Jury Selection Began In Blac Chyna’s Lawsuit Against The Kardashians And The Jurors Were Shady As Hell
The only thing better than a good ol’ fashioned Kardashian dragging is a good ol’ fashioned Kardashian dragging in a courtroom! And I’m sure Harvard’s favorite reject Blac Chyna (government name: Angela White) giggled in happiness as potential jurors tore her almost in-laws to shreds over their lack of morals and genuine likability. Chyna is finally having her day in court by suing Kris Jenner and her top-earning bottom bitches to the tune of $108 million for allegedly ruining her career and affecting her livelihood. Not her own deplorable behavior or the fact she’s a notorious famewhore; it was the Kardashians. Whatever Angela. But anyway, as jury selection began Kim, Khloe, Kylie, and Pimp Mama Kris sat against the firing squad who let off multiple rounds of shots that all sounded like the words “NOBODY LIKES YOU!” on repeat.
On Monday, Chyna stuffed her overinflated body parts into a business suit as jury selection for her impending trial began. The juror selection was presided over by Judge Gregory Alarcon and while Chyna’s lawyer Lynne Ciani interviewed forty-seven potential jurors for the case, the main consensus was many of them didn’t want to serve because they felt biased against the Koven. NBC News reports that Kim, Khloe, Kylie, and Kris were all in attendance during the juror interviews and they probably should have just stayed home since the jurors turned into a living comment section and had no problems using their words as a collective Dislike button all up in their immovable faces. Here are some of the jurors’ greatest hits:
“Anything that has to do with their names is just a big no for me,” one man said. “I don’t think reality TV is good for society.”
Another said, “I sincerely hope none of these people get any wealthier because of this.”
One woman said her teenage daughter tried to watch “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” when it first came on, but she put a stop to it.
“I don’t think they were the best role models,” she said. “I wouldn’t let her watch anything involving them.”
As shady as this part of the day was for them the real MVP is whoever drew their courtroom sketches. Chyna is giving Storm from the X-Men clearance rack realness while The Koven looks like repurposed department store mannequins. In other words, the sketch artist got it right!
The Kardashian vs Blac Chyna court case sketches are everything 🤣 pic.twitter.com/ZIE6mfJ1JP
— Ratchet ☀️ (@Ratchethoex) April 19, 2022
I think the courtroom illustrator should be given half of that $108 million because of the laughter these images created in a world that needs more comedy. And the other half can go to Chyna. Just kidding, fuck her. The other half of that money needs to go to the potential juror who put everything into perspective. The Daily Mail reports one man was asked whether or not he would be biased and he said he would be, but for a very different reason.
‘I have never watched the Kardashian show but I have watched the Kardashian sex tape and I don’t think I could be neutral in this case,’ a middle-aged man said, causing laughter to break out in the courtroom.
After a break, the same prospective juror volunteered: ‘I’m going to be playing that sex tape in my head and possibly not listening too closely…’
‘I think we got the point,’ Judge Alarcon said, cutting off the juror’s detailed account.
Cut to Kim whispering into Kris’ ear, “Select him. He’s a fan of my work!“. No honey, that ain’t a compliment. And I doubt you’d want some dude who holds your fate in his hands holding something else in his hands while looking at you and thinking about the dead-eyed moans that made you famous in the first place.