A lot has changed in the 13 years since Avatar debuted in theaters and we all learned the true meaning of CINEMA. A week prior to that historic occasion, we thought Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel was the apex of man’s achievements in motion pictures. How wrong we were. It’s almost embarrassing how simple and easily entertained we were. Those little neutered chipmunk nubbins, mere gestures towards anatomic verisimilitude, were laughably rudimentary compared to the virile, lashing appendages of the Na’vi and we, as a culture, have been horny for tails ever since. And now, after more than a decade of looking at our pets in a way that makes us a little bit uncomfortable, the first full trailer for Avatar: The Way of Water is here to remind us of that indescribable feeling we get when the lights begin to dim, and we masturbate to something we’ve never masturbated to before. Somehow, nut ache feels good in a place like this.
After teasing the first look at the series that will no doubt go on to sweep the Emmys and cause massive waves of mid-90s nostalgia for The Gap, FX has dropped the first trailer for Ryan Murphy’s Impeachment: American Crime Story. We get to see what everyone looks like in Impeachment-era styling, wigs, and prosthetics. Just like all Ryan Murphy projects, the results are achieved with varying degrees of success. Some look great (Beanie Feldstein’s turn as Monica Lewinsky) and others will make you wonder what is going on (Clive Owen’s best estimate of a Bill Clinton impression). But I have to hand it to Ryan for the perfect casting in that television above. Nothing brings me back to 1998 like the low-frequency buzz and aggressive static shock I’d get from sitting too close to the ol’ Sony Trinitron tube TV.
IndieWire says that on the most recent episode of the Talking Sopranos podcast, Sopranos actors Michael Imperioli and Steve Schirripa dropped some news about a payoff that went down between HBO and star of the series, the sadly deceased James Gandolfini. It seems that James was once offered to replace Steve Carrell on The Office, but HBO didn’t want to tarnish one of their most iconic actors with something as drab as television comedy so they made James a different offer he couldn’t refuse! $3 million to not get a job.