Category: Kelly Clarkson
St. Angie Jolie’s Fixer Supposedly Warned Melissa Etheridge And She Wrote A Song About It
The latest leg of Melissa Etheridge’s “Angelina Jolie Is A Nasty Demon Cuntress Tour” made a stop on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live last night and she debuted a brand new song that I’m sure will soon be #1 on Angelina Jolie’s iTunes playlist. Melissa was on Andy’s SiriusXM radio show on Monday and she said that the allegations that her old friend Brad Pitt went crazy on Maddox are “completely unfounded” and she accused Team St. Angie of leaking fake stories to the media. Melissa also brought up how during Angie’s BBP (Before Brad Pitt) days, she and Billy Bob Thornton acted real nasty toward Laura Dern. On WWHL last night, Melissa said that Team St. Angie went after her about the things she said and she responded to them with a lil’ diddy!
Kelly Clarkson Is A Mom Again
Kelly Clarkson, one-half of the greatest on-screen pairing in one of cinema’s greatest masterpieces, finally gave birth to that baby that was living inside her. It felt like Kelly had been pregnant with her second for years. When she appeared on American Idol back in February, I was sure her performance was going to end with Harry Connick Jr. slipping into his doctor costume from the Lifetime movie Living Proof and delivering her baby on stage while her husband Brandon Blackstock cheered them on from the audience. But her baby still had some time to go, and he popped out two days ago. Kelly confirmed the arrival of her baby boy, Remington Alexander Blackstock, earlier today on Twitter.
Our little baby boy has arrived!! Remington Alexander Blackstock was born 4/12/16 & he is healthy & we couldn't be happier or more in love!
— Kelly Clarkson (@kelly_clarkson) April 14, 2016
Kelly and Brandon’s new baby joins their almost 2-year-old daughter River Rose. This also means that sassy lil’ Oklahoma gingersnap Reba McEntire is an honorary memaw again. Reba was Brandon’s step-mama for 26 years, and they’re still close. So congratulations, Remington – you won the baby lottery. You’ll be able fall asleep to Saturday afternoon reruns of Reba with the star of Reba.
As for that name. Kelly is a Texas girl through and through, so it’s sort of fitting that she named her son after America’s oldest gun brand. The only thing more Texas would be if she named her son Roadhouse, or the sound of truck tires squealing. Not to mention just how much more Texas-y it sounds when you put it with his big sister’s name. River & Remington sounds like a company that sells custom-made mechanical bulls for country bars, or Tami Taylor’s favorite rhinestone-covered purse store.
Pic: Instagram
Kelly Clarkson Says She Was Blackmailed Into Working With Dr. Luke
Last month, a judge shot down Kesha’s preliminary injunction request to record music outside of her contract with alleged not-great dude Dr. Luke. After the judge denied Kesha’s request, several famous people came to her defense by tweeting their support. Kelly Clarkson was one of them, and she didn’t really say much at the time. Kelly retweeted the band Best Coast (who called the situation “bullshit“) and added: “Trying 2 not say anything since I can’t say anything nice about a person…so this is me not talking about Dr. Luke.”
Kelly clearly said fuck it to the whole “If you can’t say anything nice” thing, because she spilled some feelings about Dr. Luke during a recent interview with Australia’s Kyle and Jackie O radio show (via UsWeekly). Kelly worked with Dr. Luke during the production of Breakaway back in 2004 and she didn’t have a whole lot of nice things to say about the experience. Thanks to Kesha, we already know what can allegedly happen when you work with Dr. Luke. And while Kelly’s experience wasn’t nearly as horrible, she does want you to know that it wasn’t pleasant.
Shock And Surprise: A Singer Not Named “Adele” Made People Cry
Ole’ frosty locks hasn’t been that emotional since the store nearest his house was all out of Sun-In.
The original American Idol Kelly Clarkson went back to the show that made her a STAH last night and showed the final 10 how it’s done. While going through phase 3 of the CASE OF THE BABIES, Kelly brought the raw emotions while singing “Piece By Piece,” a song about her dead beat daddy and her husband who restored her faith in men. The emotions overtook her and she had to stop for a second as everyone in the audience and watching at home thought to themselves, “Wait, this isn’t an Adele song, so am I legally allowed to cry?” Keith Urban got so weepy that I thought the ironed-out Calico Cat on top of his head was going to come alive and lick his sad tears dry. JLo would’ve cried, but she’s not about to jack up that make-up job when a camera’s on her face.
