The Genghis Khan of the 21st century, Nick Cannon, recently appeared on Howie Mandel’s podcast Howie Mandel Does Stuff this past Tuesday to talk about his fruitful career and what Howie really wanted to talk about, the fruit of his loins. Howie quickly pointed out, “When Nick’s not in production, he’s in reproduction.” But Nick wants it to be known that he has totally used birth control, it just doesn’t work against his “super sperm,” as if the only thing that could kill off spunk would be kryptonite. That’s funny since listening to Nick Cannon constantly talk about spreading his “seed” is a real form of birth control for many.
Nick told Howie that he thinks of himself as a “man of abundance,” which is just a more tasteful way of saying he doesn’t pull out. And then it came time for Howie to ask the million dollar question, “Are there more kids on the way?” and Nick actually revealed there aren’t. via People:
“I’m gonna be honest, I got some super sperm or something ’cause I’ve practiced birth control, and people still got pregnant,” he told Mandel.
“But, to say that, I’m trying to be as responsible as I possibly can, learning lessons,” he continued, as Mandel teased, “it’s hard to be responsible when you have super sperm.”
Here is the full interview if that’s something you want to listen to today:
Nick has had a grand total of 12 kids with six different women, all with equally excessive names. (Shout out to Powerful Queen Cannon and Zillion Heir Cannon!) Obviously, #1 on the call sheet is Mariah Carey and their 11-year-old twins, but here’s a rundown of the rest of his fleet:
The comedian, 42, shares 11-year-old twins Monroe and Moroccan with ex Mariah Carey, whom he was married to from 2008 to 2016. He is also a father to sons Golden Sagon, 6, and Rise Messiah Cannon, 6 months, and daughter Powerful Queen, 2, with Brittany Bell.
He also shares twins Zion Mixolydian and Zillion Heir, 21 months, and daughter Beautiful Zeppelin, 4 months, with Abby De La Rosa; son Legendary Love, 8 months, with Bre Tiesi; daughter Onyx Ice Cole, 5 months, with LaNisha Cole. He’s also dad to two children with Alyssa Scott, son Zen, who died at 5 months old in December 2021 after being diagnosed with brain cancer, and daughter Halo Marie, 3 months.
At this point, Nick’s whole brand is populating the world with as many kids as possible. And I’m no marketing professional, but I’m pretty sure that basing your brand on The Duggars’ brand is not a good move.