The “Bitches Of The Moment” feud all started when Rebecca Romjin Lettuce said Instagram tricks turned models aren’t true supermodels (she later cried clickbait). Stephanie Seymour then said that the term “supermodel” is a thing of the past and that Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid are more like “bitches of the moment.” Kendall Jenner called Stephanie Seymour a “cyberbully.” Gigi Hadid hasn’t really said anything (emojis don’t count!) but her mom Yolanda Foster has, which is just embarrassing. Gigi is definitely no supermodel because no supermodel lets her mommy defend her. And now, Tyra Banks has finally piped in and is using this dumb feud to talk about the strength of Tyra Banks!
In case you didn’t know by the fact that Giuliana Rancic’s face is all over the news (and by the “news” I mean The Daily Mail and People since that’s pretty much “the news” to me), she’s been hitting the ho stroll harder than usual because she’s pimping out her third book called Going Off Script: How I Survived a Crazy Childhood, Cancer, and Clooney’s 32 On-Screen Rejections. Yes, she has more than one book, because everyone is dying to know every single thing about the life of a professional “What Are You Wearing?” asker. Because Giuliana needed some shit for her book, she dusted off a 10+ year old cheating rumor and threw it in.
Giuliana and Jerry O’Connell bumped nipples in the early aughts and she writes that he passed his peen to another twice before dumping her. According to Page Six, Giuliana writes that things between her and Jerry were heart-shaped queefs and rainbows until he cheated on her with Ginger Spice.
“I was being two-timed for one of the lesser Spices?” she writes. Confronted, O’Connell told her, “ ‘Yeah, I know. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened.’ He had as much emotion as the customer-service representative who tells you your bags missed the flight.”
They broke up for a second, but got back together. That lasted about as long as a fried Twinkie casserole in front of Mama June’s face. Giuliana claims that Jerry quit her for good after meeting his now wife of 8 years Rebecca Romjin at a party in Vegas.
O’Connell wandered off. “Little did I know he was in the VIP area, talking up Rebecca. As a prelude to feeling up Rebecca.”
A week later, he departed for Las Vegas and stopped returning her calls. When she confronted him at his home, he refused to buzz her up.
“Nope. Sorry, homegirl,” he said, ending their relationship with: “Things change, but you take care, OK?”
Dumping a trick via a building intercom is like making someone come in on a Friday morning just so you can fire them. But the image of Jerry dropping that “sorry, homegirl” line on her after she tried to get him to buzz her in has taken me up, up and away.
And Giuliana’s ass needs to be taken away and jailed immediately for that ignorant “lesser spice” comment. Bitch needs more education! Ginger Spice isn’t the lesser Spice, because there are no lesser Spices. Choosing a lesser Spice Girl is like choosing a lesser of the Shiba Inu 6. It’s not possible! (But if I had to, I’d choose Sporty Spice. Fuck, here comes the screaming.) When I read that Giuliana accused Jerry of cheating on her with a lesser Spice, I pictured her walking in on him fucking a jar of dill seeds.
Here’s Giuliana whoring out her book for the paps in NYC today.
“Out of the way hags, a truly beautiful woman is coming through” was shouted at Sports Illustrated’s 50th Anniversary party in L.A. last night when Steven Tyler sashayed on through and showed the likes of Kate Upton, Marisa Miller, Ty Ty Banks, furniture mogul Kathy Ireland, Rebecca Romjin, Heidi Klum and Cheryl Tiegs how raw sex is really done. While looking like a Dark Crystal puppet that escaped out of the Jim Henson factory to fulfill its lifelong dream of working as a Linda Perry circa 1991 impersonator, Steven desecrated hos left and right with his glamour. If you ever want to see Kate Upton burst into a tsunami of tears and run toward the exit while questioning her entire existence, put this Honest John-looking hot bitch in front of her. She will go from thinking she’s hot shit to thinking she’s just shit.
And since every bad bitch beauty needs a battle song, this song was obviously playing in his head as he looked all those supermodels up and down:
Steven Tyler took the night, day, morning and everything in between!
It wouldn’t be the Kentucky Derby without a tall crystal glass of sweet tea with just a hint of mint to give your tongue the tingles. Johnny Weir quenched the thirst of dry mouthed bitches when he hit the red carpet at the Kentucky Derby yesterday dressed like a fancy Bravo reality star (I’m looking at you, Dwight) going to a drag queen’s funeral.
This is the first time in the history of the Kentucky Derby that the race ended early and a winner was not declared. That’s because as soon all the horses spotted Johnny in the audience, they sprouted wings, pushed a crystal horn out of their heads and flew off towards the land of rainbows and glitter. Johnny freed them!
And the people who got to witness Johnny’s glittery magic at work were: two assholian clowns, Larry Birkhead with Dannielynn, Fran Drescher, Joey Fat One, Jeff Lewis with Jenni, Vanessa Manilafolders with Nick Lachey, LOCKE!, Ugh Mario Lopez, Marisa Miller, Rebecca Romijn with Jerry O’Connell, Fred Willard and the woman with the best hat at the Derby.