Category: Duchess Kate
Prince Hot Ginge And Duchess Meghan Are Moving Off To The Suburbs
Samantha Markle better update the address of the half-sister who’d rather wear a coat that doesn’t sell out immediately than talk to her, because the next time she brings the paparazzi along to try to get into Kensington Palace, shit is going to look extra embarrassing for her since Meghan won’t be living there anymore. Just a month after it was announced that Prince Hot Ginge and Prince William are breaking up their offices at Kensington Palace, we learned that PHG and Meghan won’t be P. Willy and Duchess Kate’s neighbors anymore since they’re moving off to a quaint, little 10-bedroom cottage in the suburbs early next year. This is very good news for Prince George, because his delicate royal ears will no longer constantly be punched with the irritating sound of Meghan’s faux English accent, and he can turn his uncle’s old place into a giant closet for all his Mary Janes.
Duchess Kate Wore A Fancy Tiara While Duchess Meghan Had To Leave An Event Early Because Of Security Concerns
A Tale of Two Duchesses: Duchess Meghan sweats it out in humid ass Fiji while Duchess Kate struts around in Princess Diana’s favorite tiara. Hey, that hardly seems fair!
Keira Knightley Says Her Comments About Duchess Kate Were Taken Out Of Context
Keira Knightley dragged Duchess Kate and her perfect post-birth look in an essay titled “The Weaker Sex.” But according to Keira, she didn’t mean it and the whole thing has been taken out of context.
Open Post: Hosted By Duchess Kate And Prince William Getting Into Some PDA At Princess Eugenie’s Wedding
We know Prince William and Duchess Kate have three children, but I’m sure if The Queen had her way, it shall remain a mystery as to how those future heirs were made. Royal magic? Wishes? Stop asking, you pervert! Generally, PDA is a no-no when it comes to royal family protocol, but today William and Kate decided to let royal protocol take a backseat to their emotions, and they were caught holding hands in the pews during Princess Eugenie’s wedding ceremony. So kinky! Is that the first few bars of Beyoncé’s “Naughty Girl” playing?
Keira Knightley Went After Duchess Kate For Looking Too Perfect After Childbirth
Keira Knightley has shared her childbirth experience in an essay entitled “The Weaker Sex” for a book called Feminists Don’t Wear Pink (And Other Lies). Keira spares no detail of the birth of her daughter Edie in May 2015. Gag reflex trigger warning: unless you like your brunch frittata with a side of umbilical cord, skip the essay and stay for the shade of it all, because after giving us the gory/wonderful details of giving birth, Keira had something to say about how Duchess Kate turned from an Autocrat into a Decepticon when she presented a perfect image of herself to the world just hours after giving birth to her second child, Princess Charlotte.
Open Post: Hosted By Duchess Kate’s Grand Return From Maternity Leave
It’s been non-stop DUCHESS MEGHAN! PRINCE HOT GINGE! DUCHESS MEGHAN! PRINCE HOT GINGE! Well, those two can FINALLY take their wavin’ hands and smilin’ mouths to a spa for some much-much-much-needed rest, because Duchess Kate is back and her wavin’ hand and smilin’ mouth can take it from here.
A little over five months after Prince Louis, Kate and Prince William’s third child and Prince George’s second understudy, was pulled out of her body, she went back to work in London today. Well, technically, Kate went back to work temporarily a millisecond after a human came out of her body when she posed in front of the hospital with a 10-second-old Prince Louis in kitten heels and Annie drag. But today she worked a full day (45 minutes is a full day to a royal, okay, bitch?!) at Paddington Recreation Ground where she met and played with some kids from the Sayers Croft Trust’s Forest School.
The floors of the UK are probably covered with nothing but hair today, because People says that Duchess Kate debuted a SHOCKING NEW HAIRSTYLE (she cut like an inch off or something), so I’m sure everyone took a machete to their mane to be just like her. And because you care, Kate also wore some old Zara boots.
Kate played with the kids in the garden and before leaving she said, “All I found were tiny slugs!” She added (no, she didn’t), “I also found a blond leech, but realized it was just Samantha Markle trying to hit me up for Meghan’s real number.”
Pics: Wenn.com