Category: Heroes
Open Post: Hosted By The Mom Who Saved Her Daughter From A Raccoon Attack
I live in Toronto, where raccoons outnumber people 5 to 1* (a la New Zealanders and sheep), and so far, I haven’t had any negative experiences. Most of the raccoons are just cute lil’ garbage-eatin’ bumblers. But this isn’t always the case. See: the MacNamara family’s recent fight for their lives in Ashford, Connecticut. People reports that last Friday morning, 5-year-old Rylee was standing on her front porch when a raging raccoon randomly attacked her leg. Rylee screamed for help, and her mother, Logan Kelsey MacNamara, ran outside to save the day. Logan pulled the critter off Rylee’s leg, pushed her inside, and flung the vicious raccoon onto the lawn. After Logan got back inside her house, the raccoon picked himself off the grass and continued on his merry way. Another day, another terrorized family!
*a totally made-up statistic Continue reading
Open Post: Hosted By The Most Responsible Kitten In The World
Meet Binx. Binx is a 6-week-old black kitten with stunning blue eyes. The only cute-baby-duties this little guy should be concerned with is ESP (eat, sleep, play). But because he was born on the mean streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Binx also had to fight for his life… and the lives of his three orphan kittens. That’s right, Binx was discovered taking care of a trio of newborns whose birth mother was nowhere to be found. A local animal rescue group, KC Pet Project, has named Binx “the most responsible kitten in the world.” Damn, this is like when parents hire 12-year-olds to babysit their 10-year-olds. Babies babysitting babies!
Open Post: Hosted By The Man Who Allegedly Got Kicked Out Of A Buffet For Eating Too Much
In arguably one of the most relatable stories ever reported, a man was recently BANNED from an all-you-can-eat buffet for eating too much of their food! Who among us hasn’t taken advantage of the bounties that buffets provide? This is could potentially go down as history’s greatest injustice! Mr. Kang, a Chinese food live-streamer, accused a local grill buffet of blacklisting him for eating what some may consider more than his fair share. Unfortunately for the buffet, Mr. Kang’s talking mouth is just as big as his eating mouth and he made this “discriminatory” incident a viral sensation.
Leonard Roberts Says That Racism And Ali Larter Led To Him Getting Fired From “Heroes”
When Leonard Roberts got cast in the series regular role of D.L. Hawkins on the first season of Heroes in 2006, he thought he landed his big break, but it turned out to be anything but. In an essay published by Variety, Leonard writes that from the get-go he knew Heroes was not going to be his dream job and his character was killed off after just one season. It wasn’t for story reasons either. Leonard says that he was never asked for input on his character, he and other actors of color were often side-lined, and that working with Ali Larter, who played his wife on the show, was about as pleasant as a salad tossing from a python. And even though others working on the show also found that Ali Larter’s supervillain power was punching the souls of others with her asshole ways, Leonard was the one who got pink-slipped. Ali responded to Leonard’s claims about her, and it turns out her other supervillain power is that she can make eyeballs roll out of heads with a shitty statement.
Jane Fonda Avoided Arrest At The Last “Fire Drill Friday” Climate Protest
Jane Fonda could be spending her Friday afternoons eating Ben & Jerry’s while wearing cashmere loungewear in her living room that’s so luxurious it makes a Nancy Meyers movie set look like a crack den. Instead, she spent this past Friday beating the pavement with the actual Ben and Jerry, protesting climate change in DC for the fifth week straight. The first four times she participated in “Fire Drill Friday“, Jane was arrested. This time however, according to The Hollywood Reporter, Jane avoided arrest because she’s in danger of being held for 90 days, and she wants to be sure she’s available when her Netflix show Grace And Frankie starts filming its sixth season. That’s right, not only is Jane principled and proud, she’s booked and blessed, honey.
Robert De Niro’s Company Is Suing An Ex-Employee For Watching Too Much Netflix At Work
Out of the grey, desolate bleakness, a new hero has emerged. Show me a woman who managed to, in 4 days, watch 55 episodes of Friends at work while getting paid, and I’ll show you an icon. Her name is Chase Robinson, but instead of being rewarded for her astounding achievements in workplace don’t-give-a-fuckatude, she’s being punished with a $6 million dollar lawsuit brought on by her former employer, Robert De Niro. Sure, Chase may have also been accused of a little light embezzlement on the side, but how else was she supposed to eat lunch while watching Netflix at work if not for the Canal Productions company credit card? Did Bobby expect her to bring a bologna sandwich from home or some shit? Hell to the naw.