Elon Musk might have finally bested Jeff Bezos in the billionaire race to spend their billions in the most shamelessly self-serving way. A 4-minute trip to space that wastes tons of money and burns through an obscene amount of resources and fossil fuels? Ha! That’s nothing compared to the $43 billion Elon has pulled from his dorky velcro wallet and offered up to buy Twitter outright, by purchasing all the shares he doesn’t currently own. You know, I’m proud of Elon – he’s really leaning in hard to the whole “evil rich guy desperate for everyone to love him and even more desperate to prevent anyone from making fun of him” vibe. But slow down Elon, the self-awareness is almost too much!
Recently, Elon acquired 9% of shares in Twitter, making him the largest shareholder of the company, and announced plans to join their board of directors. But that fun little purchase vanished faster than Elon’s original hairline when it was revealed that he wasn’t actually going to be joining the board, possibly because he didn’t want to submit to a background check. It got messier yesterday when we learned that Elon was slapped with a lawsuit fromTwitter shareholders, who accused him of failing to disclose his 9% stake in the company on time. Basically, he allegedly fucked with the Securities Exchange Act. If they didn’t like the way Elon was playing before, they’re likely not going to be so thrilled with this latest development. Earlier today, Elon tweeted that he had made an offer that he’s hoping Twitter doesn’t refuse, for the sake of his already bloated ego.
I made an offer https://t.co/VvreuPMeLu
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) April 14, 2022
CNN says that Elon has offered cash for the remainder of the shares in Twitter, at a cost of $54.20 per share. They say that represents a 38% premium over the closing price of shares on April 1 (which was the last day of trading before Elon disclosed his 9% stake in the company. So yes, this definitely smells of a takeover that has more than a dash of hostility shaken on it. Elon submitted a letter to Twitter that explained his intentions, and according to Elon, he believes that Twitter needs to be taken private to fix everything bad about Twitter, something only he can “unlock.” via CNN:
“I invested in Twitter as I believe in its potential to be the platform for free speech around the globe, and I believe free speech is a societal imperative for a functioning democracy,” he said in a letter he sent to Twitter. “However, since making my investment I now realize the company will neither thrive nor serve this societal imperative in its current form. Twitter needs to be transformed as a private company.”
The letter was addressed to Bret Taylor, the chair of the Twitter board, not CEO Parag Agrawal, who assumed that title last fall. It concludes: “Twitter has extraordinary potential. I will unlock it.”
Twitter acknowledged that it received Elon’s offer, and claimed they were reviewing it, to see if it would be in the best interests of current shareholders and the company in general. Elon has stated that the $43 billion cash offer is his only offer and that if Twitter turns him down, then he’d have to “reconsider.” Twitter is already a pretty high-temperature dumpster fire, and many Twitter users are predicting an Elon-owned Twitter could develop into something even worse.
i was on tumblr when yahoo had to sell it for $3 million after buying it for $1.1 billion. we were all a little bit responsible for losing yahoo a billion dollars. and with that type of collective effort, i believe we here on twitter can lose elon musk even more
— lesbian mothman (@verysmallriver) April 14, 2022
I know I said I would never delete this app, but if Elon Musk becomes the owner? pic.twitter.com/Ekg3yVg6pR
— first of all, bitch, … (@thejournalista) April 14, 2022
elon buying the social media platform he met his ex on is peak down bad behavior
— Spam Musubi Bangs (@yuckybangs) April 14, 2022
So far, things might not be going well for Elon’s takeover of Twitter. The Independent is reporting that Saudi prince Al Waleed bin Talal, a majority stakeholder in Twitter, has rejected Elon’s offer, saying that it’s too low. Elon has said that’s his final offer, but really, can he truly put a price on silencing all the people who love to bring up that his father owned an emerald mine in apartheid South Africa, or that picture of Elon and Ghislaine Maxwell, or any picture of Elon Musk’s face prior to 2002, or that Twitter account that tracks Elon Musk’s private jet usage, or anyone who Tweets about Tesla’s workplace health and safety issues or union-busting, or that meme from The Simpsons with Apu defending Elon Musk from “valid criticism“? Actually, that one might actually appreciate the break. It’s been overworked so hard it could be denied a grievance meeting with Tesla HR.