The Daily Mail is reporting that a Spice Girls reunion world tour was an actual possibility but now all of us 90s gays who never got to see the Spice Girls live will have to just live with it. It seems that after Mel B revealed a secret cooch bumpin’ session with bandmate Geri Horner, shit has hit the fan and our dreams of a world tour are dead and buried along with all of the wind-breaking track pants they forced Mel C to wear all those years.
Just a week ago fan fiction sites lit up with all the new Spice Girl Ginger x Scary love stories being fueled by Mel B. While appearing on Conversation With An Asshole aka Piers Morgan’s Life Stories, Mel let it slip that she had got it on with Geri Horner, when they were in the early days of the Spice Girls. Well Geri has thought a lot about what Mel has said, and while she appreciates Mel saying she has great boobs (I’m assuming) she needs to state for the record that there was no secret lesbian relationship going on.
If what you want, what you really, really want is some Spice Girls lesbian fanfiction come-to-life, Scary Spice has you covered. Because The Sun says that Mel B claims that she and Geri Halliwell bumped spice snatches once.
The Spice Girls are going on a reunion tour that currently only six dates and 80% of the original lineup. Entertainment Tonight says they stopped by the Heart Breakfast radio show this morning (of which Emma Bunton is a co-host) to talk about the tour and drum up some ticket sales, which officially go on sale this weekend. Even though Victoria Beckham has made it very clear she’s not joining them, noted Posh troll Mel B hinted that she might show up.
After what seemed like a year of Mel B saying over and over and over again that the Spice Girls will reunite, it seems that they finally caved and said: “Okay bitch, fine, Jesus–stop visiting me at work, fuck.” Well, all of them except for Posh. Try not to piss in your little black Gucci dress out of shock over that news.
Well, someone sure is a liar, liar, spice pants on fire. Not to knock a chick while she’s down, but Mel B has insisted the Spice Girls were reuniting for a tour WITH Victoria Beckham. There’s been about as many “Will they?” or “Won’t they?” stories about the Spices that it’s hard to keep track, but it did seem like Posh was focused more on fashion (and keeping her man away from the elementary school teacher’s lounge) than lip-synching to “Wannabe.” It now sounds like she’s getting the last zig-a-zig-ahh because there’s a report that the show will go on – Posh-less.