Category: Angelina Jolie

Sade Was The First Artist To Record At Brad Pitt’s Newly Renovated Recording Studio At Chateau Miraval

October 11, 2022 / Posted by:

Why sage when you can Sade? I think that’s what Brad Pitt’s going for with the launch of Miraval Studios, a state-of-the-art recording studio he had built on the grounds of Chateau Miraval, the winery he owns with the Russians his ex-wife Angelina Jolie sold her shares to as part of their divorce proceedings. According to Billboard, after a year-long renovation (which included Brad’s $1 million salt-water pool and other expenses, he’s currently being sued for $250 million by his new, unwelcome business partners at Stoli) of the existing studio that was built at the Chateau in 1977, Miraval Studios is now open for business. And Sade was the very first artist to bless that mess.

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Brad Pitt Thinks Emily Ratajkowski Is “The Hottest Thing On The Planet,” But They’re Taking Things Slow Because Both Are Dealing With Messy Breakups

September 29, 2022 / Posted by:

The hottest thing on the planet is the fucking weather, but according to Brad Pitt, global warming ain’t got shit on Emily Ratajkowski who he reportedly thinks is hotter than Heat Miser’s hemorrhoids. It’s been about a month since we started hearing rumors that Brad and Emily were bumping down-low parts, but there hasn’t been much proof of that. All of Emily’s mail goes to her social media accounts since she practically lives on the internet, but Brad hasn’t made one appearance in any of her posts. And sources claim that the reason why Brad and Emily are keeping things “low-key” is because he’s afraid that if he gets a serious girlfriend, that other busty-lipped dark-haired skinny woman in his life, Angelina Jolie, will use it as ammunition in their never-ending child custody fight.

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The Company Angelina Jolie Founded To Deal With Her Winery Shares Is Suing Brad Pitt For $250 Million

September 7, 2022 / Posted by:

The gloves are off! But that happened back in 2016. At this point in their legal brinkmanship, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are just slapping at each other with the skeletal remains of their flayed hands. Just a bunch of raggedy ass bones clacka-lackin’ in each other’s faces, phalanges flying all willy-nilly and shit. It’s gotten so bad now that Angelia is using a surrogate hand to slap Brad in his face.

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Sources Claim Angelina Jolie Is Trying To “Inflict Pain” On Brad Pitt By Requesting The FBI Report About Their 2016 Private Jet Fight Be Released To The Public

August 18, 2022 / Posted by:

If wearing a skirt on the red carpet of his Bullet Train premiere in Berlin earlier this summer was Brad Pitt’s plan-A to distract us from the imminent release of an FBI report Angelina Jolie initiated back in the stone age following the now infamous 2016 fight the couple had on their private jet that eventually led to Brad producing and starring in Six-Years a Divorcé, his plan-B seems to be calling People Magazine’s emergency PR crisis hotline and reminding them how many exclusives of his babies he’s signed off on for them over the years.

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Angelina Jolie Attempted “The Electric Slide” In Celebration Of Zahara Jolie-Pitt’s College Choice

August 1, 2022 / Posted by:

It seems like just yesterday that we watched a toddler Zahara Jolie-Pitt often grace the paps with a masterful, cutting side-eye (seen here) while out and about with her Hollywood elite parents–mom, Angelina Jolie, and dad, Brad Pitt, and her child army of siblings (Maddox, Pax, Shiloh, Vivienne, and Knox Jolie-Pitt). But we blinked, time flew by, and now she’s headed off to college this fall. Angelina took to Instagram to share that Zahara will be attending Spelman College, an HBCU. Around the same time, a TikTok of Angelina attempting to participate in the “Electric Slide” at a Morehouse & Spelman alumni event in LA was posted. Her electric sliding went about as well as you’d expect a white lady’s dancing at an HBCU event to go–not well. Now that Zahara’s side-eye is full grown and I’m sure she cut Angie with it while watching that mess, someone should probably assess her pulse since if anyone’s looks could kill–Zahara’s could–and it might have been low to begin with judging from those lethargic body movements.

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A Judge Sided With Angelina Jolie And Ruled That Brad Pitt Must Turn Over Business Records For Chateaus Miraval Her Team Had Subpoenaed

July 25, 2022 / Posted by:

Advantage: Jolie! Page Six reports that in the never-ending tennis match between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, a judge has ruled that Brad, his company Mondo Bongo and his business manager must turn over the business records pertaining to Miraval wine that Angelina’s team has subpoenaed. In their previous Miraval Coup volleys, Brad had vehemently opposed Angie’s decision to sell her shares of the winery they bought together back in 2008 to a third party after the judge told her she was free to do so last year. But in June, Brad filed a motion accusing Angelina of intentionally trying to “inflict harm” on him by secretly selling her shares to a “stranger,” a wine group called Tenute del Mondo which turned out to be a subsidiary of Stoli, a brand Brad considers to be acting with “poisonous associations and intentions.” So much ado over a mid-range rose, you’d think Brad was saving lives one frosty glass of influencer juice at a time.

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