Spock and Scotty would like a word, George.

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Tom Cruise Lip-Synched FOR HIS LIFE On “The Tonight Show”

Participating in the lip-synch contest on Wiener Wednesdays in the Scientology Centre bathhouse finally paid off! While on The Tonight Show to promote Mission: Impossible 5, Tom Cruise nearly cracked the Botox in his mouth area while mouthing the words to several songs during a lip-synch battle against Jimmy Fallon. The lip-synch battle was as spontaneous as a Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck photo-op. But who cares if Tommy Girl spent several days in a rehearsal studio with a choreographer and Beyonce’s lip-synch coach. It paid off, because he worked his mouth like a blow job queen 2 minutes before closing time at the glory hole. Tommy gave us performance, moves, face, emotion and hair flips while lip-synching to The Weeknd, Meatloaf and of course, “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin.” Serve it, Tommy!

As for Jimmy Fallon… Well…. I guess he tried. As soon as Tommy wrapped his fingers around that mic, Jimmy should’ve called it a night and sashayed away to the Interior Illusions Lounge to enjoy an Absolut cocktail. (I know the “Interior Illusions Lounge” is no more, but like Tommy and that mic, I’ll never let go.) Tommy easily won that battle and he did the boys in the Scientology Centre bathhouse proud!

And here’s Tom Cruise and his “Meg Ryan in Addicted to Love” hairstyle at the NYC premiere of Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation. I also threw in pictures of Alec Baldwin, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg Me and Rebecca Ferguson. 

Pics: Wenn.com