Anthony Weiner aka Carlos Danger is on the loose once again and he’s already bending the rules. According to the New York Post, Anthony was released from federal prison after serving 15 months on a 21-month sentence for sending pictures of his dick to a child. Now Anthony is out, staying at a halfway house, and has registered as a sex offender. He also ordered some lasagna to be delivered, despite the fact that the halfway house has a big sign on it that says “You May Not Bring Food or Beverages Into This Facility. Stop. No Exceptions!!” Not only that, he only tipped the driver 10%. Typical fucking Weiner!
Perhaps the most unfortunate but aptly named ho in town, Anthony Weiner found out Monday he’ll be spending just under two years in the pokey.
TMZ says the former congressman and estranged husband of Hillary Clinton’s trusted aide Huma Abedin pled guilty in May for sexting, Skype sex-ing, and being generally cyber nasty with a 15-year-old North Carolina girl he met on Twitter. Suddenly the “A” part in all those “A/S/L?” messages I got in AOL gay chatrooms back in the stone ages seems like an incredibly smart move. Huma filed for divorce from Anthony the same day he pled guilty.
Hmmm… Based on the Anthony Weiner dick pics I’ve seen, I’d say that he’s not giving himself enough credit and should widen those digits a bit. Unless he’s describing the size of his brain, and if that’s the case, he needs to bring that finger closer to that thumb.
The New York Post says that Anthony Weiner learned the hard way (or judging by the pic, the semi-soft way) that before you take a picture of your dick bulge for your Twitter ho, make sure your kid is out of the room first. The Administration for Children’s Services has reportedly put Anthony Weiner’s name on a case folder and have officially started an investigation into his skills as a stay-at-home daddy.
Huma Abedin Dumped Anthony Weiner After He Got Caught Bringing Their Son Into His Sexting Adventures
Anthony Weiner’s sexting ways may have finally gotten him fucked again, and not in the way he wanted.
Nothing good has come from Anthony Weiner sending dick pics to tricks. Sexting with chicks who weren’t his wife cost him his congressman gig in 2011. Weiner tried to bring his dead political career back to life when he ran for mayor of New York City in 2013, but he proved that he was already Mayor of DumbFuckVille when a sad and tragic peen pic he sent to another trick was leaked. Weiner’s wife Huma Abedin stuck with him through all of that. One would think that maybe the pile of dried dingles in Weiner’s head would produce a clue and he’d retire Carlos Danger and quit sexting with women not named Huma Abedin, but nope. Carlos Danger has once again been caught getting into some sext-a-holic antics, and this time Huma has had enough. She has left him and all it took was a crotch picture with their son in it. “Gross” doesn’t even begin to describe…
Sydney Leathers, best known for being former NYC mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner’s sexting partner, graduated to full-blown porn earlier this year (I’m so sorry) and has become so self-conscious about the state of her sperm harbor that she has decided to undergo a labiaplasty. TMZ reports that Sydney is going to spend $8,400 to have her floor-length meat curtains trimmed up to valance length. That’s a lot of money to make your shit not look like something Bea Arthur wore on Golden Girls, especially when there’s such a glaring need to move that hairline halfway between it’s current location and Theresa Giudice.
It gets worse, though. If you’re clinging to a rocky ledge on the top of Mount Nausea this morning after waking up spooning either an empty bottle or some hose beast who was your best option at last call a few hours ago, allow Sydney to stomp on your fingers in exquisite heels from Discountstripper.com to send your hungover ass hurtling into the vomiting abyss. TMZ also said she will be SELLING her expertly butchered deli meat cast-offs on abiBids.com.
I hate myself for trying to figure out which category they would be listed under. RARE Finds? That could work if there’s a roast beef pun in there somewhere. All I know is that someone at that website needs to change the name of Memorabilia to Memoralabia for the duration of the auction if that’s what Sydney’s leather is going to be categorized as. There’s no minimum unless you count dignity, so bid away, sick fucks!
It’s times like these when I am so glad that both Anthony Weiner and Sydney Leathers are skanky sleaze whores with zero dignity and no shame, because they made last night a night to remember. I once watched a pant-less drunk dude barf onto a table at a McDonald’s in Union Square and that moment now seems pure and pristine compared to Sydney Leathers chasing Anthony Weiner through a McDonald’s after he came in last place in the Democratic race for the Mayor of NYC. Bitch bit the bottom hard.
Gawker says that the night started with Anthony Weiner’s sext-mistress turned porn star Sydney Leathers showing up to his campaign party with her stretched-out silicone globes breaking through her elegant Joyce Leslie original. Sydney told reporters outside of Weiner’s campaign party that she was there, because she’s one of the reasons why he came up empty in the NYC mayoral race. Kind of like how his dick came up empty after he jacked off to her pictures for the 12th time in an hour. Sydney planned to confront Weiner at his party, because she’s a fame whore and that’s what fame whores do. Weiner wasn’t inside when Sydney showed up and when he found out about her plan, he tried to foil her stunt queen move by sneaking into his party through the backdoor of the McDonald’s next door. Sydney saw Anthony Weiner going into the McDonald’s and she followed him. The beautiful, hilarious and sad moment was captured in two Vines, which are after the cut. CUE THE BENNY HILL THEME SONG! Continue reading