I was about to call this situation between Brad Pitt, his new lady Nicole Poturalski, and his ex-wife Angelina Jolie a “love triangle.” But there needs to be at least two triangular angles of mutual love for that to be a correct statement, and we all know that Brad and Angelina are currently behaving more like two simultaneous line equations (aka they’re never going to meet in the middle). That’s all the math I can muster today, so let’s just get to the point. There’s a chance Angelina may have terrible feelings about Brad’s new casual girlfriend, but the feeling is not mutual.
It’s been a scant two weeks since we learned about Brad Pitt’s rumored lady, a 27-year-old model named Nicole Poturalski, a woman who looks like the SHEIN version of Bella Hadid, and who might possibly be in an open marriage with 67-year-old German restaurateur Roland Mary. We also heard that Brad had spent some time with Nicole at Chateau Miraval, the French winery and estate he co-owns with his ex-wife and current legal sparring partner Angelina Jolie.
Inviting your current girlfriend to the French mansion you bought and share with your ex sounds like the kind of big, bold move that confirms things are serious. Or at least, serious enough to make the home’s other owner “furious” about it. But according to Us Weekly, Brad’s not attached to Nicole like that, at least not at the moment.
Brad Pitt’s back on the bottle (if in name only) and he doesn’t care who knows it. Brad recently gave People a many buzz-worded “exclusive” about the launch of a new product coming out of Chateau Miraval, a sparkling rose Champagne called Fleur de Miraval and it’s only $400! As we know, Chateau Miraval is having a big week thanks to Brad’s holiday there with his new, married, lady friend Nicole Poturalski that coincided with what would have been his and ex-wife Angelina Jolie’s wedding anniversary. And according to Us Weekly, Brad doesn’t give a fig if it hurt her feelings and did so with the expectation that she would “lash out.” Why it’s almost as if all this drama benefits them both as co-owners of Chateau Miraval which they “remain committed to,” ”viewing it as ‘an investment for their children.’” I suspect Brad and Angie have finally found some common ground. “Buy our wine—we fucked around and spent the children’s inheritance on divorce lawyers!”
When we all first heard that 56-year-old Brad Pitt has himself a new girlfriend (not named Alia Shawkat) who is a 27-year-old German model named Nicole Poturalski, we figured this was just another regular, boring tale of a middle-aged Hollywood movie star answering his natural instincts by getting with a hot, young model. “HOT and YOUNG?! You must mean ‘hot’ as in ‘hot flashes’ because she’s practically a grandma. Eww, Brad’s a granny fucker!” said Leonardo DiCaprio somewhere.
But it turns out this might have a touch of SKANDAL to it because The Daily Mail says that Nicole is married to 68-year-old German businessman Roland Mary and they have a 7-year-old son together named Emil. However, don’t think that homewrecker Brad struck again (the first time being his marriage to Jennifer Aniston), because sources say that Brad and Nicole aren’t in some kind of entanglement situation (copyright: Jada Pinkett Smith). Nicole and Roland apparently have an open marriage.
The jig is up! 56-year-old William Bradley Pitt’s been caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar. This particular cookie jar belongs to 27-year-old German model Nicole Poturalkski who was seen kissing William Bradley as the pair traveled by private jet from Charles De Gaulle airport in Paris to his Chateau Miraval estate in the south of France. Yes, the same estate where the judge who Brad’s mostly ex-wife Angelina Jolie is trying to get fired from their divorce case, married them back in 2014. Oh, and by the way, Nicole is said to look a touch like Angie. Wow, did you feel that? I don’t know about you but I just felt the temperature in the air drop by like 20 degrees. Because while Angie might not give a shit, I’m sure Odile Soudant, the French lighting designer who is currently suing Brad for credit on the work she did on Chateau Miraval, is none too pleased! A pox upon your (electrical) box, Pitt!