Category: Aunt Jemima
After Giving Aunt Jemima The Boot, PepsiCo Has Revealed Its New Syrup And Pancake Mix Logo
It’s finally happened! Thanks to corporate America, racism is dead! I don’t even know what to do with myself right now, I never thought I’d see it happen in my lifetime. With a small assist from the NFL who did their part by hiding the words “end racism” on the back of Tom Brady’s helmet, PepsiCo has leveled the final blow by relieving Aunt Jemima from her duties as the name and face of their pancake syrup and replaced her with a 19th-century watermill named Pearl Milling Company, effectively ending centuries of racial strife. Free at last, free at last! I guess now we just sit back and wait for our reparations checks to arrive. I wonder if they’ll just add that to our stimulus checks or if it will come as a separate payment. Guess we’ll find out soon enough!
Expect A Megyn Kelly Meltdown In 3…2…
Thanks to the Black Lives Matter movement, people have called for the banishment of statues of racists, HBO Max is including a special introduction about race with their showing of Gone with the Wind, Lady Antebellum changed their name to Lady A (or as we know them as, Lady Ay!LearnHowToFuckingGoogle), and now Quaker Oats is finally retiring Aunt Jemima for being a racist stereotype. “May we suggest that you just change her name to Aunt J?” said the re-branding experts known as Lady A(ntebellum).