Category: Prince Hot Ginge
Master Archie Has Graced His Mom And Dad’s Little Podcast With His Voice
About two weeks ago, we all found out that Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle followed up their multi-million dollar Netflix deal with a multi-million dollar Spotify deal. And today they put out their first podcast episode for Spotify and it’s a “holiday special” that features a bunch of their famous friends like Sir Elton John, Tyler Perry, and James Corden. Meghan’s neighbor and BFF Oprah does not make an appearance, and probably because The Mighty O didn’t even want to bother since she knew that everyone was just going to fast forward through the episode to get to the only star of it: 18-month-old Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor! Ginger Archie slobbers out a few words and giggles at the end of the episode. All headlines about Harry and Meghan’s episode focus on Archie and he’s probably the sole reason why anybody listened! Master Archie ENDED all podcasts without even trying!
Princess Eugenie Has Moved Into Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markle’s Frogmore Cottage
There were rumors that Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle were going to make their grand return to Britain to celebrate Christmas with the Royal Family (and that Meghan needed to be in the UK for her trial against The Mail on Sunday, which has been pushed to next Fall), but that’s not going to happen now. And well, if PHG and Meghan ever want to pop over to his homeland for a visit in the near future, they’ll have to sleep on an inflatable mattress in THE QUEEN’s Throne Room or get a room at the Holiday Inn, because The Sun says that they have given the keys to their 10-bedroom England pied-à-terre, Frogmore Cottage, to his cousin Princess Eugenie and her husband Jack Brooksbank. Apparently, they wanted to keep this on the shush so PHG and Meghan had their belongings moved out of Frogwhore (cue up ultra-dramatic music provided by Hans Zimmer) IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT. During that oh-so-dramatic nighttime move, I’m sure the deers and other woodland creatures around there were covering their pillows over their ears like, “The drama of it all! We don’t give a shit!”
Meghan Markle Admits That, Yeah, She Passed On Information To The Authors Of “Finding Freedom”
When word of Finding Freedom, the book about Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle exiting stage left from the Royal Family, came out, a rep for PHG and Meghan said that they didn’t do an interview for the book and didn’t contribute to it at all, even though if you ran a blacklight over the book’s pages you’d probably see their fingerprints all over it. Well, thanks to her lawsuit against The Mail on Sunday, Meghan has admitted that she did give a little info to the authors of Finding Freedom, Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand, but that she didn’t do it directly and she only did it to get her side out. If that revelation had a soundtrack, it’d be the DUH part of that Billie Eilish song.
After Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markle Encouraged Americans To Vote, Trump Said That He’s Not A Fan And Wished PHG “Luck”
On National Voter Registration Day, Meghan Markle and Prince Hot Ginge did a video, which played during the televised Time 100 special, where they got into the importance of voting and shat on hate speech. PHG wasn’t wearing a “Ginger Bros For Joe” t-shirt, and they never mentioned the name Joe Biden or endorsed Biden. But many still got their assholes twisted up about it, and because there’s absolutely nothing else going on in the country besides this, a reporter from The Daily Mail (of course) asked Donald Trump how he feels about Meghan and PHG “essentially encouraging people to vote for Joe Biden.” Trump didn’t have Mean Girls-like words for PHG (Why would he? PHG is a rich white dude whose mom Trump believes he could’ve had sex with if she took an HIV test). But he did shit-talk Meghan by saying he’s not a fan, which really is the ultimate compliment.
Prince Hot Ginge Joins Meghan Markle In Telling Everyone To Vote
Last month, Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle’s dogs starred in a dog video, and I’m not 100% sure, but I think Meghan and Gloria Steinem talked about voting during that video but my ears muted themselves so that my entire focus could be on the pooches! Well, Meghan Markle is back to tell you to vote again and this time she switched out Gloria Steinem for her British immigrant husband who can’t vote in an American election but got into the importance of voting. They really did it this time! The next time they fly into the UK, they will be told they’re going to be “escorted to a royal chariot which will take them to Buckingham Palace” but instead they’ll be thrown into a dirty van taking them to the gallows for committing the treasonous act of BREAKING ROYAL PROTOCOL by getting political even though they’re no longer senior royals.
Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markle Are No Longer Getting Money From Prince Charles And Have Paid Back The Taxpayer Money Spent On Frogmore Renovations
Congratulations to Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle! Because they have now creamed out the words that many of us say when we pay $5 more than the minimum payment due on a bill: “Fuck me happy, I’m nearly debt-free!”
PHG no longer has to nudge his daddy, Prince Charles, with an “Err, did you forget today is the first?” text when his allowance doesn’t hit his Venmo and he and Meghan don’t have to worry about British taxpayers calling a collection agency on their asses. They are now financially independent from the Royal Family. And just a quick second after moving to America! These two underdogs truly pulled themselves up from the bootstraps and defied all odds! The epitome of a rags to riches story! But seriously, while PHG and Meghan are reportedly not getting money from The Crown anymore, I’m sure The Daily Mail will find out that they used an Outback gift card that THE QUEEN gave them as a housewarming gift and will scream: Harry And Meghan, Still Leeching Off The Royal Family!