Category: Thomas Markle

Meghan Markle Lost Round One In Her Legal Tussle Against The Mail On Sunday

May 1, 2020 / Posted by:

Last year, Meghan Markle hit one of her arch-rivals, Associated Newspapers, the publisher of The Mail On Sunday and The Daily Mail, with a lawsuit for publishing parts of a private letter she sent to her loyal (to his checking account) and devoted (to again, his checking account) father Thomas Markle a few months after she married Prince Hot Ginge. Even though many of us are on lockdown and turning our kitchens into fucking San Francisco by churning out sourdough bread on the hour, a preliminary hearing in Meghan’s case was held virtually last week. I really need to see the clips of the barristers arguing on Zoom while working those Dangerous Liaisons wigs as they make sourdough at the same time. The judge in the case has made some decisions and the decisions were against Meghan’s case. Okay, but again, I need to know if the judge used a piece of sourdough as a gavel while making those rulings.

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From The Department Of Read The Damn Room: Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markle Have Broken Up With Four British Tabloids In A Letter

April 20, 2020 / Posted by:

Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle have made it Windex fresh clear that they would rather play Fortnite with Prince William and Duchess Kate on a commercial flight than deal with the British tabloids. They’ve thrown lawsuits at the British tabloids. They’ve shit on the British tabloids in written statements and on TV. Not only have those in the back heard how much PHG and Meghan hate the British tabloids, those in the next building (hell, in the next zip code) have heard it. But they have let us know again in a break-up letter to four British tabloids, telling those lie-telling bitches to lose their number because they are done communicating with them FOREVER. PHG and Meghan’s latest slap down on the British tabloids is happening because of a new filing in her case against one of the tabloids. But still, everyone has taken a break from dealing with a full-on pandemic to shed another tear over PHG and Meghan’s famous people media woes.

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Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Will Reportedly Pay For Their Own Security When They Start Making Enough Money

January 23, 2020 / Posted by:

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are currently living the good life in Canada, but since they’re the type of famous in which they can’t even take their dogs out for a poo in the woods without being photograph, they need a security team. And so far, no one has really figured out who was going to pay for it.

Buckingham Palace hasn’t said whether they’ll foot the bill, or if they’ll invoice Canadian taxpayers for that. Harry and Meghan have explained that they plan on being totally financially independent with the help of some multi-million dollar deals (despite the fact that they’ll still get an allowance from Prince Charles). The Telegraph now claims that Harry and Meghan are trying to work out a deal where they’ll only pay for some of their security bill, and only if they end up making loads of money.

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Thomas Markle Is Set To Testify Against Duchess Meghan In Her Tabloid Case

January 15, 2020 / Posted by:

Not only is Thomas Markle disappointed that his daughter is partly leaving the Royal Family, but he’s also ready to help the tabloids screw her over. What a way to win your way back into your daughter’s life, huh? Duchess Meghan has been going after the Mail on Sunday for publishing a letter she sent to her father. Of course he was clearly revealed as a bag of dicks back then–since they sure didn’t get that letter from his evil twin–but he may be doubling down and testifying in favor of his daughter’s enemy.

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Duchess Meghan May Sue The Mail On Sunday For Publishing Her Letter To Thomas Markle

February 25, 2019 / Posted by:

I honestly think there would be nothing worse than if a newspaper A- thought I was interesting enough to write about and B- started going through my garbage to publish all the crap they find. Duchess Meghan has been going through that ever since she won the dating lottery and began to hump on Prince Harry. She hasn’t exactly had the easiest commoner-to-royal transition since, uh, her dad, Thomas Markle, and his side of the family are trash. The Mail on Sunday helped take it to the next level the other week by publishing a letter Meghan wrote to her dad after the wedding, telling him to cut his bullshit. It seems like Meghan REALLY didn’t appreciate that, so now she’s threatening legal action against them.

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George Clooney Thinks The Media Is Vilifying Duchess Meghan And It’s Becoming A Princess Diana Situation 

February 12, 2019 / Posted by:

In case you didn’t know from George and Amal Clooney cheesing it up at the royal wedding and his Kentucky cousin saying that he’d be a perfect godfather to the royal ginger American baby, the Clooneys are friends with the Duke and Duchess of Suckit. So while promoting his new Hulu series Catch-22 at the Winter TCA, Australian magazine WHO asked him if he’s going to be the godfather to Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan’s baby. George let out a, “No!“, before laughing and then crying while thinking about how if he was that baby’s godfather, he could somehow convince PHG and Meghan to name the kid Duke or Duchess Casamigos. George then got serious and called for the media to stop relentlessly dragging Duchess Meghan.

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