Category: Josh Hutcherson

Jennifer Lawrence Says She’s Too Successful For Directors To Tell Her To Lose Weight

July 13, 2015 / Posted by:

In case you’ve forgotten, America’s cool girlfriend Jennifer Lawrence loves to eat. If we went inside JLaw’s head, Inside Out-style, we’d see that she had only one Island of Personality, and it would be a massive pile of chicken wings floating on a fart cloud, surrounded by a moat of barbecue sauce. And JLaw says that she’s earned it. During the San Diego Comic-Con panel for The Hunger Games: Whatever, The Last One on Thursday, JLaw talked about how lucky she is to have gotten to the point in her career where she doesn’t have to worry about anyone telling her to switch from pizza to celery-flavored water because she’s growing a major “stuffed crust ass.

“I had a conversation with somebody about the struggles with weight in the industry – I know that’s something I talk nonstop about. And they were saying, ‘All of the main movie stars aren’t very underweight.’ I said, ‘Yeah, because once you get to a certain place [in your career], people will hire you. They just want you to be in the movie, so they don’t care.’ It’s more about the struggle for the actors and actresses who haven’t made it to a certain place.”

But when one mouth opens, another closes (what? I don’t know). JLaw also wants you to know that she’s trying to be less-JLaw:

“I’m starting this new thing: I’ve tried to develop a filter. This could blow people’s hair back in a good way, or it could be my last time at Comic-Con.”

Noooooo! What is Jennifer Lawrence without her signature chronic word diarrhea? Maybe she’s self-censoring her words in preparation for that possible Hawaiian family vacation she’s going on with Gwyneth Paltrow. I can imagine training your mouth not hiss out a sarcastic “Bitch, I’M GOOD” every time you’re offered a snack platter of organic pink lemon wedges would take weeks of practice.

Here’s more of Jennifer “2 Successful 2 Struggle” Lawrence at the Comic-Con Hunger Games panel, as well as the X-Men: Apocalypse panel on Saturday.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

And Now It’s Jennifer Lawrence’s Turn To Work That Fancy Duvet Cover Couture!

November 18, 2014 / Posted by:

As a proud nap enthusiast, I am loving the siesta sophistication being served up at these Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 premieres! First it was Elizabeth Banks turning out gorgeous guest bedroom eleganza in London, and now we have Jennifer Lawrence working some flawless 5-star hotel room realness at the premiere in Los Angeles last night. That dress makes me want to order a $30 cheeseburger from room service and eat it in a pillow fort while watching a tasteful $20 adult film.

Now, I’m not sure what Jennifer Lawrence has stuffed under the skirt of her fancy Dior dress, but I will say this: it looks like it’s either comfortable as hell or a Slue Foot Sue nightmare. But knowing JLaw, there’s no way she’d cram herself into anything that would restrict a fart, so I’m going with “comfortable”. JLaw is smart – those Hunger Games movies are long as hell, and the best way to prevent getting a painful ass cramp from sitting too long is to make sure your butt is wrapped in a soft nest of plush booty cushioning.

Sadly, JLaw’s down-filled butt wasn’t my favorite look of the premiere. That honor goes to Fulton Reed from The Mighty Ducks (aka Elden Henson) who wore his hair in a gorgeous pair of formal gentleman braids!

'The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1' Los Angeles Premiere

The braids plus the bow tie make him look like sort of like a little girl at a dance recital that was like “Fuck this shit, I’m late for my job at the bank“. I love it! Here’s more of JLaw looking all kinds of comforter casual and Fulton Reed working a tight hair game last night, as well as Jena Malone serving up some drunk memaw at a wedding realness, and MISS DIANA ROSS!!

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

Behold, Elizabeth Banks Serving Up Some Dramatic Duvet Couture At The Hunger Games Premiere

November 10, 2014 / Posted by:

Wearing clothes is hard, it really is. Unless you’re wearing a Snuggie, there are so many things that could go wrong: Camel Toe, Pancake Ass, Hot Dog Boob. Elizabeth Banks must know this, because instead of torturing her titties by wrapping them in a too-tight bandage dress or cramming her ass into some kind of high-waisted satin pant contraption, she showed up to the London premiere of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 this evening wearing a billowy sleeveless chiffon duvet cover with a built-in blanket cape. Normally a dress like this might make me shout “FUG!”, but not this time and here’s why:

1. Nothing brings me more joy than seeing someone who looks like at any given moment could drop to the floor and take a comfortable nap.

