Category: Pepsi
Open Post: Hosted By The Return Of Peeps-Flavored Pepsi
Now that Valentine’s Day is over and all of the red, pink, and heart-shaped candy is on the clearance rack, it’s time for big sweets to move on to their next seasonally appropriate grift. Enter Peeps. They’re the candy corn of Easter because they’re fucking gross and are on a constant crusade to find a way for more people to ingest them by cranking out new flavors or creeping their way into harmless things like beer…and soda. Pepsi’s been a passenger on the Peeps stunt train before when they collaborated on a marshmallow-flavored version of the soft drink together back in 2021, but it was only available as a sweepstakes prize. But this year, the soda–that should’ve been named PEEPSI but the marketing execs gave up after they couldn’t get putrid Pepsi Milk to take off even with an assist from Lindsay Lohan–will hit the sales shelves, so people who love to drink beverages that taste like a damn headache can rejoice.
Lindsay Lohan And Pepsi Are Trying To Make Pepsi Milk Happen
And now for something completely disgusting. Lindsay Lohan stars in two new Christmas-themed ads for Pepsi. So far, not gross. I, for one, welcome the Lohanaissance. No, what’s absolutely fucking repulsive is what happens in these commercials. Both Santa Claus and Lilo mix Pepsi with milk and try to convince us it’s delicious! They’re calling it “Pilk”, and, in each commercial, Lindsay utters this perverted line: “That is one dirty soda!” I’ve never been more offended in my entire life.
Open Post: Hosted By Pepsi’s Limited Edition S’mores Sodas
Mooooooooove over, Pink Sauce. Beat it, Taco Truck Jelly Beans! A new disgusting creation has come onto the scene: Pepsi S’mores! But in an effort to make it slightly viler, this version comes in three flavors: toasty marshmallow, graham cracker, and chocolate. It’s more of a collection than just a simple drink. That’s what you can tell people when you want to sound fancy about your beverages that can clean drain pipes.
Open Post: Hosted By Pepsi-Flavored Pepperoni
The pizza wars have always been hotter than a slice cooked at 500˚F. Pizza Hut, Dominos, Papa John’s, Little Caesar’s, and your local pizza joint are always coming up with new ideas for snatching the coins out of your wallet. Some work (Pizza Hut’s stuffed crust) while others don’t (Papa John’s John Schnatter’s sweaty interviews). Well, it looks like Pepsi’s getting into the stunt game by unveiling its unholy creation for the humble cheesy pie: Pepsi-flavored pepperoni a.k.a Pepsi-roni!
After Giving Aunt Jemima The Boot, PepsiCo Has Revealed Its New Syrup And Pancake Mix Logo
It’s finally happened! Thanks to corporate America, racism is dead! I don’t even know what to do with myself right now, I never thought I’d see it happen in my lifetime. With a small assist from the NFL who did their part by hiding the words “end racism” on the back of Tom Brady’s helmet, PepsiCo has leveled the final blow by relieving Aunt Jemima from her duties as the name and face of their pancake syrup and replaced her with a 19th-century watermill named Pearl Milling Company, effectively ending centuries of racial strife. Free at last, free at last! I guess now we just sit back and wait for our reparations checks to arrive. I wonder if they’ll just add that to our stimulus checks or if it will come as a separate payment. Guess we’ll find out soon enough!
Open Post: Hosted By Pepsi “Champagne”
Variety says that Pepsi is about to curl up a pinky and get fancy, heaux. They are introducing a new limited-edition product which will make you scrunch up your nose but also possibly intrigue you? Enter: Pepsi Cola Rosé Champagne. It’s a lot going on and it’s making its debut at the classiest event this side of Andy Cohen‘s baby shower: BravoCon. You know, like ComicCon but for high-class Bravolebrities.