In the not even two months since Kim Zolciak and Kroy Biermann filed for divorce, the whole ordeal has been such a calamitous shit mountain that there are already two pages of posts here detailing the dysfunction, which includes both a custody and house battle as well as allegations of abuse, a gambling addiction, and the consumption of the devil’s lettuce. And since the alums of The Real Housewives of Atlanta and Don’t Be Tardy have even less sense than liquid assets, they’ve been enlisting their local police as referees in their fight to secure the title of “most contentious-ass divorce of 2023.” In their most recent play, Kim called 911 because she alleged that Kroy threatened to file kidnapping charges over a miscommunication about one of the four kids they have together going on a playdate and also stole one of her bags containing divorce documents.
As the summer of a thousand celebrity hot mess divorces rolls on, Kevin Costner and his eventually-to-be ex-wife, Christine Baumgartner, have been consistently delivering when it comes to probably having their people volley gratuitously absurd and chaotic details “from court documents” back and forth. When this whole thing started, Kevin said it was a surprise divorce, and Christine was disobeying their prenup by not GTFO of his home after she filed, despite him paying her to leave. There was also some guesthouse tenant drama. Then, it was reported that Christine was asking for Kevin to pay her a jaw-dropping $248,000 PER MONTH in child support–which she says wasn’t even enough to fund the lifestyle their kids were accustomed to. And now, People says that in court documents, Christine claimed that Kevin told their three children about the divorce in a quick Zoom call while he was filming in another state, and she’s pretty pissed about it because it’s not how they agreed it would all go down.
Mega-sperm carrier Nick Cannon recently assured everyone that he didn’t fumble his past marriage to Mariah Carey, but it looks like he admittedly DID fumble Mother’s Day for at least a few of the six mothers of his 12 children this year. So if there was still any notion that he’s been handling this mass re-population effort he’s perplexingly spearheaded, well, the answer is “definitely not” if his mixing up of the handwritten Mother’s Day cards he attempted to hand out is any indication.
California’s recent heavy rains have a perfectly logical explanation: Nick Cannon’s “super sperm” incubator four of six, Abby De La Rosa, recently said that seeing Nick with his other babies’ moms turns her on. And since there are five others besides her (so far), it made for a very wet winter!
This week, shit in the world of Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid went from zero to FUCKINGMESS when it was reported that Gigi’s mother, Yolanda Hadid, accused him of striking her during a fight last month. Then we learned that Zayn was charged with four criminal acts of harassment, and ended up taking a plea deal. Zayn pled “no contest” to one account in exchange for 360 days probation and a fine, and he must complete an anger management class, a domestic violence program, and he has to stay away from Yolanda and the security involved in the fight. And now sources are saying that Zayn and Gigi’s relationship has been toxic for a while and that he was dropped by his US record label, RCA Records, for being out of control and that friends are concerned about him smoking tons of “extremely strong cannabis.” I know, someone in the music industry smoking strong strains of the good shit. Snoop Dogg just dropped his joint in shock.