The Chicago Tribune reports that Eric Trump – the dumb adult son of Donald that isn’t Donald Jr. – visited a bar in Chicago last night, and things didn’t go so well for him. A female employee of The Aviary, the bar in question, allegedly spat on Eric. That’s funny, I always assumed that people secretly spat in Eric’s drinks and food, but now it looks like they’re just cutting out the middle man.
Eric Trump ran to Breitbart with his story and blamed the left:
“It was purely a disgusting act by somebody who clearly has emotional problems. For a party that preaches tolerance, this once again demonstrates they have very little civility. When somebody is sick enough to resort to spitting on someone, it just emphasizes a sickness and desperation and the fact that we’re winning.”
Eric was reportedly seen leaving The Aviary last night, most likely after the alleged spitting incident happened. The lady spitter was reportedly taken into custody by police. Police wouldn’t confirm the incident, but instead told reporters to speak to the Secret Service. The Secret Service had no comment. But we do know Eric won’t be pressing charges. Probably because he doesn’t know how. Employees and owners of The Aviary were not available for comment this morning. But it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to guess what side of the political spectrum some of them fall on. After Donald Trump invited the Clemson Tigers to the White House and served them cold fast food, The Aviary owner Nick Kokonas tweeted the following:
I could care less about college football. But I'm personally inviting the Clemson Tigers team and coaches to Chicago to experience what an actual celebration dinner should be.
I'm not joking.
Someone let them know what The Alinea Group does. It'll be worth it@ClemsonTigers
— nick kokonas (@nickkokonas) January 16, 2019
However, it doesn’t mean they’re pro-saliva assault. A statement was released by The Aviary this morning, and they say the alleged spitter has been placed on leave, and that no guest should ever get spat on.
Update – Statement from Chicago’s The Aviary on incident last night with employee and Eric Trump: pic.twitter.com/cWLE7wfsFO
— Mary Ann Ahern (@MaryAnnAhernNBC) June 26, 2019
If I had to guess, I’d say that the alleged spitter might be out of a job soon. I’d also guess that this incident has Eric shopping for one of those umbrella hats, because he “don’t want no more mouth water falling on his brain suitcase.” But Donald Trump is probably thrilled by this news. A Trump made the news for getting covered in a woman’s fluids, and for once it wasn’t Donald.