Category: Blame Nick Cannon
Mariah Carey Is Reportedly Seeking Primary Custody Of Her Twins With Nick Cannon
Looks like Nick Cannon’s baby-making habit has pissed off at least one of the mothers of his children–the original one, in fact. Queen of Christmas (One of many!) Mariah Carey is reportedly going to file for primary custody of their 11-year-old twins, Morocco and Monroe. The couple has been divorced since 2014 and has never fought publicly about custody stuff, so I mean… I WONDER WHY Mariah is suddenly like, “These kids need to stay with me.” Surely, it’s not related to Nick just welcoming his 12th baby to this Hellohole known as Earth. Well, it’s not like Nick has time for all these kids anyway. And having joint custody of 10/12 kids is still a good percentage!
Nick Cannon Claims He Pays “A Lot More” Than $3 Million On Child Support For His Soon-To-Be 12 Kids
Nick Cannon just welcomed his 11th child with his 12th on the way, and you know his balls are probably ready to unleash the 13th into yet another uterus. And to the owner of that uterus, I beg: Please don’t. And Nick’s accountant is probably begging the same thing because Nick says that he pays “a lot more” than $3 million a year for his brood of children. Yeah, imagine if even a fraction of these kids plan on going to college–he’ll be bankrupt!
Nick Cannon Is Expecting Yet Another Child
What the actual fuck ever happened to that vasectomy 41-year-old Nick Cannon claimed he had a consultation for?! Someone needs to stop this man from getting everyone in the neighborhood pregnant. It’s time for baby number 9, as Nick announced he and the mother of two of his other children, Brittany Bell, is pregnant with their third child. At least he’s circling back through Baby Mamas, but I guarantee you this man will crack a dozen babies and/or pregnancies by the end of the year. Maybe even a baker’s dozen!–I totally see him trying to squeeze in a few more fertilizations before 2023.
Nick Cannon Calls His Relationship Infrastructure “Consensual Non-Monogamy”
Most of us probably would be fine never hearing about what Nick Cannon’s unsheathed dick is up to again, but it seems like his goal these days is for his reproductive and courting habits to be the talk of the dinner table. Since his short-lived talk show is no longer, he’s taken to touring other platforms to remind us that he is very fertile and has sex with many women. This time, he explained that he doesn’t do monogamy (duh), he practices what he calls “consensual non-monogamy.” “Ohhhh that’s good!” cried Elon Musk and Tristan Thompson, in unison while high-fiving.
Nick Cannon Says We Should Expect More Babies From Him This Year
Guess who was lying about slowing down on the baby-making? That’s right, folks, Nick Cannon has confirmed that his dick is still putting in the leg-work and that we can most definitely expect more of his spawn to show up. And that sound you hear is Child Support Services beginning construction on The Nick Cannon Wing.
Nick Cannon Doesn’t Think The Mothers Of His Eight Children Need To Get Along
A list of Nick Cannon‘s children includes, but is not limited to: 10-year-old twins Monroe and Moroccan with his ex-wife Mariah Carey; 5-year-old son Golden “Sagon” and 1-year-old daughter Powerful Queen with Brittany Bell; and 9-month-old twins Zion Mixolydian and Zillion Heir with Abby De La Rosa. He also tragically lost his 5-month-old son, Zen–who he had with Alyssa Scott–to brain cancer last year. Nick also has another child on the way with Bre Ties. So there are five women who have procreated with Nick Cannon and he says that his children’s mothers don’t need to like each other because he’s all that matters.