Lindsay Lohan And Pepsi Are Trying To Make Pepsi Milk Happen
And now for something completely disgusting. Lindsay Lohan stars in two new Christmas-themed ads for Pepsi. So far, not gross. I, for one, welcome the Lohanaissance. No, what’s absolutely fucking repulsive is what happens in these commercials. Both Santa Claus and Lilo mix Pepsi with milk and try to convince us it’s delicious! They’re calling it “Pilk”, and, in each commercial, Lindsay utters this perverted line: “That is one dirty soda!” I’ve never been more offended in my entire life.
Here are the ads (get that puke bucket ready!):
People reports that Pepsi is actually trying to make this a thing. They’re inviting fans to “join the naughty list” this December and enter to win the #PilkandCookies Holiday Challenge by sharing a photo or video of their Pilk and Cookies. Here’s Lilo’s statement about the campaign. I’m sure she wrote every word herself:
“Partnering with Pepsi to announce Pilk and Cookies has been an incredible experience,” Lohan said in a release. “As someone who loves the holiday season and embracing new traditions, I was thrilled to have a little bit of fun with Pepsi and their take on the dirty soda. For people learning about Pilk for the first time, I won’t lie to you when I say I was a bit skeptical when I first heard of this pairing, but after my first sip I was amazed at how delicious it was, so I’m very excited for the rest of the world to try it.”
Even though Pilk sounds like it was invented by a bunch of evil soda executives, Pepsi was apparently inspired by “the dirty soda”, a drink popular on TikTok. You can blame Olivia Rodriguez for that one. Last year she posted an Instagram picture holding a cup from Swig, a soda shop that specializes in the dirty drinks.
Actually, don’t blame Olivia. Blame those damned Mormons! Olivia shot High School Musical: The Musical: The Series in Utah, where dirty sodas are super popular. Utah has Mormons, and (many) Mormons don’t drink alcohol. So they have to get creative with their drinks. The dirty soda, which consists of soda mixed with lime juice, flavored syrups, and half and half or creamer, has been wildly popular for about ten years. Ummm, fine, but why is Pepsi trying to capitalize on a Mormon trend? What’s next? Sealy Mattresses trying to sell us on “soaking” and “jump-humping”?
@lexie_8133 Reply to @kremdelacrop I wish I was joking #exmo #exmormon #fyp #OneSliceChallenge #ward666 #postmormon
@funeralpotatoslut Did you know if someone else jumps on the bed, the movement doesn’t count? #notallheros #exmormon #soaking #soaktok #hiatus #backatit #mormonshit#exmo
Pic: PepsiCo