Category: Nick Cannon
Nick Cannon Said He Absolutely Did NOT Fumble His Marriage To Mariah Carey
Nick Cannon, better known as Tricky Dick Nicky amongst his children’s mothers, was at one time married to dethroned Queen of Christmas, Mariah Carey. And their love was odd because no one believed they belonged together, which eventually proved true after they got divorced. Now we know Nick has gone on to begin his mission of re-populating the Earth, which could be looked at as the lesser prize after having Mariah as your wife. And many believe that in the greater scheme of things, since Mariah will always be the bigger star, Nick was the one who dropped the ball on their relationship. However, Nick doesn’t believe that and thinks it’s actually the other way around.
Abby De La Rosa Said It Turns Her On To See Nick Cannon With His Other Children’s Moms
California’s recent heavy rains have a perfectly logical explanation: Nick Cannon’s “super sperm” incubator four of six, Abby De La Rosa, recently said that seeing Nick with his other babies’ moms turns her on. And since there are five others besides her (so far), it made for a very wet winter!
Nick Cannon Claims He Has Super Sperm That Defeats Birth Control
The Genghis Khan of the 21st century, Nick Cannon, recently appeared on Howie Mandel’s podcast Howie Mandel Does Stuff this past Tuesday to talk about his fruitful career and what Howie really wanted to talk about, the fruit of his loins. Howie quickly pointed out, “When Nick’s not in production, he’s in reproduction.” But Nick wants it to be known that he has totally used birth control, it just doesn’t work against his “super sperm,” as if the only thing that could kill off spunk would be kryptonite. That’s funny since listening to Nick Cannon constantly talk about spreading his “seed” is a real form of birth control for many.
Nick Cannon Says He Doesn’t Have Time For Love BUT Will Make Time For Another Baby… With Taylor Swift
Whenever I see photos of Nick Cannon, the first thing I think is, “Yo, you need a nap.” Because I don’t know how he’s still standing after twelve children and twelve million different gigs to support all of them. And during a recent sit down with Howard Stern on his Sirius XM show, the subject of having more children came up in their chat. I’m surprised Nick didn’t begin flipping tables and wild out for real because that question has to be a trigger for him. However, Nick answered that he wasn’t sure, but when asked if he would like for newly single Taylor Swift to bear lucky baby #13, Nick perked up immediately.
Nick Cannon Teased An Upcoming Game Show Where The Winner Gets To Have His Baby, But It’s Not Real… Yet
Live-action sperm sprinkler Nick Cannon, known in special circles as The Coochie Commander, has an estimated net worth of $20 million. However, when you have as many children as he does, that money could easily dwindle down to about $20 within the next decade. So in an attempt to make sure he keeps the cash and the kids constantly coming in, Nick has announced he will be starring in a brand new game show where the woman who wins gets to have his baby. Now, wait! Before you begin thinking that the bar truly is in Hell, please know that this is part of an upcoming sketch show from mini mastermind of mockery Kevin Hart, who is leaping at the chance to make fun of Nick’s penchant for parenthood and punani.
Open Post: Hosted By Nick Cannon’s Spoof Christian Mingle Ad For Valentine’s Day
Ladies, if you’re ever on a dating app and see world re-population pioneer Nick Cannon as one of its users, delete the app as quickly as possible. Because once Nick’s super sperm takes your ovaries hostage, you’ll not only be forced to carry one of his children you will also be subjected to him telling you corny dad jokes for the rest of your life. If you need an example of how miserable you’ll be once that happens, Nick posted a cringeworthy Valentine’s Day video where he’s ready to terrorize the pious and holy single ladies of Christian Mingle. Not only by threatening to join but also by literally telling his future seed incubators how horribly he will treat them once he drops that dick on ’em.