2. Elizabeth’s dress reminds me of this rich girl I knew when I was 8 named Sabrina. Her nanny let her eat icing sugar by the spoonful, and you couldn’t touch anything in her house because it was opulent as hell. This dress reminds me of the duvet in her parent’s second bedroom, which I believe was used solely for fucking.

3. Elizabeth’s dress also reminds me of the one the greedy-ass queen from The Queen Who Stole The Sky makes when she steals the sky, and that’s super hot, because that crazy bitch stole the sky! THE SKY!

Here’s more of honorary shameless slut Elizabeth Banks working some “The bottom half of my dress is filled with farts and nobody can tell” eleganza in London this evening in what will no doubt be the first of 4,083 Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 premieres, as well as the rest of your mom’s bedding sale haul, including Jennifer Lawrence wearing an embroidered mattress cover, Jena Malone wearing the cover from a yellow satin bolster pillow, and Natalie Dormer looking like a fancy scented underwear drawer sachet.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

Lea Michele Really Brought The Boozy Cougar Realness To Last Night’s Teen Choice Awards

August 11, 2014 / Posted by:

Aspiring discount Barbra Streisand impersonator Lea Michele is only 27-years-old, but for some reason she decided to show up to the Teen Choice Awards – an award show for teens – last night looking like a horny wine-guzzling 45-year-old recently divorced mother of two named Nikki (real name: Laura) who just got kicked out of the bar at The Cheesecake Factory for pretending to give a bottle of ketchup a hand job and offering to show the bus boys her new lips. “Guess which ones? Wink! Hey, whaddaya mean I have to leave!? I’m not even finished my Typhoon Punch yet!”

I do sincerely love that Lea Michele is embracing her inner “former stripper turned Tampa tanning salon assistant manager”, because cheap n’ slutty is always the look, but she’s not totally committing to it. Are those her natural nails? Egads, NO! The only time a middle-aged Bebe-wearing MILF mess leaves the house without thick acrylic porn star blow job nail tips is when she’s on her way to get new ones put on. And why is her neck so bare? Someone check the red carpet for a silver-plated “Tiffanee & Co.” chain choker ($1.99 at the swap meet when you buy a knock-off Coach wristlet) with a heart-shaped dog tag that has the word “SEXXY” engraved on the back, because clearly it fell off when she tried to dry hump the surfboard.

Here’s more of Lea Michele at the Teen Choice Awards looking like the kind of day-drunk mom who runs upstairs and changes into a bikini when her teenage son’s friends come over after school, as well as girl group Fifth Harmony (who all look like $2 budget mall rat perfection), Nina Dobrev, Selena GomezFrankie Grande’s less-famous sister, Zendaya doing what she thinks is an homage to Madonna, and a couple of random call girls from Calabasas.

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

Dior Hates Jennifer Lawrence

November 19, 2013 / Posted by:

The heads of Dior must all feel a fiery hate in their charcoal hearts for Jennifer Lawrence and deep in their offices is a locked room where the walls are covered with pictures of her Xed out face and the floor is covered with their intricate plan to take her down. Their anus lips are probably still chapped from Jennifer Lawrence getting the lead role in that Hunger Games shit over one of their faves. They obviously wanted that Kaya Scodelario chick to play Katniss and now they’re punishing Jennifer Lawrence by hiring her as the face of Dior so they can make her wear jacked-up shit like this. Everything is going according to plan.

At last night’s L.A. premiere of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (which is what I wish happened to that dress before she put it on), Jennifer Lawrence wore some dress that I’d like to sit under if the mosquitos took over the world and vowed to eat us all alive. Bitch looks like she was getting drunk by the pool and when she tried to run into the house for a white wine spritzer refill, she crashed through the screen door. While she was on the floor, her assistant ran up, told her she was late for the premiere, belted the screen door around her bathing suit and called it a look!

And an impossible thing just happened. Joan Rivers found a way to move her stretched rubber face into a look of glee, because she can’t wait to talk shit about her arch rival’s fug dress thing on Fashion Police.

Here’s more from last night’s premiere including some of Jaden and Willow Smith dressed like a new age lesbian couple from a planet far away and Jena Malone pairing The Slut Dress: Sparkly Holiday Edition with some Sharpie Groucho Marx brows.

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

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