About two weeks ago, we all found out that Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle followed up their multi-million dollar Netflix deal with a multi-million dollar Spotify deal. And today they put out their first podcast episode for Spotify and it’s a “holiday special” that features a bunch of their famous friends like Sir Elton John, Tyler Perry, and James Corden. Meghan’s neighbor and BFF Oprah does not make an appearance, and probably because The Mighty O didn’t even want to bother since she knew that everyone was just going to fast forward through the episode to get to the only star of it: 18-month-old Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor! Ginger Archie slobbers out a few words and giggles at the end of the episode. All headlines about Harry and Meghan’s episode focus on Archie and he’s probably the sole reason why anybody listened! Master Archie ENDED all podcasts without even trying!
Harry and Meghan’s deal with podcast is through their Archewell Audio production company, and the first episode is called: 2020 Archwell Audio Holiday Special. At the beginning of the episode, Harry and Meghan say that they wanted to do an episode that honors “the compassion and kindness” that has gotten people through this flaming pus ball of a year and also honor those who have “experienced uncertainty and unthinkable loss.” Meghan says that their thoughts have been with people going through some shit, and people going through some shit are like, “Um, thoughts aren’t going to pay my rent after I lost my job so I can just drop you my Venmo?”
The rest of the episode is filled with famous people giving their thoughts on 2020 and what they look forward to next year. Now, if you or I did a podcast episode filled with our friends giving their thoughts on 2020, the episode would probably be nothing but the sound of our friends snot-crying as a mouse clicks from them refreshing to see if that stimulus check finally hit and took their bank account out of the negative. But none of Harry and Meghan’s guests did that. On top of the names I listed above, the podcast also includes words from Naomi Osaka, Deepak Chopra, Stacey Abrams, José Andrés, George the Poet, and other writers and activists. But at the very end, Archie easily steals the entire show by baby-speaking out a Happy New Year to everyone. I’ve transcribed this riveting moment:
PHG: You can speak into it.
MM: Archie, is it fun?
PHG: After me, ready, “Happy.”
Archie: New. Year.
Here’s the whole episode, which really should’ve been titled: ARCHIE SPEAKS AT THE 1:30 MARK!
You better believe that Spotify stock is going to jump a billion points because of Archie’s voice debut. So Harry and Meghan better call up Spotify’s executives and put Archie on the line after teaching him how to say, “Where’s. My. Cut?”