After Kelly took us on a journey to Kleenexville and back, the emotionless garden gnome Ryan Seacrest got on stage to talk to her and she told him that the song meaning mixed with the nostalgia of Idol brought the feelings out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FHYBQxURQo
While watching that, I expected to see a puddle of liquid beneath her feet. No, not from her water breaking. But from her unborn baby crying out a million tears.
And on that note, here’s JLo working a sparkly crotch at the American Idol finalist party last night.
Pics: Wenn.com
Kelly Clarkson Wants You To Know That She Never Called Miley Cyrus A “Pitchy Stripper”
That’s too bad, because “pitchy stripper” is right up there with “chubby and corny” as one of my favorite reads. During a game of Plead the Fifth on Thursday’s episode of Watch What Happens Live, Kelly Clarkson was asked by the long-lost 4th member of Alvin and the Chipmunks Andy Cohen if she would still liken the horny hillbilly yodels of Miley Cyrus to that of a pitchy stripper. In case your brain isn’t a working Wikipedia entry for Kelly Clarkson, Kelly gave a two-word review of the 2013 VMAs (aka the one where Miley first released her uncooked chicken giblets unto the world) by tweeting the hashtag #pitchystrippers. Naturally, everyone assumed she was talking about pitchy amateur stripper Miley Cyrus, but Kelly Clarkson would like you to know she would NEVER:
“I never said Miley Cyrus! The fact that I tweeted ‘pitchy stripper’ and people thought Miley Cyrus is not my problem. I’m just saying! Never said Miley Cyrus, my man! Everybody else said Miley Cyrus when I did that. That’s not my fault!”
“I am not saying who it was because if I say it’s not, then you’re going to guess somebody else. You’re trying to manipulate me. I’m going to drink more. Soon I’ll say the truth, and then I can blame it on the alcohol.”
Speaking of booze truth, Kelly also admitted that she once dated Justin Guarini during the making of From Justin to Kelly. Well duh, can you blame her? Who could resist the white-hot Sideshow Bob-haired heat and panty-dampening sexuality of 2003-era Justin Guarini? My mouth is getting all kinds of dry just thinking about where he’d put that puka shell necklace.
Here’s the former almost Mrs. Justin Guarini grabbing lunch earlier this week in New York City. Is Kelly wearing ballet flats? In the words of Andy Stitzer: NOOOOO KELLY CLARKSON! That’s how you slip and fall and get an ass crack full of snow.
Pics: Splash
Kelly Clarkson Says She Will Deny Her Daughter One Of Cinema’s Greatest Gifts To Humanity
File this under the No. 1 reason people probably don’t want to work with Kelly Clarkson: during an interview with TIME about her new album Piece by Piece, Kelly was asked at what age she would introduce her daughter River Rose to the cinematic masterpiece that is the 2003 film From Justin to Kelly. Kelly’s response SHOULD have been “As soon as possible” or “Duh, I had my OB-GYN throw an iPad up my cooch while I was pregnant so she could watch that shit in-utero”. But Kelly Clarkson clearly has no appreciation for good taste and/or cargo shorts, because her answer was this:
TIME: At what age will you sit River Rose down and tell her about From Justin to Kelly?
Kelly Clarkson: Never! We don’t have to show her that!TIME: You’re going to pretend it doesn’t exist?
Kelly Clarkson: That’s what I do. So why not?TIME: It could be a cult movie classic, you just have to give it a few more years.
Kelly Clarkson: Oh my God, I hope not. I just want it to go away. I want to own all of it. I just want it to not be here.
NOOOOOOOOO KELLY CLARKSON – take it back take it back TAKE IT BACK! From Justin to Kelly is one of the finest pieces of so-bad-its-good fuckery to ever grace humanity’s eyeballs. Your baby should know about From Justin to Kelly, Kelly. Your baby should know as soon as her eyes start recognizing shapes and colors. Although even then, she’ll still probably be looking at Justin Guarini’s hair and thinking “WTF am I even looking at?“