Brad Pitt Might Just Be Friends With Alia Shawkat

November 20, 2019 / Posted by:

Yesterday, Mieka posted about the rumor that 55-year-old Brad Pitt might be dating 30-year-old Alia Shawkat. It felt like an Arrested Development B-plot in which Maebe Fünke, fresh off of scamming her way back into her old job as a producer at Tantamount Studios, starts dating Brad Pitt after suggesting he’d be perfect as the lead in a reboot of Homeless Dad. But their pairing might be as fictional as that scenario I just made up, because sources are saying that there’s nothing romantic going on between them.

Either Brad and Alia don’t want anyone to think they’re dating, or they really are just nonsexual pals who like looking at art together. At least that’s the vibe I’m getting from the sources who recently spoke to People magazine and Us Weekly about this situation. A source close to Brad tells People:

“They are absolutely just friends.”

Us Weekly’s source says much of the same, although we don’t know how their source is connected to this information. Is it a friend of Brad? A friend of Alia? A psychic who likes to spy on the personal lives of celebrities? Doesn’t matter, we just know this source is also going with the friends angle.

“Brad is not dating Alia. They are just friends,” the source tells Us.

Page Six also got in on the action, but instead of a quote from a source, they simply say that they’ve “learned” that Brad and Alia are “just friends.” E! News spoke to someone about Brad and Alia, and they had the most to say about what’s going on. E!’s source sounds like a college student trying to hit their essay word count an hour before it’s due. All these words to say: THEY’RE JUST FRIENDS.

“They’ve spent time together and have similar interests, but that’s the extent of it,” a source shared with E! News. “They are not a couple and there’s nothing romantic going on. Brad has different friends in different walks of life and this is one of them. He enjoys being social with friends.”

Okay okay, we get it – Brad’s penis isn’t getting familiar with Alia’s shawkitty. They’re just friends. With that being said, Ryan Reynolds better send Brad a very nice thank-you card and gift basket. Because I think all this talk about being just friends has subconsciously made at least a dozen people feel the urge to download the 2005 film Just Friends.


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