Duchess Meghan And Prince Hot Ginge Are Splitting From Their Joint Charity With Duchess Kate And Prince William
It’s been a minute since we heard about how Prince Hot Ginge and Prince William end family dinners trying to pull at each other’s non-hair while scrapping on top of the table as the Duchesses take off their borrowed-from-the-Princess-Diana-collection earrings in preparation to tap in and THE QUEEN shouts, “Whoop that trick!“, to whichever grandson she favors the most at the time (SPOILER ALERT: PHG. It’s always PHG). Meanwhile, Prince George takes bets at the kids’ table from Charlotte, Louis, Master Archie, and Prince Philip.
After a little break, the Battle of the Royal Bald Spots is back on, and in this round, the Fab Four is no more as Meghan and PHG are making moves to split from the Royal Foundation. “That’s right, bitches, skedaddle off and start the much more fitting HO-yal Foundation,” screamed Prince William, probably.
The UK is going to be visited by the Dark Lord soon, as Donald Trump will be coming to see the Queen and such at the beginning of June for an official visit. America’s most elegant man and his incredibly elegant wife are going to sit down with all the royals: Duchess Kate, Prince William, Prince Harry, of course THE QUEEN–but one royal is lucky enough to have an excuse on missing out on the festivities and won’t have to put on her best upper-class British stoic-face and pretend to enjoy Donald Trump’s company. That lucky lady is the newest royal in the bloodline, Duchess Meghan.
Us Weekly reports that Duchess Meghan is really serious about this whole “normal mom” thing she’s got planned. It’s been reported for a while that the Duchess of Sussex and Price Harry are going to raise their new son Archie as a commoner. They want to raise their son away from the drama and conflama of being a royal and instead have him live the extremely regular life of your average extremely wealthy person who doesn’t deal with media scrutiny. Well now we’re getting more factoids being spread in the media coming from some people close to the Duchess all about how she’s going to be a normal, strict mom.
Duchess Meghan And Price Harry Want To Keep Baby Archie A Private Citizen And Want To Keep Birth Certificate Private As Well
Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry must not know that the best way to keep people interested in something is to restrict their access to it, because they are trying very hard to keep this new royal baby, Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, a secret. They are going to some serious lengths and I feel like it just makes more paparazzi come sniffing around.
First, she wasn’t planning on giving birth at the hospital. Then they weren’t going to do the standard hoe-stroll once that baby was freshly wiped down of gestational fluid and Meghan had some lipgloss on. And then they didn’t even give him a royal title. Instead they have been keeping this baby on the DL, apart from a few staged photos for posterity, I guess. Well expect to see even less of this kid, as it’s being reported that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex plan on keeping Archie a private citizen forever.
One Theory Is That Duchess Meghan And Prince Harry Didn’t Give Baby Archie A Title So He Can Be “Ordinary”
It’s being reported that the reason Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry chose not to give their new baby, Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, a title isn’t because he already has a bunch of names and doesn’t need more. It’s because they want him to grow up and be an “ordinary” person. Look at them wanting to be “normal.” Well bitch, “normal” is struggling to pay bills! That’s what you want?!
Duchess Meghan And Prince Hot Ginge Introduce The Still Nameless Baby Earl Of Dumbarton To The World (UPDATE: His Name Is Archie!)
The two day-old luckiest human in the world was carried out to his royal subjects today for the first time in his life, and as his mom Duchess Meghan and his dad Prince Ginger DILF cheesed at the mouth and said all the things that new parents are supposed to say about their newborn baby, he laid there thinking, “Will you arses tell them my name already, so they can stop calling me by my title, which sounds like Mischa Barton’s nickname on The O.C. set!”